Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi, i have been reading the forum for a while and i can sympathise with absolutely everyone on here
Unfortunately i split with my ex whilst my daughter was only 3 months old, over the last 3 months it has been nothing short of a nightmare, i have tried everything to see our daughter yet she is refusing contact unless it is in a contact centre or her mums living room for half an hr, which i bit the bullet and went along with but as i was doing so she stopped contact again and again, nobody seems to understand why she is treating me like a criminal
I requested mediation which was refused, she refuses and ignores my communications, so have court date set for the 19th this month
Any advice would be great, no previous history or violence, just a bitter controlling woman trying to use me as a cash machine
Thanks
Hi there
I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it, what you describe is more common than you would think and many of our members can relate to how you're feeling.
Contact and child maintenance are two entirely separate issues in the eyes of the court, if she is causing you problems with the money side of things, you can actually open a case with the CMS yourself, this would hopefully stop her demands for more. Have you used the online calculator to see roughly how much you should be paying? Here's a link
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
As your little one is still so young, when contact does resume it will probably be in a Contact Centre, but this can often be a good thing and can give you and your child time to bond away from maternal interference.
If the mother is breastfeeding this will be taken account of and contact will start with short frequent contact and build up over time. There are no hard and fast rules about how much contact you will get or when overnights will start, but it's always better to ask for more than you would be happy with, as this allows you to be seen to compromise without giving up too much.
Best of luck
Hi There,
.
Take a look at the sticky topics at the top of the legal section, there is lots of very usful info there as well as a good guide if you are going through court without a solicitor.
.
GTTS
I started my nightmare when my son was 1. A progressive contact was suggested and it started in a contact centre. In my opinion what ever she offers before court take it, I was stubborn and reduced the contact centre and ended up there anyway. The more time you get under your belt the quicker it progresses. Great advice from Mojo tho and something that definitely worked for me as time went on. Ask for more but expect a little less. You want to leave yourself room for negotiation. Good luck.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.