[Solved] First CAFCASS Interview

I don't know the questions they will ask you, except about your child, I think thy will also discuss the allegations raised by her and your replies if you have made a statement, as your solicitor said, just be honest with them.

Hi there 🙂

I should think they will ask why you think your son is better with you and as EnyaM points out, they will want to discuss the allegations. They may ask you about any previous convictions or anything in your past that they should know about.

I think its important to take your time and think about your responses to the questions, when we're in stressful situations we can often babble a bit and say things we wish we hadnt in hindsight! So be measured, answer the question specifically and try not to get sidetracked, just stick to the points you wish to raise. It might be handy to have a pad and pen to make notes and to write down anything they say that you might want to remember, and also some bullet points of things you would like to bring up.

I have heard some say that their telephone interview lasted 5 minutes and others that say theirs lasted for a good half an hour or so...it will depend on the CAFCASS officer I guess.

Best of luck 🙂

I am waiting on a visit from social services who will write a report to go to CAFCASS.

Will they make an appointment with me or turn up unannounced?

They'll make an appointment with you Dave 🙂

Thanks NJ! 🙂

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your replies to all my topics and questions.

My ex and her new partner have been posting tweets indirectly at me saying I only have my son for the money as she signed over his benefits and DLA to me and Im now going through a solicitor for my share of the house which is my entitlement. Even to the point where he has called me the C word (indirectly) in a tweet about me doing it for money.

Im a little upset about this but can this be used in court as it isnt directly aimed at me even though I know it is.

Im getting a little angry at the accusations to say the least. I feel like they are trying to bully me into giving in by posting these comments.

Ive never done this for money but how do i prove this is the case in court as i dont have any savings or money spare as it goes on my flat and clothes and things for my son.

I also know cafcass will ask how i can support my son and i know she will tell them that i bullied her into giving me the benefits and need them to support him. Im moving in with my new partner so these will stop soon in terms of my tax credits. We dont talk anymore and its obvious she will say i bullied her into it and that its all about money as i said.

help

Aaaarrgggghhhhh Facebook and Tweets ...the bane of the legal world..and Jeremy Kyle!LOL!!

What you can do is print the tweets off and if you are asked to provide a statement you could produce these as evidence. Please do not respond to them, or let any of your friends or family respond to them!!!

You can tell the CAFCASS Officer about them if you want to, confirm that you are not surprised at further allegations being raised, along with all the others, Your son resides with you and you are entitled to those benefits, you only have to explain if it is raised that how your money is spent.and the fact that these will stop/reduce soon as you are moving in with your parner.

If the Tweets / posts etc... mention you by name then you can approach the Police and have them speak with your ex and her partner for causing you Harrassment, anguish and distress. this is emoitional abuse!

however if they do not mention you by name then there's nothing you can do but provide them as evidence in court as Enyamachaela has said in the last post.

Again....do not respond....ask any family/friends also not to respond.....its intimidation...they're trying to get you to bite and then they can play the victims.....don't give them that card pal!

i'm going to sound very harsh here but you need to be the bigger man...(man up)....take the moral high ground....when they see they cant get you to bite they'll try other things....again don't bite...stay calm and focus on the longterm....anything you retaliate to now could affect future outcomes of court action etc...

i used to bite at every little thing my ex did in the early days....now i fight her on the moral high ground....i know i'm not lowering myself to her standards and i kow that the judge will see this too.

the Judge will see Twitter and Facebook mentioned in yours / her statements and "groan".....the judge i had actually did when i mentioned my ex had been slagging me off on FB to her mates!

Yep Dad I d is so right. The bigger person turns his back. Trust me..I have a temper so I do know how hard that can be, but it is important for you. 🙂

I agree 🙂 Dont rise to the bait, because thats what they are doing, baiting you to see if you'll bite!

The benefits are yours by right and there really is no need to defend your position in that regard...If they bring this up in court they are likely to get told that benefits and maintenace are a separate issues to contact and residence and have no place in the court process.

I agree about not responding. When my ex used to send abusive texts or emails (which was frequent), I'd draft an immediate response, but let it sit there. Then I'd go back a while later and re-draft it. Then I'd let my present wife look at it and re-write it (from scratch often). Then I'd decide whether I really wanted my reply to appear before a judge - most time, I decided that it would look better if I simply didn't respond (which was usually what my present wife had suggested in the first place) and by that time all of the heat had gone out of my anger anyway. 🙂

That actually ACTD is a brill idea..and I have done it myself...by writing it down you do get rid of your anger,re-draft it and re-draft it , just don't send it! LOL! It may sound silly but it really does work! 🙂 Gets it out of your system 🙂

Oh, I agree it doesn't matter about names - if you can be identified, that is enough. As I said, we quite understand your caution - it would be foolish to take the risk of jeopardising your case. Of course, you can still ask for advice in private if necessary 🙂

Thanks folks.

On your advice i have saved the tweets for my solicitor. I feel like they are trying to bully me into reacting and i wont give them the pleasure.

I didnt think court would be bothered but i see ur points and i will ask the solicitor to do it.

Im stressing about the CAFCASS interview as i have to defend myself against false claims and why im a good father and deserve to keep my son. Ive made a few notes but what if I dont cover what i want too? I havent made a statement yet with my solicitor but i guess he will do that next week.

I feel like no matter what i do im gonna loose. Just a feeling but cant help myself.

Please don't stress about the CAFCASS interview. Its a very good idea keeping a note of the things you want to say, it will help to keep you on an even keel!

Its really more of a conversation than "an interview" as such.

I just hope i get a good officer. I find it easy to talk to new people and unfortunatley i think i have a good ability to judge character so i will know instantly what it will go like. lol

...Please dont worry about CAFCASS, just be prepared, and as I said in a previous post write down everything you want to raise. The officer is likely to ask you about the allegations, just try to remain calm and reasonable and tell the truth. They are used to hearing accusations and they are used to peoples reactions when asked about them. I think you need to concentrate on the reasons what you can provide for your son and the reasons he is better with you. 🙂

Hi NannJane....sorry to but in but I to have a CAFCASS interview looming.

I have had so many conflicting allegations made at various stages of the process, where will they take any allegations from to discuss?

Witness statement, CAFCASS letter, social worker etc?

Regards,

Dave

Its hard to say Dave....just prepare yourself, answer them truthfully, There is no proof to back up the allegations so just be up front. You should mention how much she changed after the strokes, psychologically, and in her behaviour towards you....and point out that brain damage can result in these kinds of changes in a person. Try to come across as concerned not only for the kids but for her too, as you were her carer. As you know they dont like to hear parents being derogatory or bad mouthing,,,you can get your points across subtly by talking about how much you had to do for her... and how the drug taking around the children was just another indication of how she had lost the ability to be insightful, and made bad decisions that put the kids at risk...like the long distance journey in the car when she was in no fit state!

When asked a question take your time in answering, be measured and calm in your resoponses. 🙂