Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Had the section 7 report through last week and attended latest hearing on Friday. The report is very clear that there are signs of alienation and that mum's negative view of me has influenced the children and led to them experiencing emotional harm. The judge has ordered supervised contact over the next 8 weeks before a final hearing. Does anybody have much experience with supervised contact? Although I have not seen the kids for 9 months now, I want contact to be as natural as possible and don't want the children to feel they are being watched, etc. The first session is likely to feel awkward for them, as they have had to go along with mums view for so long and may feel guilty, but I want to assure them I am just looking to move forward and carry on as normal, without lowering myself to talking about mum.
Any experience of supervised contact you can share would be welcomed. Is it possible that she could make things difficult, such as not bringing the children to the centre? Or somehow trying to encourage them not to engage during the session?
I'm so happy that you have some sort of contact be it supervised or not with your children.
I am yet to get to that stage so I cannot comment first hand regarding how it will be or what to expect but I have read up a heck of a lot over the last 2 years regarding all aspects of separation from children.
My one piece of advise would be that you make the day as normal as possible and DO NOT mention the alienation at all, however difficult this may be for you.
The day is about reconnecting with your children and getting them to enjoy their time with you again.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
chris, did report say it has to be in a contact centre? if not, then nothing wrong with a family member being with you at home, while your with the kids. in my case someone just wanted me to be in contact centre out of spite lol. zero safe guarding issues.
They have recommended a contact centre up until the final hearing in 8 weeks. I still deny all allegations but I no longer care about the type of contact granted at this stage, just looking forward to seeing them again and hopefully convincing them that a relationship with BOTH parents is the best way forward. I think we both need to accept that we should communicate better in future, although I will never forgive her for what she has put me through
yep, just focus on seeing your children and enjoying time with them. if sessions in contact centre go smoothly, then will work in your favour a lot for the next hearing. as for contact with ex, i have given up and dont care about contact with her. cafcass etc said ex can use a contact book and write in there lol. whatever.
as long as we have a good defined order, then hopefully we can carry on without contact with ex.
Supervised contact can work in your favour, the contact centre will monitor your interaction with your children and write a report for the court, but they will be in the background so try and forget they’re there.
I absolutely agree with Dad-66s advice... just keep it light and happy and avoid talk of the past, their mother or the court. Maybe plan what you will talk about, think what interests they have, and ordinary things you have been doing since you last saw them. Just make it as enjoyable and relaxed as you can... they may be a little quiet at first, that’s normal, just fill in any gaps with chat and they will come round I’m sure.
If they have any favourite foods or drinks, or maybe some fruit, you can take that in for your session, some comics maybe, or anything else you think they might enjoy.
You’re getting there Chris... best of luck.
ideally, if you can think of some activity that involves you both, something a little more complex that will require to to help would be ideal, so there is more interaction with you.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.