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So, I work in a job that means I have to go away every few years and this year unfortunately I am going away for 4 months. Final hearing was at court, 50/50 shared care. When finalising the details to go in the order it was requested that during my time away my son continue living with my wife as per the week on week off arrangements.
I am aware that my ex wife can legally take him and keep him for the entire 4 months but I would see this as not being in my son's best interests. Whilst with me he resides with his 2 siblings, his step mother who he absolutely adores. Given the choice he would stay here full time but only being 6 his voice was not enough for the court to make that decision.
My concern is that my son lived with his mother until 5, lived with me for 8 months and then adapt to this week on week off arrangement set out by the court then when I go away he goes back to his mother for 4 months and when I return comes back to the week on week off arrangement.
My ex wife is that petty and bitter that she would do this, purely to spite my wife. She is very jealous of the relationship he has with my wife.
I have received in writing the final order today and there is no mention of my request at all. I am due to go away in 8 weeks so little time to do anything either.
So, now my son resides with his step mother on a permanent basis 50% of the time would this be sufficient enough reason to gain parental responsibility for him? Please don't think that she is trying to antagonise my ex, if she had perfected parenting my son wouldn't even be living with me in this capacity and she wouldn't have lost 50% of him being there with her.
My wife does everything for him, education, appointments etc. She is the only person he will open up to. They have a great relationship. In his eyes she is his mother. Would a court be more willing to grant PR to someone the child lives with 50% of the year.
I see it that I have a few options :
try and persuade the mother to agree to my wife having parental responsibility. This is going to be hard though! She cannot see through her jealousy.
Go back to court and request that this is heard under a specific issue - will a judge hear it if they haven't even dealt with my request? Can I ask that my wife become party to this specific issue request?
Wait and see what happens while I go away where I will be able to do nothing to help and my son will suffer from not being with his family.
What would you do? I really need some help on this.
Hi there
Can you remind me who wrote up the order? Who did you make the request to? Was it addressed in court at the final hearing?
If it was discussed in court, you could try writing to the court and stating that the order is incorrect, or at least incomplete and ask that the missing section be added.
If it wasn't agreed as part of the order at the last hearing, I think the best option is to apply for an emergency specific issue order and yes, I would ask to make your partner part of the proceedings, by submitting a C2 form.
I think you know what is going to happen should you leave things up in the air....I fully understand how difficult this must be, as you must be feeling so disillusioned with the system right now.
All the best
Hi Mojo,
Ex's solicitor hired a barrister for the final hearing, she wrote up the order. It was requested to include the provision that in the event of me being away my wife would still care for my son. It was emailed to the court and her solicitor also mentioned the same.
Obviously they said hat anything agreeable would be put in and anything not agreed would be finalised by the judge, either ordered or not.
Due to my job which everyone was aware of I thought something would have been put in. Nothing.
I will also be breaching the order by going away aswell so I am in complete catch 22.
My son has severe behavioural problems since the court hearing and today has stolen something from a child at school which is totally out of character for him. He is withdrawn and not himself at all.
We have tried speaking to him and he says that he doesn't tell Mummy how he feels because he doesn't want to upset her. He does he same with the school, he doesn't want the school to mention it to her on her weeks. So we are completely stumped as to what to do with that. By ordering shared care has dramatically effected him and no regard has been given to his welfare or emotional state at all, leaving us to pick up the pieces. My wife is at the point where she doesn't know if she can take any more. Son is causing so much disruption that it is affecting the rest of the family. And this is to continue for over 10 years.
Would I have to pay again for the emergency specific issue or just request from the court?
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