[Solved] Final hearing what to expect?

hi lads,
just recieved email from school saying mum wont agree to me writing to my daughter at school that she only wants me to have the contact thats in the order. what do you think i should reply saying?

Hi Scooby

I'm not too surprised by this response from the school. Can you just remind us, what, if anything, is in the contact order about written/phone contact with your daughter?

I would consider replying to the school thanking them for their assistance so far (ok, you may have to bite your tongue while writing that) and asking them if they would be prepared to accept letters to pass on to your daughter if it was specified in a contact order, as you are concerned that your daughter is not receiving your letters at home. In reality, they might have difficulty in refusing such a request as the school should act in your daughter's best interests, and if a court adds this to a contact order, they obviously are doing this because they believe that it is the best solution.

However, before you do this, I would have a word with your solicitor to get his opinion on the situation, and whether he feels that it's a reasonable request to add to the contact order. You also need to make sure that it covers the current school, and any future schools she may go to.

thanks actd
The order i have at the moment is for phone contact wed and sundays and skype when available. nothing in the order about written contact as i didnt ask for it as my post never gets to my daughter.but judge did say to try promote as much contact as i can between visits between phone skype and facebook so if i ask for it i dont think it would be a problem. school has just phoned me and said they feel ther been put in the middle and cant seem to please either of us so they have a meeting next week with there legal team?
i know myself i am putting them in an awkward position and feel terrible .

Hi scooby,

The schools legal department should report that they have to afford you the right to have things kept between you and the school private, without the involvement of the other parent. Equally, they should not be allowed to say that you are putting them in an awkward position. You have the same rights as the Mother.

thanks yoji thats what im hoping for.

I just got a letter from my solicitor saying my ex is having trouble in extending her public funding certificate and that this will prevent her from making an application to change my daughters name.
Does this mean the final hearing wont go ahead if she doesnt have funding?
would she need public funding to apply to change name does it cost alot if your not getting funding.
My solicitor is away now until the 22nd nov so hoping you might know something about this.

No the final hearing will go ahead. Regardless if she has access to funding or not.

She wouldn't/shouldn't need to it apply the name change. Naturally you are going to defend it. A childs name is an important part of their identity.

thats a relief i tought the letter meant if she didnt have funding it wouldnt go ahead.

and about the name change in the court order it just says mother intends to apply to file a c2 application regarding childs surname and that it shouldnt be listed seperatly for directions.

i dont have a clue what that means 😕

hi all

well the school had an app with there legal department about writing to my daughter at school this is the letter i recieved thismorning i dont think i can do much about there decision they know i only have contact on school holidays so it will be difficult for me to attend during term. do you think the school would allow a telephone app to discuss my daughter progress?

I write in relation to your recent request regarding exchanging letters with your daughter through school, to clarify the school's position after seeking further advice from legal department .
As i have previously stated, we will send you a copy of your daughter's annual report in july each year, and keep you informed of the dates of termly parent evenings. The school appreciates that you may not be able to attend on certain dates and so would be more than happy to arrange suitable appointments within term time at which we can discuss your daughters progress.

However, i would like to clarify that the school is not in a position to become involved in contact issues . If you have any difficulties with court orders or directions made for contact and/or having with your daughter generally then you need to seek independent legal advice from your solicitor.

Hi Scooby,

If your ex is filing a C2 application regarding your name change, it means that she is going to put her case forward to change the name. The hearing means that the hearing about changing the childs name will go to a directions hearing and i suspect this will be more of a hearing the arguments for an against from yourself and your ex.

The school should allow you to have the telelphone conversation yes... you are her parent.

The school technically are being advised i believe wrongly now by their own legal department relating to the text which (i assume) has come from their letter to you. They are coming at an angle of there is a contact dispute occurring and that they are being made to default into the arrangement, this is not the case... they aren't actually raising to the fact that this has nothing to do with contact but helping your daughter in support of an opportunity to have correspondence to you. I'm a little bewildered that the school aren't prepared to support you in this.

If they aren't prepared to allow you contact via letter... i'd start thinking about phone calls.

It may be worth asking the school if they would be prepared to assist in contact if it was put into a contact order - they may be worried that by assisting at the moment, they may be acting in breach of a contact order as you have specified contact. The fact that they have taken legal advice implies that they may not be averse to the idea, but that they are covering themselves from a legal standpoint.

Alright lads. well i got the date for the final hearing i also recieved the cafcass report about whether my daughter should travel to ireland for contact with me and also about whether her name should be changed.

Im happy enough with the report in that they tought it would be in my daughters best interest to visit ireland and she herself wanted to come over but its not as much as i hoped. i wanted half of all school holidays with at least 2 weeks during summer.
they suggested 1 week at easter, 1 week at summer and 1 week at christmas as these are the longer school holidays. they felt that on the shorter mid terms feb,june, oct that 3 or 4 days would be to short to travel and it might interfere with her schooling. i wasnt happy with this as when you add up all the days including the weekends there is 11 days in each of the short midterms so i was hoping i could of had 5 nights in each of the short midterms. i dont think it would interfere with her schooling as she is on holidays and plenty of people travel for weekends or midweek breaks when there on school holidays and i she would be home intime for school

They also said my daughter wished for her mam or grandfather to bring her over as she didnt want to go without 1 of them but mum wont agree as she has responsibilitys and i wouldnt be happy with the grandad commiting to this as he works away alot and also is a heavy drinker he constantly interferes with my time with shannon when im in england and refuses to let me speak with her while shes staying at his home. I am afraid to agree to this as i think is another way of there been more problems with me having no contact and think there will always be times when he cant get over or just wont. this would cause alot of difficulties for me as if he doesnt bring her i cant just have her the next day flights would have to be booked for me to go over and at last minute i wouldnt be able to afford it which means i wouldnt see her for another month or so.
i realy would feel at ease if i could pick her up myself in eng and bring her to ireland with me and then bring her home i wouldnt have to rely on anybody then.
also about the name. it says in the report that my daughter would like a double barreled name with mine and her stepdads and they would hope the court supports this. the only problem i have with this is mum dropping my name. she has already done this in school completly removed my name and asked for the stepdads surname to be used only.

ive have spoke to my solicitor about this but she doesnt seem to be bothered its like she wants to drag evertything out. i explained my concerns about grandad bringing my daughter over for contact and what if he couldnt come and cancelled.her response was ther will always be a few bumps at the start but if this happens it means me and my daughter dont get to see eachother for another 6-8 wks.
My daughter is so comfortable with me and my family she is happy when she is with me for a week i cant see why i cant just pick her up. i know at first because its a diff country she might want her mum to bring her but i think the first time is enough and then future visits i should be allowed pick her up.
I also wanted to apply for an irish passport for my daughter so there would be no issues with her eng 1 been lost last min. i asked my solicitor could i get my daughters birthcert but she said not to ask yet as this might upset my daughters mum and she might not be agreeable to anything in court.
but i realy wanted to have it before april just incase im bringing her over.

Could i get a birthcert myself if i go to the town hall where we registered the birth?

What do you guys think? can i ask at the final hearing to be allowed pick her up myself or even for mum to bring her the first time.
can i say i dont want the name double barreled as i feel my name will be dropped?
Can i ask to have her for 2 weeks in summer rather than 1 and could i have her for 5 days on the shorter midterms also?
if i say that grandad is a heavy drinker and i couldnt rely on him to commit to this would i be ripped apart.
Would me asking for all this look bad for me after cafcass recommeding it do the courts always go with what cafcass say?

i am starting on my statement for the final hearing should all this be in it?

Sorry for the long story thanks lads.

Hi scooby

The first thing that occurs to me is that you don't seem to wholly trust your solicitor. You need to resolve this one way or another - she is there to act for you, and if you don't feel she is doing this, then you need to either make sure that she appreciates how you feel, or change your solicitor (or represent yourself).

I'm not sure how the courts would feel about you applying for an Irish passport, but if that's feasible, then I'd certainly raise it with them - take signed application forms with you to court (along with the birth certificate, which you should be able to apply for by phone from the registry office where her birth was registered) so that if the court agrees, your ex can sign them on the spot if necessary. As far as travelling is concerned, perhaps you could travel to England the first couple of times and accompany your daughter and your ex's father back, but after that I don't see any reason why you should't be asking to bring her back on your own.