[Solved] Final hearing what to expect?

Hi scooby
Unfortunately, there's no guarantees of what happens in court, and there's also no guarantee that two judges will come to the same decision, but it certainly helps what the judge has said already. If you don't have a solicitor acting for you, you could give the CCLC a call for some additional advice.

thanks for the reply.
im hoping i get the same judge but my solicitor says it is the luck of the draw on the day. this judge had a realy strong view on what should happen but i no its not gaurenteed this is why i am worried. im hoping they will see that there has never been any problems with any contacts and they will think shes ready to come to ireland i feel it is important for her to be apart of her family in ireland and 4 yrs is along time for not seen grandparents auntys uncles cousins etc. dont no what to expect about the name i feel very strongly about not changing the name especially that i live in ireland and only have contact every 8 wks i just dont want my daughters name changed because mother has married im still her dad.

sorry for the double post do you no if the judge i had at last hearing will give a report on what she said to whatever judge does the final hearing?

Hi scooby,

Your case is a fairly difficult one to make a guess at the outcome. This primarily relating to the travel element.

I would say that the Final Hearing is one where the Magistrate/Judge will make an outcome there on the day. It is clear to me that you are doing all you can to be as involved as you can given your predicament.

In addition to the circumstance your Daughter is also missing out on the love of her wider family (your family) and the Courts should definately support you and your Daughter in having access to this.

How old is your Daughter?

Indeed i strongly agree too that your Child's name should remain the same. This to me (while certainly not an isolated incident) sounds that she is acting out of spite. I would strongly advise that you also try and raise at the hearing an enforcement order relating to your Daughter being known by her birth name and not as a "known by" which to me it definately sounds like your ex-partner will try to do. This will raise many problems for you should you ever wish to get involved in her education/health issues (god forbid that they may arise).

Your Solicitor is right, it can be a case of luck of the draw on the day. What standing are you going off from your case? Are you looking to try and argue of your exclusion because of her being controlling of your child? Given your posts i would argue you have a point.

The Judge from the previous hearing will usually include a direction and "minutes" relating to the last hearing. These of course will be read by the Judge on the day. If you are unsure as to what may be included you can contact the local courts to ascertain what might trickle over from your last interview.

thanks for reply

My daughter is 10 next month she had been coming to ireland since she was a baby 3 times a yr up until dec 2007 which was the lastime she was over. nearly 4 yrs now.

me and mother never had a relationship shes always lived in uk i always lived in ireland we met in ireland when she was over visiting family.she always allowed me contact when she came to ireland and when i visted uk.when she stopped contact in ireland after dec 2007 i went to the uk looking for contact and have been attending every 8 wks since (costing me a fortune) especialy when i bring my 2 other children so the can have contact with ther sister. getting to the stage now whether i pay my mortgage or have contact with my daughter.i didnt want to get solicitors or court involved but she left me no choice i agreed to go to england to have contact but when id get ther she would say i could only have a few hrs not overnight as agreed she would say she was staying in her grand parents that weekend or worst was canceled contact when she punished my daughter for not doing her homework said was the only thing that would make her do her homework in future my daughter always asks to stay longer with me but is not allowed.
mothers said to judge that its to soon for my daughter to go to ireland and that shes not in a position to bring her as she feels my family would be hostile towards her (they never have been she always stayed in my mams house when she came over with my daughter) judge said sure you dont have to go to ireland dad can collect and drop back she then said my daughter wont go without her. its all a mess i am worried about the feelings and wishes to that she might put things in my daughters head i dont no what way caffcass will look at the situation. mother tells my daughter that her new husband is her dad as there married now and thats why her name is changed. she changed my daughters name to a known by name at school last yr i found out when i contacted school for update on how she was doing as mother wont provide this. the school have all my details now and said will consult me on everything and they changed her name back to that on her birtcert untill the get something saying her name has to be changed.
i dont no what my solicitor is going to bring up at the final hearing i still have to do my statement with her. but i will ask her about the order to not use a known by name.(thanks for that)
She basicly doesnt want me around now that she has met someone else. the whole family constantly interfere with my contact time. giving my daughter a phone and phoning 6-7 times a day between mam,stepdad,nanny, grandad, auntys its a joke shes only giving the phone when coming with me its not like i wouldnt answer my phone to her asking me to drop her around to them for awile because they miss her and when i didnt arrived and the mobile home 9am nxt morning,
ah the list is endless i dont no what will happen all i know is i cant keep getting loans to have contact in uk very 8 wks. and im sick my family wont see her again this xmas.

What do you think of my proposals for half of all school holidays in ireland and alternate xmas day. one yr i have her next mam does is that excessive?

Hi scooby,

If your daughter is 10 and there have been regular visits to Ireland since she was 3 i really don't see what the issue is here. There is often always something else that is/has been going along with this. I trust you have your statement prepared and sent to Court?

Just so you are aware. Now i've been given a little more info the actual issue likely to be discussed at the Court will be two fold:
1) Why is the Mother against your Daughter going to Ireland and
2) What provisions are you prepared to make to cater for the contact to be able to go ahead (i.e. are you prepared to travel to fetch her and pay the fee's)

If you are worried about your ex filling your daughters head with things, it is simply a case of actually educating your daughter against it. She needs to know that she is what matters to you and that you travel from Ireland every 8weeks because thats how long it takes you to save up enough money. Children can be incredibly smart if you give them some knowledge... rest assured if you have any issues with any form of badmouthing etc feel free to drop me a thread i can give some good pointers.

To be fair you have an excellent case here regarding the name change and its affect on your accessing the relevent information. I would try and raise that your ex is telling your daughter that her new husband is now her Dad too. Again, bang out of order. You're clearly involved.

I think that your proposals perfectly reasonable 🙂

I'd only say that Christmas may become a little problematic and as you daughter gets older you have to be aware that school holidays may be her chance to spend with friends. That is of course several years away.

I hope your statement turns out good.

Thanks for the reply great help on this site and find it hard to find someone in a simular situation as me. My daughter actualy has been visiting ireland since she was 3 months old until she was 6 hastnt been since 2007 as mam wont bring her or allow me. She doesnt give a reason why she doesnt want her to come only that its to soon and that shes not prepared to bring her. Ive offered to pay for flights for her to bring her over but still says no ive also said id fly over to pick her up and bring her back but still answer is no. I just cant see why it would be in my daughters best interest to be cut from her irish family she also has a great relationship with my brother her godfather but mothers has cut him out also since i brought it to court. I havent done a statement yet my solicitor says ive to have a phone app with her in dec to go through it i am hoping i get the same judge as she felt very strong about not changing the name an also feels contact in my home would be more natural than holiday accomodation she also said she cant see any other judge changing name or not granting contact in ireland so would she not just agree contact at xmas to avoid my daughter getting feeling and wishes but mother still wants to apply for it. Im still worried what the outcome will be even after what judge said im hoping that judge gives her toughts to whoever does final hearing then maybe i have a chance. I understand when she gets older she mite not want to leave her friends but i think she will miss me and her siblings in ireland ive an 8yr old daughter and they are very close also i just want her to build the bond with everyone now before her teens so she knows were all here for her and who we are. If she tells me when shes older she doesnt want to come as often that would be fine with me. But i no know she wants to and mother is refusing.

Forgot to metion the reason im worried about my daughters head been filled with stuff or been told what to say is because the judge told her ther would have to be something realy drastic in the feelings and wishes report for my daughter not to come to ireland. Shes trying everything to try stop this contact so i wouldnt be suprised.but of course im not going to see my daughter now until xmas and report will be done by then so i cant sit down and explain whats going to happen but she nos i save to travel to see her and that she is all i care about.

It sounds as if the School is being cooperative, so perhaps you could have a word with them and see how they feel about you writing to you daughter at the School on, say, a weekly basis - a letter is a good way to show you are thinking abut her.

Hi actd thats a great suggestion as she never recieves anything i send in the post at home. but wondering what the school would think would they be afraid if i wrote to her in school she mite get upset? What way would i ask?would i just say its to let her no im always thinking of her and i will see her soon? And that i feel it would not make the 8 weeks as long.

The school should have a pastoral care worker - this is someone that your daughter can go to and speak in confidence (in fact, it's so confidential, my daughter was going to see the worker at her primary school for a year before I found out, and that was only because my daughter mentioned it to me in passing) about anything she wants.

I would suggest that you first speak to the head teacher at the school, and ask if you can send a letter each week/fortnight to the school - tell the school that the letter will be open so they can see the contents, and that your daughter should read it with the pastoral care worker. Also send them a supply of stamped addressed envelopes so that your daughter can write back to you. Ask the head if the pastoral care worker can introduce herself to your daughter to see how she feels about it, and make sure your daughter knows that it's in strict confidence, and that anything that happens in those sessions won't be passed back to her mother (or you for that matter if she has any concerns about her relationship with you) without your daughter's permission.

Then make sure that the letters you send are all positive and light hearted, so that she looks forward to getting them and sending you a reply 🙂

Let us know how you get on.