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Hello fellow dads,
After a gruelling 9 months of not seeing my son, back and forth court attendance, I was grabted the right to see my son on a 6 week saturday visit.
Story line is, I had a son with my ex (who is Polish and I`m Nigerian) in April last year. Upon getting home on the 21st of May, I realised she has left home with my son and and her mother. The mother has a massive influence on her and has racial sentiments about me. I tried contacting her but she wont pick up my calls...all other endeavours were unsuccessful. I had to go to court.
She made several allegations in court including domestic violence (not physical; coercive and controlling behaviour), that I abuse cocaine and canabbis, that I`m a threat to my son because I cannot provide for him, I`m interested in my son to further my permanent stay in the country and all sorts. The court ordered CAFCASS to conduct a section 7 report to investigate all the allegations. I volunteered for a drug test as I claimed I have never abused drugs in my whole life.
The drugs test came back negative for both drug samples. CAFCASS section 7 report came back absolutely in my favour, key points in the report are:
- It is in the best interest of my son to have a subsisting relationship with the mum and myself.
- I do not appear to be a threat to my son and should be part of his life, especially because he if of mixed race and it will be of benefit for him to understand both cultures.
-That we both should attend SPIP - I have attended and received my certificate.
- What my ex has narrated as domestic violence does not fall within the legal definition of domestic violence and she professionally does not beliefe I had been domestically violent to her rather, it appears to be a case of diffrential cultures.
- The court should order a child contact intervention of 6 weeks; for 2 hours every saturday.
I will complete the supervised visit on 6th April. Reports from the supervisor has been positive, he says he is impressed with the passion and enthusiasm I have shown during the visits and doesnt see why I should not have continued contact with my son especially because he is very young.
My ex has not been co-operative. I once suggested that we jointly celebrate my son`s birthday but refused after consulting with her lawyer.
I have been invited for a next steps meeting - what can and can`t I agree at this meeting? Though, I doubt my ex will be co-operative.
My final hearing is scheduled for 7th June - what should I expect, considering all the above please?
Hoping to hear from you all.
Regards.
Hi there
Well it seems you’re progressing well, the next step is to move contact forward to unsupervised contact out in the community.
It might be helpful to prepare a schedule of increasing contact to take with you to the next steps meeting, either that or a parenting plan, if you haven’t done one yet.
As your child is still very young it would be best to start off with shorter visits, for example -
Moving out of the contact centre and starting with either a Saturday morning or afternoon every week for 4-6 weeks, if all is well and the child is settled this to increase to a full day for another 4-6 weeks.
The next stage would be a full day and an overnight stay for another few weeks... Small steady increases until you’ve achieved full weekends. Maybe suggest a midweek tea time visit too.
It might also help your case if you attend a parenting course, it shows that you are taking your responsibilities seriously and are preparing for when you have yor child for longer.
All the best
Thank you. I'll look into your recommendations.
Regarding the final hearing, what should I expect? Any clue?
At a Final Hearing the Judge will consider all of the available evidence, this will include evidence provided by the parties, any relevant Cafcass reports and information that has been provided by the Local Authority. If there has been a Fact Finding hearing the Judge will also take into account any findings made in the course of those proceedings.
Using all of this information the Judge will assess and come to a decision guided by the welfare of the child involved. Judges will then use the evidence before them in conjunction with the ‘welfare checklist’ in order to come to a decision which is in the best interests of the child.
The Judge may decide to make no order, or may consider that a Child Arrangements Order detailing residence and/or contact arrangements is necessary.
You’ll find some videos in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section and if you use the search bar at the top of the page, it should bring up previous threads about others experiences of final hearings.
Thanks a lot. My ex and I went for a next steps meeting yesterday at the contact centre with the supervisor. She assisted us in putting a parental plan in place. She was initially reluctant, but the lady said to her, she likes it or not, my son needs to have and continue having contact with me as carcass has clearly said I am not a threat to my son and have not found any evidence of domestic violence as she has alleged, hence the child contact intervention.
Basically:
- since today is the last supervised carcass paid for visit, she implored us to continue the contact in a public place so as not to break the progress we have made.
- We agreed to keep the contact ongoing at parks, museums etc for 2 hours every week on a Saturday/Sunday until the final hearing on 6hh June.
-We agreed to increase it to 4 hours a week afterwards
- Once my son is used to me, to increase it to a day
- After that, every other weekend.
- We also agreed on how we he spends time with us both during festive period and holidays.
We couldn't agree on taking him out of the jurisdiction of the UK as she mentioned my application for prohibited steps order. The lady said we can agree on that in court and come to a compromise of both consenting when either of us wants to take him out of the country.
She said she would send her final report and parenting plan to carcass officer for her addendum report to the court.
It appears my ex is feeling the financial effect as much as I am and is bulging. She must know this is a lost battle as the supervised contact has gone so well and in my favour. The section 7 report Aldo was in my favour so, I'm very positive.
Fingers crossed, all should be finding court.
Thanks a lot.
That’s really good news... let’s hope it all keeps going in the right direction. If she has any sense she will realise that accepting the inevitable and working with it will be what is best for your child and for the two of you too.
All the best
That’s really good news... let’s hope it all keeps going in the right direction. If she has any sense she will realise that accepting the inevitable and working with it will be what is best for your child and for the two of you too.
All the best
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