[Solved] Final Contested Hearing Negotiation

Hi there

Well it's been a long haul but you are finally getting there!

1) I would think there may be an element of negotiation, but as contact is a weekend a month (I'm assuming because of the distance involved) it would be reasonable to have half of the holidays. Don't forget you can ask for shared alternate Christmas and birthdays, Father's Day and any other important dates. It might also be a good idea to ask for the childs passport to be released to you a month before foreign holidays are taken, otherwise you may find yourselves having to apply for an urgent order to get it handed over.

2). As said there may be some negotiation, but the judge has really steered this forward regardless of the mothers objections, so I would guess that the judge has an Order in mind...have shared holidays been discussed at all? It's reasonable to assume that because of the mothers inflexibility and hostility all the way through, the judge will hopefully appreciate that an order in your case will need a certain amount of definition, as leaving it up to her to agree willingly is asking the impossible!

Best of luck with the start of the weekends.

Hi Mojo

Thanks for your reply.

Yes my Partner has gone for alternative Xmas and at least a phone call on Father's Day, Father's birthday & Child's Birthday and vice Versa if Father's contact falls on Mother's Day, etc. It is once a month because of distance.
Father has also asked for a Shared Order and the Chid's passport as the Mother doesn't take holidays abroad. My partner is well aware this may not be granted but if you don't ask, you don't get.

The Judge at times has appeared "wishy washy" and has said "the Mother is not hostile she's just too protective"!! Cafcass believed everything the child said too and did not think he was saying what his Mother wanted him to say but they ignored his wishes & feelings and felt it was in his best interest to have a relationship with his Dad. So their recommendations is exactly what the Judge has gone for each time. Unfortunately Cafcass did not address the school holidays but were keen for the weekend contact to start in Scotland after successful progression despite the mother claiming the child could not cope with any of it.

At the hearing last week. The Mother's legal team were trying to get my Partner's legal team to negotiate but he said "no way" put it in front of the Judge and the Judge progressed it to the weekend contact in Scotland as recommended by Cafcass.

The Position Statements at each final hearing has stated the same (once a month in Scotland & half the school hols) so the Mother & her legal team are well aware of what my Partner is seeking. We Just have to hope the Judge goes with it as the wee guy needs to spend good quality time with his Dad & school holidays would certainly help that.

Doesn't is sound absurd, Solicitors arguing over what contact the child should have with their parents? It just sounds completely stupid but that's the joys of out family court system I suppose 🙁

I suspect the Judge will want to get this final order made in the next hearing so hopefully it is the final hearing a court case can only go on for so long until it is seen as detrimental to the child so hopefully they will push for a resolution.

At the end of the day Judges would like nothing more than the two parents to put their differences aside for the sake of the child and come to an agreement for the co-parenting of the children involved all the solicitors will do is muddy the waters so it's always best to be seen as the one who is willing to compromise and always have the best interests of the child at heart.

I was lucky no stinking solicitors were involved in my case and my ex was a complete [censored] right up until the final order had been made the judge sort of shamed us into working together and they acted as brilliant mediators they really went to town on my ex to chill out and agree to a schedule of progressive contact which she did in the end hopefully the judge will push either side or both solicitors the same.

Slim 🙂

Thanks Slim,

The Mother does not want the Father to have any contact so her negotation is to agree to as little as possible. I think it's her legal team that shame her into agreeing to something otherwise the Judge will realise it's her wishes and not the child's.

My Partner has to get an order that covers everything as the Mother will not bend. If my Partner tries to get her to be reasonable, she just spouts word for word what's written in the order. There is absolutely no flexibility on her part.

The fact she blocked ALL contact for 11 months says it all.

My Partner is due to see is child next weekend Saturday/Sunday but because Sunday is Mother's Day, he said he would see the child Friday/Saturday to allow Mum her day with the child. That proves how considerate he is. The Mother didn't give a stuff that my Partner got no contact on Father's Day, his Birthday, Child's Birthday or Christmas Day. To call her a [censored] is far too polite.

Sounds exactly the same as my ex she stopped contact for 10 months and right up until the last hearing she point blank refused and contact out the contact centre I suspect she and her legal rep will fold at the last hurdle and I'm sure the judge will see through it all and order decent contact it sounds like he can do no more than he is, it all sounds quite promising 🙂