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I've read through the thread and your situation seems very similar to mine, I was just wondering how old your eldest was and how you managed to get Cafcass to state PA in their report? I gave them reams of evidence and didn't get anything mentioned at all.
Hi Northern,
Sorry to hear of yet another parent jumping through the hoops to see their children...
My eldest is almost 10. To be fair, I have been referencing PA since the C100 went in (it included a C1a stating emotional harm to the children)
Since then the ex has done herself absolutely no favours, and this seems to have finally been picked up on by the CAFCASS officer.
The term used was "relaxed parenting style" and then further down references PA.
Unfortunately, i think a lot of it depends on your CAFCASS officer, and how willing they are to actually do the job, rather than just "rubber stamp" a report in the Resident parent's favour... I just kept referencing it, and gently pushing CAFCASS that this was happening.
Ironically, since the report was filed, and the 1:1 work between the kids and CAFCASS has been completed, the ex has emailed to say that there have been "setbacks" with the eldest and our indirect contact. She has said that this has happened after the meeting between eldest and CAFCASS officer, citing it as a direct result basically.
I've emailed her for clarification of the "setbacks" - i.e. what are they? And said that, if it's a result of the CAFCASS meeting, then they should be appraised of the situation also. She has not responded to that though, strangely 😉
So, in being pro-active, I've forwarded the emails to CAFCASS as a heads up, basically saying that I hope it's nothing, but potentially the ex is sabotaging contact now that the report has been filed and doesn't exactly put her in a positive light...
We have a day contact tomorrow with the younger two, and the eldest should make an appearance during collection in the morning - so we'll see what happens.
In any case, we're just riding it out until the Final Hearing on Wednesday now!
If i can be of any help Northern, feel free to drop me a PM, and I'll do what I can.
All the best,
BD.
They're a few years younger than mine and apparently that makes all the difference.
I quoted PA to Cafcass and even showed them evidence of what I thought would prove it to them, but alas it never happened.
I'm just in the process of trying to sort a bundle out and struggling a bit. I've got plenty of evidence I'm just not sure how I link it. Do I write a statement covering it or just reference it when I put it to the Court.
Anyway, sounds like you struck lucky with Cafcass. Good luck for next week.
Northern Guy,
Get yourself a lever arch file and some of them coloured dividers and mark the tabs A-E
In A (preliminary documents) Pop a chronology in there of relevant dates eg when you and the ex met how long you were in a relationship for when you split up she got pregant ex when contact was stopped and you started court proceedings,
In B (Applications and orders) pop in there your MIAM form your c100 application c1 and c2 ect then any orders/directions the courts have sent you.
In C (Statements) pop in yours and the ex's position statements)
In D (Expert reports) Pop in cafcass reports i put drug test results doctors letters ect in here
In E (supporting documents) I put bday cards fathers day cards photos of days out ect
number all the pages in bottom right like say in section A do it a1 - a16 same in B b1 - 12 ect
To do the index just start at section a and list them throughout the folder 🙂
PM me with your email and I'll send you a copy of mine 🙂
.. and the post-it note page markers. Always useful for finding a page very quickly.
Right Ladies and Gents... Prepare yourselves for the "post hearing update"...
I turned up to the Court at 9:50 this morning, with the hearing scheduled for 10am.
Hearing was listed as a "final contested hearing" with a Full day set aside.
Given the previous CAFCASS report and the delays with the Respondent statement, I was mildly optimistic.
When I arrived, the respondent's solicitor ducked out very quickly - shortly after introducing me to the ex's Barrister.
I was collared by the CAFCASS officer who asked me for a chat...
She gave me the low down on the situation - "So, {ex} has agreed to almost everything..."
Couldn't believe my ears, Ex had bought in a barrister and the barrister had basically said "Make a deal, or give poor evidence at the hearing and make the deal anyway"
The direct quote from CAFCASS was "She asked for legal advice, was given it, and had to take it".
So I turned up at 10, was before the Judge by 10:15, back in a room with CAFCASS, barrister and Ex by 10:30... Order drafted by 11:20, in front of the judge by 11:40, and approved and in my hand (photocopy) by 12:10...
And I got given - EVERYTHING!
Fortnightly staying contact, Bank holidays. half of half-terms, a week in the summer hols, 4 days for Christmas, Fathers Day weekend... All of it.
I'd also put forward a schedule for increasing contact for eldest, given the issues.
This was considered as "very positive and exemplary" by the judge, and none of it was contested by the Ex - went straight onto the order verbatim!
I'm still reeling from the day, and it hasn't quite sunken in yet - but am so pleased that it's all dealt with, and I can focus on spending time with the kids!!
Will still be sticking around though, to help out where I can...
I've managed to get to a point where I can see my kids, and it's been with the support of this group. It's only fair that I return some of that help.
All the best,
BD.
I was laughing with joy as I read this - what a fantastic result (and as an aside, it presumably cost her an arm and a leg to get that advice).
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Well done indeed, and please do stick around - stories like this help other dads to keep going.
Absolutely brilliant news BD well done 🙂 🙂 🙂
As said before its always great to hear when this goes well - and from my reading of this that's down to your considerable efforts and restraint.
Now its time to put this [censored] behind you and get back to a bit of normality.
Best wishes
MH
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