[Solved] "Final Contested Hearing"

http://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/33982-final-contested-hearing-advice

The above link to a sticky on this subject may help. And there's also,a sticky at the top of the legal eagle section about cross examination.

Unfortunately the issues with the youngest child could be a ploy and it could work...but would your ex stoop to fabricating an issue like this which could have I plications for the child? I think I would want medical reports to back up something as important as this which could lead to further adjournments. Of course the counter argument is that it could equally be caused by the stress of not seeing you. And being subjected to stress by the mothers hostility and attempts at alienation....

Hi Nannyjane,

Thanks for the information, very much appreciated.

Unfortunately the ex could go down this route, since the DNA testing (which she requested) proved the youngest isn't mine, she's been adamant that contact be stopped, she's also chasing my removal of PR.
The eldest (who is mine) hasn't had contact in 13 months due to PA (in my opinion, not recognised by the court however) and has been fairly messed up by the whole situation (the ex has regretted this though as eldest is now rebelling against her too)... Like i say, the youngest hasn't shown any signs of this previously, but according to the youngest, her mum has had discussions with her about me not being her dad - so I'm concerned that this could be the cause of the issue.

In any case, I've written to CAFCASS and outlined my concerns constructively and without slating the ex, and have arranged a meeting with the Cafcass officer for next week, with notes about everything i want to discuss (including all this mess) ready for the S7 addendum.

BD

I think she might have a hard time removing PR - even though you aren't the biological father, you are the only dad she's known and the court will recognise that, and doing anything else would also cause problems between the siblings.

Just an update.
CAFCASS contacted me yesterday to arrange the meeting for the S7 interview... and apparently it's going to be a meeting with both me AND the ex attending.

From the sound of it the CAFCASS officer has advised her that we need to reach some amicable agreements, otherwise the ex isn't likely to get anything she wants! Officer has also advised that contact needs to be reinstated with eldest ASAP, and IF contact with the non-bio is going to be ceased (as the ex has requested) it would be done slowly, and wouldn't even be considered before contact has been re-established.

If an agreement can't be reached, CAFCASS will recommend that contact is reinstated with eldest ASAP, and youngest continue contact!

So, from what i can tell - if i reach an agreement with the ex, I get what i've been asking for... and if i don't reach an agreement, CAFCASS will recommend that i get what i've been asking for?!

It's left me feeling positive, but i won't count my chickens until after the meeting.
Scheduled in for next wednesday, so we'll see what happens...

That sounds a good result - it does happen that CAFCASS do get it right sometimes 🙂

Still waiting on this meeting, but the ex has taken to emailing me directly again and trying to stir the pot... I'm not biting back, simply sticking to the relevant points and replying only when necessary.
I have a feeling that she's going to start making things difficult prior to the meeting, and try and goad me when it actually takes place.

Apparently the eldest has written me a letter (no doubt under the watchful eye of her mother) which I should be receiving later today.
We'll see what happens... at this point in time I'm tired of arguing and fighting her, but if she keeps pushing I'm just going to have no option other than wait to see what the final hearing says, and if necessary start the process again - suggesting residence of the kids.

maybe it's just the monday morning talking - but I'm tired of seeing and hearing my kids being used as weapons against me, and being psychologically damaged in the process.

BD

...the response from CAFCASS has been positive and she probably doesn't like it!

Just try and remove the emotion from the equation and you will cope better with the stress....I get the feeling you are more than capable of dealing with any spammers she may try and throw!

Thanks Nannyjane.

Recently I've noticed myself slipping back into the old ways - taking things to heart, being a little more emotional about it all.
I'm not sure if it's down to the fact that I have the date for the final hearing and can "see the end"... or if it's down to the fact that there's finally some progression about the contact with my eldest.

Apparently it's taken her some time to write her letter to me, and whilst i'm looking forward to it, I'm also a little apprehensive about what kind of poison has been poured in her ear over the last 14 months... I'm under no illusions that she has been alienated. She has taken on an almost maternal role with my ex wife, feeling that she needs to protect her mother from any upset i might cause - which means keeping me away. I've flagged this with CAFCASS and the courts, but they are unwilling to agree on a psychological assessment for the child or the mother, so it's difficult to follow up.

Guess we'll just wait and see what the eldest's letter says, and go from there.
My plan is to read it, give myself a few hours, read again and then draft a document for the CAFCASS meeting regarding it.
Once all the "negative" stuff to do with possible PA/implacable hostility is out of the way I can concentrate on writing a response to my daughter. I just hope that it will build a bridge and get some level of communication between us going again.

As always, I'll keep you up to date 😉

All the best,
BD.

...I get the feeling you are more than capable of dealing with any spammers she may try and throw!

That should have said spanners! Although I often feel like throwing some of the spammers that make their way here!

If as you suspect, the letter from your eldest will be tainted by her mothers alienation, don't take it to heart, your daughter is a victim and she has little insight into any impact it will have on you....it may well help you to get PA onto the table and taken more seriously.

Thanks NJ.

If the letter comes as I suspect - loaded with verbatim negativity (prior to contact ceasing, she was quoting her mother verbatim, along with some of the solicitors documentation - part of why it was raised that the eldest was being made privy to unsuitable info) then at the CAFCASS meeting I'll raise the issue, and suggest that it needs to be addressed.

At the end of the day, this meeting is to try and reach some agreements, but if it doesn't work out I have nothing to lose.
Every hearing so far I have come out with more than i asked for, except the last one which was about what i was expecting to get (raised the issue of psychological testing which the judge didn't like!)
Anyway, if we reach an agreement - great. If not, then the judge can use the full day assigned and reach his/her own conclusions!

Received the emailed letter this evening... as expected, loaded with negative and quite honestly hurtful comments. According to the letter, my 9yr old is "disgusted with me". The letter again includes multiple verbatim quotes from her mother and reinforces the stance her mother has taken.

I've not responded in any way to the email.
I have however forwarded the email to CAFCASS asking for advice on how she suggests I proceed.
I've also stated that it is my feeling this shows the coercion and alienation apparent, and requests that this be investigated as a matter of urgency...

We'll see what the CAFCASS officer comes back with tomorrow...

BD.