[Solved] Fighting For My Child...

Hi there

It's a shame you didn't fight the non mol, but it is what it is and whilst you've made it a little more difficult, it isn't impossible.

Try not to worry about other people, you need all your strength and resolve to get through this, you. Know the truth and now is the time to get that truth across in the right way. If you've lost friends, then they were never really real friends in the first place and you're probably better off without them to be honest.

What happened at the hearing last week? Do you have a solicitor? Have you been asked for a statement to be filed and have the courts asked for any reports to be done?

You can request that due to the mothers drug use and the Social Services involvement with your daughter you would like the mother to do a hair strand test for drugs and alcohol. Youneedednt worry iff she ihas notice as it stays in the hair and they usually test back between 3 - 6 months.

You're doing the right thing by doing as many courses as you can, that should help your case.

All the best

I'm going to move your post into its own topic, it's better to start your own thread, as responses get mixed up with the OPs posts otherwise.

I've given it a new title, "Fighting for my Child" and moved it into the Legal Eagle section, where it will get more attention from members. 🙂

Yes I've got a solicitor, the first court hearing was for parental responsibility and dna test ( she was sleeping behind my back when heavily pregnant) she never turned up, now I'm still waiting for the court papers to arrive into the action which will be taken, my solicitor has asked for her to foot the bill and the judge said that if she doesn't turn up again they will make a decision about parental responsibility, fingers crossed, I'm really worried about the fact that she is going to drag up all this nonsense again, she's evil, I've been suffering from depression pretty badly it's only the last few weeks I've managed to pull myself together. I just want to see my daughter, I'm so determined to prove to the judge that I am a [censored] amazing father

How much does a alcohol and drug test cost???

I'm not sure - you can't use home testing. It would be worth googling them and contacting them for a price.

Been there mate its absolute [censored] my ex sounds like yours, id not bother about getting a drug or alcohol test and just concentrate on you and your case, try not to be seen as wanting to screw your ex over, keep it only about your childs best interests which is to have their father in their lives, the courts have seen it a million times over so she will show her true colours, don't worry about what anyone else thinks just concentrate on your case make it bullet proof dont make the situation any worse, keep cool, look after yourself do your research and make sure youre fighting fit for court, I didnt see my daughter for 10 months whilst it went through court and Ive now had her every weekend for the past nearly 3 years so it is doable with allot of hard work and it is worth the heart ache in the end.

all the best

slim 🙂

Mr slim, ten months without any contact with your daughter is criminal, why didn't you get a interim contact order??? The pain just won't go away, but I'm glad she gave me some pictures for fathers day so I can look at my daughter and keep committed to the fight, now do you know from your experiences or through any other stories on here if I could ask for contact in my parental responsibility hearing in December?? I'm willing to get anything at this stage. Even if a carrier pigeon would be so kind in dropping a picture off for me, I've been burning everyone's head out over the last five months over this and I need to try and concentrate on me now, I've booked onto a child and toddler first aid course, I'm trying to book onto a anger management course. Also a parental class, I've set up a tent in my garden and I'm using it as a work shop to make things from pallets to sell so I can pay for the solicitors, I'm flat out, I'm in college also doing my carpentry and joinery level three, I just don't like to sit down and waste my time when I could be busy bettering myself so my princess will be proud of me!!!! [censored] long process it's taken three months to get into court for parental responsibility hearing, my solicitors are very slow

Slow down DMB! Why are you doing an anger management course? That's almost an admission of DV guilt. Parenting courses are a good idea though.

Are your solicitors family law specialists?

You can ask for contact at the next hearing, but as you haven't formed a relationship with your child the court would automatically want it to begin supervised in a Contact Centre. However, because of the non mol they may want to order more in depth reports before agreeing to contact starting.

Have you been asked to provide a statement? If not you can prepare a brief position statement to tell the court a little about the background and what you would like the court to do. Your child is still very young and any schedule of contact will reflect that.

Slim has given you some good advice.

...Just read your other post where you mention two counts of DV... are they official and we're they documented? If so then perhaps an anger management course might be a good idea, although I'm still tempted to advise that you wait and see what the court says, but be prepared to offer to do one if it looks like it's going that way.

As she didn't show last time, she might not turn up for the next hearing either, I would wait and see.

Good advice, thanks. As for the anger management I will definitely wait as I don't want to give her any ammunition, just completely heart broken, I can't seem to get it out of my head what she's done to me, and no doubt the social services have pushed her into the no molestation order and originally I had to have supervised contact. I thought I was hard done by with this in place but now I can't see my daughter, any advice would be much appreciated

it's much better for you not to try and second guess what may happen, just concentrate on yourself and what you need to do to move things forward. To be honest, bitterness and revenge are not your best friends right now, both tend to distort the reality of the situation.

As there have been allegations of DV and you feel that Social Services were driving the non mol and previous supervised contact, your situation isn't going to be resolved quickly. Have you had the S2 CAFCASS interview yet? This is a basic interview to raise any safeguarding issues to the court, usually done over the phone. The Social Services involvement will form part of their report, as well as any previous police involvement. It's always best to be honest when answering their questions and equally important not to bad mouth the mother. That doesn't mean that you can't raise concerns, but do it from a position of concern and not in a malicious or [censored] for tat way. Present yourself as calm and reasonable and always put your childs best interests at the centre of all your responses.