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Hi All.
I'm due back in Court tomorrow for a second Dispute Resolution Hearing and was wondering if anyone has any pearls of wisdom to offer in terms of my situation and desired outcome.
I have attended one FHDRA previously whereby I took a stance that I wanted sole custody but flip the agreement for my ex partner to have contact. My reasons for this was due to me being unaware of her past criminal convictions for assault via the Cafcass letter (which the Court consider not relevant as its hostoric), her anger issues and poor decision making ( as an example she changed schools behind my back out of spite without consulting me) - I took her to a separate Court hearing for this and the Judge agreed with my recent application in that her decision to change schools was not made in the interests of our child. This was supportive of my argument that I would be better placed to make important future decisions as the sole carer.
Anyway, the Court ordered us on a SPIP course which we have now attended. Upon reflection, whilst I do maintain she has anger issues and has an inability to refrain from shouting and swearing in front of our child, realistically I do not believe that the Courts are going to agree to move the child's home. Note I have the little one 2/3 nights a week since he was born. He is in nursery 3 days a week and spends all day Weds with me and all day Friday with mum so in truth, whilst the ex puts him to bed more than I do, the quality time spent together is fairly even in my view. He starts school in September.
I was therefore wondering how to play the next court hearing. Ultimately, I would love for the outcome to be 50/50 shared residency - I have looked into this and can achieve this agreement due to flexible/home working etc.
My option as I see if is a) maintain the sole custody arguments tomorrow and proceed to a final hearing and use my witnesses to prove the volatile behavior points or b) attend the FHDRA tomorrow with a mind to negotiate but if I do this I would not wish to go any less than 50/50.
I am mindful that if I start the negotiation tomorrow at 50/50 I would be knocked down to less than I wish to achieve. I have read that you should always go for more access than expected and then the Court are likely to knock you down from this. As such, if I maintained sole custody it could be achievable for a 50/50 at the final outcome.
I appreciate it is difficult to predict any outcome in Court as it is each case on its own merits but I would be grateful if anyone has any advice in terms of tactics at these hearings. I wish to increase my access from 2-3 days a week and would be happy with 50/50 shared but would not want to reduce my chances of this at the final hearing if I attend tomorrow with a 50/50 first negotiation offer to my ex, which she will blankly refuse anyhow.
Likewise, I wouldn't want to leave a negative impression of the Court tomorrow if I maintain the sole custody stance and come across like I don't wish to negotiate from this.
I am self represented to date, and regret not paying for an hours solicitors advice regarding the best way to play tomorrow before the final hearing.
Any advice is appreciated.
Hi
Sorry, this was missed in time for your hearing - how did it go for you?
Apologies from me too Harry2014.
I think 50/50 is doable, did you propose this in court? How did you get on?
You touched on the relevant points of your case, the fact that her past criminal conviction is considered historic and the amount of time you have him already, which is more or less shared care anyway.
Hope it went well.
Hi chaps.
Thanks for the replies. I felt it went positively for me. I handed my position statement to the court and her solicitor before hand.
I essentially stood down from my previous sole custody argument and proposed a 50/50 shared residency agreement. Put forward my arguments as to why this would work in the little ones interests etc. outside court my ex didn’t budge much and maintained alternate weekends with mid week access but not over night mid week which is less time thanthe present agreement which hasn’t been in place for over 3 years - bizarre stance essentially offering 2/14 nights!
When we discussed in court, she then offered one over night stay mid week and alternate weekends (Friday-Sunday) but that was only 4/14 nights. Again, unrealistic and unreasonable in my view. It seemed the magistrates were trying to get the ex to agree more towards 50/50 but without success.
I’m not sure she did herself any favours ultimately and I’m hopeful I can argue the 50/50 shared at the final hearing next month. I’ll be instructing a barrister for the one day hearing to put the arguments across that hit home!
Three hearings to date but think now is the right time to pay for some assistance. Judging by her solicitors handling I’m glad I’ve represented myself and saved a few quid so far.
21 days for statements to be served. Don’t suppose anyone on here has any good templates to assist.
Thanks again.
I’ll PM you
Maybe i just an old cynic but why would she agree to 50/50!....I mean for one thing that'd mean she'd be getting less maintenance....oh and then you'd be getting what you want.
Here's some info on writing statements, and a template.
www.thecustodyminefield.com/flapp/positionstatements.html
www.thecustodyminefield.com/flapp/statement.html
www.mfjc.co.uk/home/mfjccou1/public_ftp/...ldren-March-2013.pdf
www.familylawquestions.co.uk/page9/page12/page19/
Here's my thought,
If proximity between homes allows, and I assume it does in being happy to have your child with you midweek overnight and taken to school once school starts, then perhaps, your 'plan b' proposal might be to extend the alternate weekend to include Sunday night and child taken to school on Monday morning.
Whether you feel strongly enough to pursue 50/50 and the reasons for doing so is a matter for you. However, if you change your mind in pursuing 50/50 and might be content with 5 nights in 14 then it seems to be a very reasonable and realistic proposal. Your child will already be under your care during the weekend, so it is hard to argue against such an extension of the stay, unless it is not practical in terms of geography, hours of work, etc.
Chapter
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