FHDRA Advice Please!

Its important but very little happens at a FHDRA.  If you are before a legal advisor, progress of anything will only happen if you and the ex to consent to things. You would need to be before a "proper" Judge for any disputed issues to be decided on. 

As long as you have submitted a very clear position statement , have it to hand , so you can reference it as you may very well asked "Mr xxxxxx, and what is your position............" at the start. - A brief summary of your position would do. 

Its more a "scene setting" exercise , you definitely do not need to be paying a Solicitor hundreds and hundreds of pounds, in fact you will be better off without one.  Just stay Calm and do not react to any nasty comments or allegations said about you by her Solicitor. 

That is really poor form from your Mckenzie by the way. 

Have you seen/got that report from CAFCASS following your initial call with them ? - if so , read the final section on that report titled Recommendations or/and Advice to Court - that section gives you hints as to which direction things may go.  

Go be the Voice Of the Child(ren).

hi,

have you had a safeguarding phone call with Cafcass? usually they will send you a letter after the call, and it will contain some advice to court. most of the times court will stick with that advice from cafcass, and that will set directions for the next (2nd) hearing. it's very process driven. The 1st hearing could be as short as 20-30 minutes.

check this video out, useful if your self-representing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwrA3Is27fg

Posted by: @harveybdac

That is really poor form from your Mckenzie by the way. 

Yes, I agree.. @harveybdac

I haven't had the CAFCASS call yet, it's scheduled for Sep 21st (which is exactly 3 weeks before the FHDRA).

Although I emailed CAFCASS to say I'm available sooner if they want, only because I don't want any (more) delays than necessary..

These replies make me feel a lot better - but I'm starting to get the sinking feeling the 'domestic violence' card is going to be played at some point, and I will have no idea how to respond / what to say in court if an allegation like that is made.. any ideas?!

Thanks for the advice already guys, much appreciated.

@dannyk EASY! , "sir /ma'am /your honour ( whoever you are before)  I deny those allegations and they are vexatious" - ( assuming they are all nonsense?)  then be quiet.   

Its up to her to prove you are Guilty, not you to prove you're innocent.  

If she's playing the Domestic Abuse card , it's been done to get legal aid and a free solicitor. Very common by the way.   The good news is Solicitors that accept legal aid are either nasty vultures or new and wet behind the ears - very easy to deal with even as a litigant in person , as long as you stay calm and keep your emotions in check.

OK, that's great advice! I just heard from the ex's solicitor late last night to say that the arrangement the ex and I made last month (in mediation) for me to start occasional overnights next week will no longer be honoured.

It's frustrating, but I knew it was going to happen because she's reneged on EVERY single arrangement we've made since the split so am not even upset really.

I'm assuming this will not look great (for her) to the court?

Instead she is "letting" me have one Weds evening (so 2hrs, one of which will be spent driving) and one Friday afternoon per week.

RE the court procedure, what if she and her solicitor want to enter into on-the-spot Mediation? Might be a little daunting negotiating with a legal professional and don't want to make an error..

Thanks again!

@dannyk hi. this is very common. soon as court proceedings begin, other parent starts playing games to frustrate child contact for you. and worse thing is they have legal professionals egging them on. I would suggest that if your uncomfortable with anything your ex & her solicitor propose, then do not agree to it. don't let them pressure or bully you. the courts try to encourage both parents to agree on outstanding issues. if you can't agree, then you can rely on courts to decide for you. but be aware that their decisions could be something both of you dislike and not happy with.

@dannyk Take the small of amount of contact for now and be happy She isn't denying you contact altogether ( because she can ! ) . 

How old is Child, by the way ? 

Keep that Call with CAFCASS child focused , and don't sling mud back at Mum , as tempting as it will be because if you do that means this Child has 2 parents at war therefore is at risk and needs safeguarding.  Let Mum make all the allegations she wants, show you are not the problem. Don't be afraid to actually compliment Mum at some point if you can, it wont go unnoticed. CAFCASS are the courts trusted "agency" - be very respectful and polite to whoever you speak to , you don't want them as an enemy.

@harveybdac yes, I'm keenly aware that she can pull the rug (further) from under my feet with no repercussions..

My daughter is 2yrs old, turning 3 in December. So kind of young-ish but have been advised is still not unusual for courts to allow overnight access with father.

Am not even looking for joint custody! Just 4 overnights per fortnight and a share of holidays, etc.

Good luck with it all.  There is a guide on the advicenow.org.uk website on representing yourself when the other side has a lawyer.  There is also a guide about child contact.  Both are worth a read

FHDRA can be uneventful and sometimes dissapointing if sat before a legal advisor. 

In a nutshell it's a directions hearing to narrow down what the issues are e.g

-Domestic abuse 

-Who should the child live with and have contact with.

-Safeguarding

-Interim contact

At the hearing either of the following will be ordered:
-Fact finding hearing 

-Section 7 Welfare Report

-Drug or Alcohol testing 

-Psychological examination

However don't be alarmed, the court only orders what relevant and proportionate.

Don't over think or be too nervous. At FHDRA and DRA, the court does not determine facts e.g whether abuse has taken place. Therefore you will not be cross examined or expected to reply to specific allegations.

As a respondent, your success will be:

-In making it clear what your availability for contact is during the proceedings.

-Saying nothing or as little as possible about her allegations.