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My wife was contacted by an old boyfriend on Facebook on 6th July. Slept with him on 8th and when confronted on 9th said she was sorry but had to be with him and left me with our 2 boys (8 &12). We had been happy but plodding along I guess, prior to this. In the time since she has been increasingly irrational and has asked me on several occasions if I'd like to move out so she could be at home with 'her' boys. She now says she wants the house sold so she can buy somewhere with her new man to have the boys for half the week. A legal battle would use all the equity in the house but do I have any chance of staying in the family home with the two boys without going to court? Does her leaving affect her chances of making me sell? Our eldest will not talk to her and she has threatened legal action to make him!
Hi there, sorry to hear about your situation, must be horrible for you and your sons. I don't have any experience on the financial / house side of things, others will and sure they will comment with advice. In terms of getting some general advice, there are a few routes you can take; most solicitors offer free 30 minute consultations, you can contact the CAB, Coram Children's Legal Centre have a helpline for free legal advice, as do Families Need Fathers.
It might also be worth considering attending Mediation with your wife to see if you can agree. If you were in a position where court was the only option, this process is mandatory before making an application. Court doesn't have to be expensive, you can self rep, loads of Dads on here have and are acting as LIP's in their cases.
I know it's a lot to think about with all this going on around you. Ask away on here, everyone is lovely and very helpful. Good luck 🙂
I'd recommend the CAB as well, but I would be looking at residency and going for a divorce - if you are in the house and have the boys settled with you, there is a chance that she will get a much reduced payout from the equity, and I'd see whether they'd go with you keeping the house and equity until your youngest reaches 18 as you have to provide a home for your children.
If she tried to go to court to get an order to force your eldest to speak to her, because of his age, they may well concede that he's old enough to make his own decisions (you should be seen to be encouraging some form of contact though), and I'd certainly consider self-representing for that - take a look at the stickies at the top of the legal eagle section.
It seems to me that situations like this are all about making the first move! If I were you I would apply for a child arrangements order for residence of the children and an emergency Prohibited Steps Order to prevent her from taking the children....because if she dos this first you could be on the back foot. By making an emergency PSO you will not need to attend mediation first.
As has been said you can self represent...the latest figures are that 58% of private family law cases involve LIPs, people without a solicitor. There's lots of info here and you will find the court help desk are very helpful. You will need form C100 and Form C1a as the children would be put at emotional harm if they were removed from the family home.
You may also be eligible for an exemption from the court application fee and you would need form EX160a for that.
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