[Solved] Fees and Custody

Hi

It's only in very rare and exceptional circumstances are costs awarded against the other parent - the general principal is that either parent can fight for their child best interests at any time, and unless the action is malicious, then costs are not going to be awarded. In my opinion, you have no danger of being penalised for costs.

As an example, in my own case a few years ago, my ex wife repeatedly failed to comply with court orders, resulting in about 4 additional hearings than would have not been required had she complied - I went against her for costs of those hearings, but the judge ruled against because, even though he fully understood my frustration, it was his opinion that my ex had behaved reasonably for a woman in her position, ie an alcoholic in denial. This shows the reluctance of tne courts to award costs against the other party.

however, I would certainly give the Children Legal Centre a ring for their opinion.

Hi Dad123,

Happy New Year to both you and actd as well 🙂

To be honest if you are filing for Residency its virtually impossible for your ex's legal team to claim their fee's back, as actd says providing the application is not done maliciously. If however you continuously raise Residence Applications then there would be a possibility.

You have nothing to worry about 🙂

Hello, all. I am new to the forum and am looking for some advice on the situation I am in and what I want to do and how to go about it.

My then partner and I split in 2003 and our son is now 12. My ex, has called me a number of times regarding our son behaviour towards her as he gets bored and wants things done now rather than waiting - So he has a hissy fit / temper tantrum, and lashes out towards her - On quite a few occasions I have been called from work as I say, to go round and sort out the problem.
I get there to find him hiding in the toilet, saying he wanted to stay at my house. We then leave and he is as normal when with me.

She (the ex) has on one occasion called and stated that “I am to have him all the time, and if she is to see him or meet up then it has to be a supervised visit, as she does fear that he could lose his temper and lash out at her.
When she said this I did speak to my boss about reducing my hrs, to 20hrs a week as to be able to take our son school and collect him – as I was just about to start the ball rolling she changed her mind, as for a few days our son was on his best behaviour. It sticks me that she wants him when he’s good and passes him to me when he’s misbehaving.
I really want to have him with me all the time, and so I can get him in a proper frame of mind and a routine that he/we can work to for the future as he has a form of learning disability and needs that little extra help with communication and social skills. He has settled well in his new school and so i don’t want to disrupt that but having to take him through the courts if i really need to to get custody of our son.
Sorry if this is a bit long winded, but i really need to find out as a single dad, how to go about getting a custody order and how much would it cost, and of course would i qualify for legal aid...
Many thanks
Gary

Hi garyh,

In the general sense i would recommend and i don't think i'd be alone here in saying that a Residency Order will be the way to go. There is also the issue that given your Sons learning difficulty that a Court would seek to ascertain his level of comprehension.

I have had to write letters before now to ascertain and state my opinion of a persons comprehension. A Court Liaison officer or some other person from the Court would most likely contact your son, and because of his difficulty will highly likely to involve the school to seek their statement regarding your sons level of understanding. Provided a Court/Judge can be satisfied by this, they will of course go down from the Childrens Act to say: The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child have been considered. Ergo from your post the default is that your Son would live with you.

You major issue is likely to be employment. In terms of cost... you may actually qualify for an exemption of fee's from the Courts. I always say that Court will cost between £0.00 and £200.00 dependant on your financial situation. If your gross pay is over £1,400 per month, it requires an exemption to be processed through other channels. The people who usually get free Court/Legal Aid are those in receipt of benefit... however there are other pointers i and i'm sure people like actd may be able to give if you have decided that you are wanting to go for Residency.

.... and i'm sure people like actd ...

well my wife and kids think I'm not too bad sometimes, haha.

Seriously though, I agree that ideally you need to be going for residency, but the problem I foresee is that if you go to court to get it, your ex may then dig her heels in at a time when things are going well for her at home. I would discreetly (ie without telling her) find out exactly what you need to do to get residency by agreement, and have the agreement drawn up ready - then next time she says she wants you to have residency, ask her if she's sure, and then give it a couple of days and say to her that if she does want you to have residency, you've drawn up an agreement for her to sign - she doesn't need to know you had it ready well in advance. If she signs, you have what you want. if she doesn't, you've done it without causing any friction, plus the next time, you don't have to wait to say you have the agreement, as she knows you already had it.

🙂 Thanks for the information. I did draw up a letter stating that what has gone on in the past as she has call ed up and said for me to come out of work and help to calm our son down. I said to her that the only way is for me to have our son full-time and she can see him as and when. But now when i said to her about the letter and she read it, she has now said it will never happen.

It seems that she can't cope with the fact that he does get frustrated and then lose his temper, but the thing is he's never done it with me or any other members of my family or when we are out round friends. I will be looking onto the residency order and see what i can do about this..

Thanks again