[Solved] Feeling down in the dumps again

Personally I hate the 4 days I have to go every 2 weeks - but I have a 7 day stint coming up but compared to what you are in I cant begin to comprehend it

Personally - I plough myself into work, busy myself in the evenings with things like the gym and days out

next weekend when I dont have them Im also planning on redecorating their room - I find planning activities Il do with them on my time and getting small things like a colouring book/craft thing s or even a DVD all helps pass the time and ease the strain I feel when missing them

Thanks man, I've been buying bits and bobs for the girls for when I get to see them in my cafcass observation, I'm already working all hours god sends I've started Dj'ing again and doing my mixes, I'm training every night too.

All is go with the courts I'm getting drugtests ect for the next hearing so i can't do anything more, My Daughter is nearly 7 months old now and I've heard she's moving about sitting up and starting to crawl, it's absolutely soul destroying missing out on everything.

It doesn't help I live where I live as all my family live 100 miles and 200 miles away.

Slim I am not totally clued up on your situation ,

can you make any contact with your ex at all ?

if so could you even ask for 1 hours contact every week till the court date ? when is the next hearing ?

if you could send her a recorded letter asking for the minimum contact she would allow as it is really difficult to not have contact etc

even if she does not allow anything you can then show this to the court and she would obviously need to answer as to why she didn't allow anything at all,

it must be so very difficult I am fortunate in that my ex doesn't want the children they are just financial gain for her so can have them as and when as long as I don't change the csa bracket , so have never been in this situation but have always dreaded it , feel for you

when will these woman learn children are not just their 's without the father they wouldn't have a baby some obviously need to be kept away but most not at all they are causing the children harm but not allowing them to have the other parent I often wonder how would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot, ...if you had the children and refused contact how would they feel do they not consider that ...no sadly as they believe that will never happen

it's a roller-coaster mate

I feel the same - I'm pretty lucky in that I get to see them every weekend but the days that go between are hard!! My Ex has now told me she's taking one in every 4th weekend off me so It's about to get less.

When I first split (not my choice) I went down "the single" route but eventually met someone "real" and they moved in. Thing is her son and my 2 kids really didn't get on and it made the weekends (my most precious time) unbareable. We've just split because of this which is a real shame as I really did see a future with her. So Now I'm back to being on my own counting down the minutes till I see my kids again. So like you Slim... any ideas on getting my mind on other things would be great!! Wish I had the motivation for the gym so I could get my Greek Adonis look back 😉

Bxx

It's absolute torture every minute of every hour everyday I've sort of used this time of not seeing my girls to sort my life out I've gave up smoking, smoking weed, I've started eating properly exercising and generally sorting myself out so alls not bad. My ex stopped me seeing the girls in jan because she said I'd spent to much time round hers at Christmas and she was sick of me, she's made up loads of faulse allegations which basically got three straight out of court last week, all she's saying now is I've got a drug problem and I shouted at her on 2 occasions and she can't be in the same room as me as she is frightened this was one of the reasons cafcass refused any contact, there is no communication as I've had to change my number as she will call on a daily basis and say for me to commit suicide ect, she's also been to the police saying I'm harassing her when I've not contacted her at all this year, on advice from the police she has sent me a letter saying if I phone call text or send her a letter she will prosecute me so for the moment I'm just going to get this drug test done, I've got the letter from my gp saying I went to him for help about quiting the weed and I've got to attend a spips meeting before the next hearing so I was going to leave any contact until then and fight gain for some sort of contact then, it's so frustrating as I've done absurdly nothing wrong no threats, no DV no trouble with the police no harm to the kids no criminal record yet cafcass refuse any sort of contact at all but they say they think I should be part of the girls lives its so phucked up 🙁