[Solved] fed up of lying ex....

What Coping strategies / support mechanisms are there for fathers? There seems to be loads for helping mothers or people on benefits….but what about fathers who aren’t on benefits or haven’t the monies to afford certain help?

It is now approx. 4wks short of a year since I last spent a full happy day (9am-4pm) with my little boy without the stress and worry of not knowing if I’ll ever see him again.
It was the 21st November 2010 when I last spent a day with him, we spent the morning at the park feeding the ducks, then inside to a local play area to warm up climbing up n down the soft play frames and slides….all to the amusement of the other fathers/mothers there thinking I was some sort of loonly….but I didn’t care my little boy was wanting me to play and that all I could ever wish for…to make him happy.
My ex would have got the court application I submitted early that next week…..that was my last full day with my little boy.

I have fought and am still fighting but this is really taking its toll on my physical and mental health

Just as the courts say she must make our son available for contact and I see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel, she then finds another way of preventing contact because she thinks she can do what she wants….her exact words were “I can do what I like and no court in the land will tell me what I do with my son”

She has been ordered twice to make our little boy available for contact, first was with Cafcass officers but because she didn’t like that the Cafcass said there is no reason for contact not to resume she stopped any further contacts Cafcass had arranged…….back to court again….she was ordered a second time this time with a one-on-one contact team….1 hr session…they told her exactly the same….her response…refused to let our son come to me….sat arms wrapped around him refusing to let go…and telling him that he doesn’t have to go if he doesn’t want to! In other words she imparting her will for him not to leave her!!!
That was 1hr in Feb and then again 1hr in May……that’s all I’ve seen or heard of my little boy.

Court ordered a finding of fact now due to yet more lies she has started to tell….and now she also has a medical illness affecting her brain and preventing her from going to work now….all brought on by the stress I have put on her by fighting her!!! She has a real nerve and is losing the plot!!!!

She agreed in court to contact between us only to be about the house sale and the dog we have together….won’t allow me to contact her about our son at all….she agreed that in court.
Then in April when I needed to speak to her after the Estate agents couldn’t get hold of her to look at options for reducing the price to encourage viewings and interest, I text her four times in 3 days….then had the police around saying that she didn’t want any contact and that I had been told before not to contact her…I was issued with harassment warning based on that!!! [censored]!!! I have tried to contest this and the police just shrugged their shoulders, I put this to the complaints commission and they investigated but due to yet more lies and false claims my warning still stands….despite the fact I have every message sent or received between us that no one was willing to pursue…..all I got was…”some people have a lower tolerance than others for receiving messages, and although hers is extremely low she has a right to request no contact” again [censored]!!! She agreed this in court the only contact she was willing to accept….and yet I keep by that and not contact her excessively or about anything other than that and I’m now under a warning!!! This stinks!!!
My solicitor says we can fight it but I can’t afford yet more court costs…..i’ve now given my solicitor his final instruction to prepare the finding of fact details for me and then I’ll be in court on my own to challenge her…..i have nothing left…….i cannot afford the legal bills as it is……I’m not eligible for legal aid due to income abut they don’t care about the out goings I have due to the last 2yrs since I left her!

My family support has all but deserted me due to my refusal to back down and give in…..i argued with my parents out of frustration they hardly speak to me now….my brother I live with is military and has very little time for me as I should just “man up”…. Easy to detach emotions when its not you going through this.
I have lost two relationships I’ve had this year due to them not understanding why she would be like she has been if there wasn’t more to it than I have told them……I have been 100% honest in everything…..why hide things from someone you care about…they’ll find out eventually and then it’ll cause problems….let them know what’s going off and they can judge for themselves what they can deal with….one still tells me she loves me but because I can’t see my little boy she can’t deal with that.

I feel desperately alone……..my only outlet is work and that’s now been seen to be suffering….i have friends but they sick of me moping about….i can’t concentrate, I struggle to sleep….i struggle to keep motivated.
I went to the docs earlier this year and was diagnosed stressed…not depressed…stressed! No sh*t Sherlock was my reaction….a few months I’ve been on tablets but they seem to do nothing so I’ve stopped taking them…..
I’m seriously struggling to cope with everything…..i need a break….i need to get away….i need this to end but I see no end to it.

Am fed up!...Totally and utterly fed up