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Hello,
I am going to try to keep this succinct and to the point.
I finished my relationship on Dec '11 and a couple of months after i got involved with my ex and she got pregnant.
I have parental responsibility but, due to having joined university shortly after the break up, i have not been able to help her financially.
I do help her in terms of taking and getting our son to and from nursery on the days that her work hours dont allow it and also stay with my son on weekends that she has to work (as I am in uni, i do have the time for it) and she also parks her car at my address, saving her daily parking costs.
I have been out of a job since January (when her maternity leave ended) and didn't manage to find one because of the need to be available to help her out, in order for her to keep her job.
Now, I have found a night shift job that will allow me to make some money, to continue to help her out and still do my degree.
My question is,
in my circumstances, that can't support my son fully, what rights do I have over my child?
For example, I need to go to Portugal to renew some documents this summer and because I haven't contributed to my son's costs so far (because I did not have a job), my ex partner is saying that I can not take my son with me. I know that I need to support my son, which I will do from my next paycheck, but I feel that I am totally under her control and her mood at the time.
As I am in uni, I am pretty sure that I won't be able to support my son fully until I finish my degree and get a full time position. Does this mean that I won't have any rights over my child while I am in uni?
I am confused with all this and would really appreciate any help or advice.
Kind regards,
pmmp76
Hi There,
Welcome to the forum, I have edited your post and removed your name and replaced it with your screen/user name, this is a way of you posting without anyone being 100% certain it is you, it's best to use your user name to sign off.
With regards to your rights you have exactly the same rights as a non resident parent that "fully" supports their child, it doesn't change, money and contact don't go hand in hand and in fact should never be treated in respect of each other though this is something that does happen all too often.
As a parent with PR (parental responsibility) you have to gain permission from the other parent to take the child out of the country, whether you are the resident parent or the non resident parent, the only exclusion to this is if there is a residency order in place and then the parent with this order is able to leave the country with the child for up to 31 days without permission from the other parent.
has the mother given a reason other than you not paying as to why she won't allow it?
GTTS
Hello, thanks for the quick reply and the post hints.
About my situation, she says that it is a waste of money if I take my son on holidays because she is the one that is paying for nursery . But she also did this to her own parents. They came to england for two weeks from portugal, to help her around the house (renovation work) but also to see and spend some time with their first grandchild and she did the same thing, she took him to nursery every day. I do understand that one needs to make the most of the money spent but it is a bit cold not allowing her own parents, my sons grandparents to spend a little bit more time with their grandchild.
So, she basically says that because I don't provide the financial support I should provide I can not take my son with me. She says that maybe next year, depending on how things go, the situation might change. But that's what she said last year.
During her 1 year maternity leave, she also didn't allow me to have my son on my own, claiming that it was the first year and it was very important for the mother-child bond. At the time, I did not kick up a fuss because I knew it was a very difficult time for her and, as she was already in counseling due to post birth depression, I decided to let it go. And during this first year, she also said that the following year (present year) I could take him on holidays and have him on my own. I have also said, last year, that I would help her with nursery but unfortunately I found myself without a job by the end of december last year.
Now, she says that because I failed to help her out like i said last year, she is changing what she said last year about me having my son on my own..
The problem I am foreseeing is that now money is the problem but that by next year she will find another reason to complicate any situation. I feel powerless and completely at her mercy.
Also, do you have any links where I can get information that she can not dispute?
Thanks again for your help!!
pmmp76
The question is what information is it you want that she cannot dispute? As GTTS has said, if she doesn't give permission, then the fact is you can't take your son out of the country, so any concrete facts aren't going to change the situation. Have you looked at mediation yet though? Legal aid is available for this, and as a student, I would think you would qualify - www.nfm.org.uk
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