[Solved] False allegations of DV etc

Hello
I've just had a read through your story - and what a read it was! 😉
I've only just joined this group as I am in a similar position to yourself as I haven't seen my three children since I split up with my ex in March.
The stage I'm at now is I have my first mediation appointment on Wednesday- in which I attend in my own.
I haven't verbally spoke with my ex since March, briefly via email then via solicitors.
I have had similar allegations put towards me ' serious domestic violence ' - she claimes I was violent towards her and had said all sorts. I've been through [censored] emotionally with worry- and all I'm worried about is my kids and when I will see them. She has either totally fabricated stories, or just over exaggerated- I believe this is to build a barrier.
You seem as though you can be open and honest by what I've read, I feel for you and I wish you all the best
This seems so common - and I'm sure that the judges and the legal system can see through people like that

Hi All,

Just got this letter from my wifes solicitor: - As you will see, there is no mention of Domestic Violence anymore, which is strange, they then attacked my health which i overcame and looked great at court, she did NOT! now they are trying this on. When I had my kids for the 4 hours the weekend, she came in and took more stuff. the childrens toys and things are here, so really she cant say this isn't her home. If she had left a keys maybe. Anyone have any insight to this? She is a fighter isn't she, its one thing after another. I have put a complaint into her Policestation regarding her conduct as a detective, lying on court papers, I'm pretty sure the coppers don't like things like it. anyway here is the letter any advice is appreciated :

Mr ***

As you are aware this firm has been instructed to act on behalf of Mrs * in relation to both children and financial proceedings. We note from your recent email that you have sought legal advice from Dutton Gregory Solicitors. Should you decide to formally instruct Solicitors and would like us to write directly to them please do let us know.

In our previous correspondence we indicated our client’s intention to apply to the Court for an Occupation Order requiring you to vacate the property at (my home) so that our client can return to live there with the children. Having given this matter very careful consideration our client has taken the view that it would be better to try to resolve long term issues following your separation and to begin that process rather than seeking an Occupation Order at this stage. It is something however that our client may need to consider in the future should her current living conditions become intolerable. As our client is no longer living in the property and you have now returned to fulltime employment our client will expect you to pay all household bills for the property whilst you are in occupation of the same.

Our client has cancelled direct debit payments to Sky, BT, Utility Warehouse, Southern Water and TV Licencing and you will need to make your own arrangements for payment of these accounts. Our client intends cancelling the direct debit to DVLA for the car tax for the motor vehicle and suggests that you make your own arrangements to pay the car tax.

Our client will continue to pay the mortgage on the former matrimonial home but as you are now undertaking fulltime employment we would expect you to contribute towards the same.

In relation to financial matters our client agrees it would be appropriate to try and resolve matters through Mediation. We have been instructed to make a referral to Laceys Mediation and you should hear from them soon with a view to commencing Mediation process.

Our client agrees it would be appropriate for the property at (my home) to be placed on the market for sale. Please let us have your input as to which Estate Agents you would like to approach to prepare a valuation for the property. Our client would like to be present when the Estate Agents attend at the property. If appointments are arranged for Estate Agents to attend and subsequently for viewings of the property are you prepared to vacate the property to enable our client to attend at the property shortly before the Estate Agents visit and to meet with the Agent?

So far as children arrangements are concerned a copy of the Order made on 27 October 2016 will be typed by the Court and sent to both you and our client. It is our understanding that the matter will be back before the Court on 24 November 2016 but we are waiting for confirmation of that date and the time for the Hearing from the Court.

As always if you are in any doubt regarding the terms of this letter we would urge you to seek independent legal advice.

Yours faithfully

Very quick reply and really just my own opinion rather than considered advice......

Refuse to comply with anything concerned with the sale of the house.

Focus on the children and contact only at this point.

Drop your complaint to the police - it's not going to help you in any way and makes you look bitter and angry (which of course you will be - I would be) - you don't wan't to appear that way though.

With regard to the letter overall, remember she is being advised to do many of the things stated.

I'll respond properly when I can - manic time at the moment!

Thanks Justdad, Ill wait for your bigger reply....hope things calm down for you.

All this sounds very familiar to me... the suggestions of shouting/intimidation as a means of creating a barrier to communication. Without communication it is easier to become marginalised as the non resident parent.

What happened to you Bradski?

I have had another visit by my Ex today whilst I was at work, the Tassimo has vanished, some cups and crockery.....Now i thought all this is supposed to be covered at Mediation?? With her always coming in when I'm not out (either at work, or at my supervised access 4 hours she sets up with our kids) and taking things shouldnt be allowed. And I'm not allowed to stop her coming in here as its a joint home, yet I have to pay the bills for lol

Thats an lol as I'm crying! a grown assed man! getting completed dominated by a woman and her family. How lucky am i.

And a man that has once attacked her either at her or through her solicitor......the fuse is getting low boys.....HEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP

I think you should speak to her and ask her to make a proior arrangement if she intends to let herself in to the house, and if she wants something she shouldn't just take it without talking to you first, she could be going through your private papers or anything. If you have a lockable cupboard you could put stufff in there and lock it to prevent its removal.

You could write to her solicitor and state that it's unacceptable to wait until you are out and then enter the property and remove items that are jointly owned. Request that in future if she wants to,gain entry that she lets you know first and doesn't remove anything else without discussing it with you first, otherwise you will have no choice to change the locks to protect your own property.