[Solved] False Allegations

CCTV helped you previously, if you’re forced to meet her, try and make sure it’s in a public place that is covered with security cameras.

Again at the previous child welfare hearing this was mentioned to the judge about meeting in a public place like a store such as asda, Tesco etc because that they have CCTV and it was brushed aside by the judge and the ex was asked what she wanted and to no surprise she wanted anywhere that was within a few feet from her front door where there is no CCTV.
I spoke to my lawyer and said I felt the judge was being biased as nothing was considered on my behalf and everything was arranged to suit the ex.

I feel for you... I would bring up the issue of handovers at the welfare hearing, with the hostility that exists between you and the ex, it’s not in your child’s best interests to be put in a position that could flare up... could you suggest meeting somewhere public that is covered by CCTV, a shopping centre for instance. Her failed request for a NHO illustrates the hostility that exists, but perhaps you’re hoping to avoid mention of it.

As far as making a counter NHO, I think you would need to be careful that it’s not viewed as malicious or [censored] for tat... but certainly run it past your solicitor.

Hi Mojo.

Thanks for your reply.

All I can do is suggest what you mentioned but believe me I have tried to suggest handovers, third parties, places with CCTV and it seems to fall on deaf ears, previously we had a different judge who was fair on both sides and wanted what was best for our child but for whatever reason she was replaced by another judge and since then everything has been to suit what the ex wants and contact has hardly moved forward if anything its went backwards since the ex is now breaking the orders left right and centre when she doesn't get what she wants.

[censored] for tat is exactly how I see things regarding a counter NHO and it really isn't what I want but at the same time I feel let down by the justice system and completely victimised by the ex, I truly believe it wont stop until I give up persuing contact and that's not something I want either but I will speak to my lawyer about it and see what they suggest might be the best route but I would only assume they would say something similar to what you have said that it may appear malicious.
I was told by the criminal lawyer today to fully expect both my ex and her lawyer to mention the non harassment order at the child welfare hearing in a few days even though it wasn't granted as it's not the first time they have twisted facts and things that have been said in court in order to try and gain the upper hand with attempts to gain access to personal information like gp reports etc.

... you can only hope that they will see the sense of changes to handovers, make it about what is best for your child... check out the Welfare Checklist and see if you can apply it to this issue.

Prepare yourself as much as you can and stay focused on your child, you just have to keep chipping away at it and hopefully the tide will turn in your favour.

All the best

Hi Mojo. Thanks again for the replies.

I was at the child welfare hearing today, contact was reinstated so that was a great start. The judge wasnt too happy with the ex stopping contact. Although things seemed a bit one sided last time this time around things were much fairer today. Ex is still adamant on third parties and who can and cant be there so have had to try work around things to suit until the contact centre can be set up.

hi sparky, keep on fighting. at my first hearing, court ordered ex to give me a room in their house, for contact with child every week 🙂 a just recompense when people act silly and maliciously haha.

Hi Bill. Thanks for your reply.

Keep fighting is what I plan on doing, I think the fact I refuse to just walk away and disappear from my kids life infuriates my ex. As much as I've felt like giving up I dont think I could as I would regret it and kick myself.

Using a room in your ex's house isn't ideal but if it allows you to spend time with your kid then it's better than not seeing them at all, I just hope she isn't as vindictive and manipulative as my ex is lol.
My ex wanted to babysit me and demanded contact be supervised, the court never entertained her but she tried and tried, sitting about watching me as I spent time with our kid when she was supposed to have left the vicinity, same with the contact centre at the beginning, told staff lies by saying contact was to be supervised when it wasn't, had someone from child services attempt to baby sit me, I basicly told them I didn't need their help and told social services to go elsewhere as it wasn't court ordered. Some ex's just choose to make our lives as hard as they can like mojo said it's about control.

yes, a lot to do with selfishness and control. do they honestly think they can just walk out of someones life with their kids, and their would be no consequences? kids that grow up without a dad end up with serious behaviour problems and will likely just face a life of trouble.

...Small steps, but in the right direction Sparky. Patience is you ally right now, it’s a good idea to take a couple of days off after a hearing, give yourself a chance to regroup and recharge... go and do something you enjoy.

All the best and well done.

Thanks Mojo.

It's great to see the little one again, if only I could take a couple of days off, not long though until I'm off on holiday where I'll have a couple of weeks to regroup and recharge in the sun.

...Something to look forward to! Even if you can’t physically take a couple of days out, try and disconnect emotionally, watch a movie, have a couple of beers... some time out, where you're not thinking about the case and all that goes with it.

All the best

Thanks Mojo.

Yea, I get what your saying now. It's definitely important to wind down and take ones mind off things. I try to chill out and take my mind off things, especially more so now as it has in the past had me feeling miserable so I do try to have some me time now to think about other things other than what's going on with court, contact etc.