[Solved] False Allegations

Hi there

Sorry for the delay in responding... this sounds like a dreadful state of affairs and I can understand how upsetting this is for you.

Hopefully you will be able to use the previous false allegation at the play centre to try and discredit her most recent allegations and section 38(1).

If you have a solicitor, they should be able to point out that she has history of accusing the fathers of her children. I feel for you I really do.

It’s difficult to advise you on what you can do, Scottish family law is different from here in the England. If she is breaching, she will be covered from being penalised for it by the false allegations she has made,,, courts are loathe to use the powers of punishment against parents with care of the children (mostly mothers) who breach, they see it as punishing the children too and that’s why it’s so difficult to bring these women to book for the way they behave.

I’m sorry to hear that you are considering walking away, you still have to fact the trial for the section 38(1) it would be a good idea to wait and see how it plays out... I hope for your sake that they see through her.

Best of luck

Hi Mojo.

Thanks for the reply. During the trial where I recieved the suspended sentence for the domestic abuse allegations the lawyer I had at the time tried to bring up my ex's past regarding previous accusations where she had previous men arrested, charged and even jailed for the same allegations the judge wasn't interested and told my lawyer not to go there. The lawyer I have representing me now has said they could go down the route of using the police report where they could try discredit and question the ex's integrity but also mentioned that the PF/court would look then go into my history also. They did not go into detail regarding what they meant by this but other than the previous domestic charge I dont have any other criminal convictions. What would the PF/court want to look into other than criminal history ?
I would be more than happy for the PF/court to look into my history if it would prove how manipulative and dishonest the ex is.

Regarding the ex constantly breaching the contact orders, I understand that the courts rarely ever do anything to resident parents and it's frustrating as everytime the ex doesn't get her own way she stops contact and both myself and my child lose out spending valuable time with each other and all because nothing is being done by courts to enforce the orders they set, it's ridiculous.

If your criminal history is clean, apart from the previous DV you don’t have too much to worry about, they also look to see if there is any past involvement with local authority Social Services, but to my knowledge that’s about it. Hopefully your solicitor will be able to get the court to look into her history.

I totally agree with you, in my opinion not enforcing breaches is the crux of the problem... if the courts consistently used the powers of enforcement at their disposal, many would think twice about breaching.

Hi Mojo.

Thanks for your reply again.

I think what you mentioned might be the best route for me to go down then, It may be the only option I have to expose my ex for the person she is. I just dont want this to have an impact on me seeing my child but with the way things are going by just allowing my ex to get away with these false allegations constantly I feel it might eventually have more of an impact through time by doing nothing at all.
I know the ex is only doing this for the following reasons, ¹to punish me for leaving her, ²control ³to stop me seeing my child by using false allegations in an attempt to solidify her reasons for not allowing me access and breaking court orders.

I agree one thousand percent, if the courts would enforce these orders through some form of punishment then resident parents who break orders would be less likely to break them in the first place and more non resident parents would actually be able to spend the qaulity time that they deserve to have with their children instead of living in fear that a manipulative or bitter ex will take that away from them over trivial nonsense just to punish them. I sit and wonder what kind of impact my ex's bitter selfish act will have on our child, one minute they get to see their dad and the next they dont, for a 3 year old child this must be confusing and psychologically damaging. I have often wondered what goes through my kids head and if they think that daddy doesn't care or has abandoned them when my ex refuses contact and it upsets me to think about at times.

You’re right on both counts, at some point you have to stand up and challenge her behaviour, or accept that it will always be that way... her behaviour is a method of control and possibly narcissistic, as she has employed the same tactics with all the other fathers too.

The courts do have adequate powers, from community service right through to changing who the child lives with... personally I feel that transferral of residence, suspended unless the order is breached would be the most effective way to bring these parents into line.

Hopefully you can get this sorted sooner rather than later, although I suspect you will always have problems in your dealings with her, due to the type of person she is. Children are far more resilient than we give them credit for, so hang in there.

All the best

Hi Mojo.

Sorry I haven't been on lately to reply, I've been busy and haven't been online in the last couple of weeks.

The trial was today, I sent you a PM to let you know how things went. I was advised by my lawyer not to go down the route of attacking my ex partners character in court as the PF would have used the previous domestic conviction to further tarnish me in front of the judge at trial and would have used that to their full advantage making things look worse than it was since it was a breach of the peace.

yes thats true. in my court process, barrister always tells me, we are not going to tell the court that ex is a bad mother. apparently its frowned upon. it is unfair when babies are being used as weapons, and you have to try and be polite about it. same thing when dealing with cafcass, bad-mouthing the ex is a big no no.

Not quite what you wanted, it’s frustrating that your hands were tied because of the beach of the peace case against you and the previous conviction.

What’s your next step?

Not quite what you wanted, it’s frustrating that your hands were tied because of the beach of the peace case against you and the previous conviction.

What’s your next step?

I have to attend another child welfare hearing in a few days time so I'm hoping that it doesn't have much of an impact on that, the lawyer did say it really should have any real impact but then again he specialises in criminal law not family.
Obviously things didn't go as I would have liked but the ex was also going for a non harassment order and it was rejected so I guess that's always a plus as it would have just been tool for her to use against me and a another hurdle to go through with the family court if she succeeded.
I guess my next step at the moment is to just try and give the ex a wide berth and stay well clear although the court hasn't made that easy because of contact arrangements, the next step is a contact centre for pick up and drop off and I'll be making sure to have someone there as a witness from now on and hopefully she will eventually trip herself up somewhere down the line and expose herself for the manipulation and lies I've had to endure for the last couple of years.

I’m not sure about Scotland, but here I think its possible to make a civil application for a Non Molestation Order, she may have asked for it in the criminal proceedings, but if it’s possible to bring a civil case for NMO in Scotland, it might be something to be aware of.

It’s absolutely crucial that you make every effort to avoid her so I think making arrangements for handovers through a third party is essential... a witness with you at all times is a good idea. CCTV helped you previously, if you’re forced to meet her, try and make sure it’s in a public place that is covered with security cameras.

Best of luck

Hi Mojo.

It may be the the same in Scotland, I've not looked into it or spoken to the family lawyer to ask more about it but I would assume the ex was expecting to be granted a non harassment order before things went back to court for contact which is in a few days. If that is the case with a NHO is it possible for myself to apply for one against my ex, at least that way I could go about my business seeing my child without constant fear of being victimised and arrested constantly with lies and here say.
It seems like the family courts dont take it seriously either where in the past I've made it clear I do not want to be anywhere near the ex as she is trying to have me arrested through false allegations. In order to see my daughter I had to pick her up from the ex's house. I have tried using third parties and again the judge ordered that only one person a family member could be used as a third party even though this wasnt possible as people work, have kids or other things going on in their life etc and cant just drop everything to suit me or my ex. The order left me in a situation where I had no other option but to essentially break the order and use someone else i.e a friend as a third party to return my daughter which the ex wasnt happy with so she ceased contact with my child.
In all honesty it just feels like it's one thing after another with my ex and I know she is only doing what shes doing to punish me but trying to prove that to lawyers and judges seems to be a lot more difficult than I first thought.