[Solved] Extortion & Defamation + Child Services involved

My soon-to-be ex-wife said she wanted the divorce this past February and so far has done nothing about it. She's gone to social services and defamed me with verbal violence and accusing me of alcoholism. She thought social services would provide her with housing and sponsor her to stay in the UK (she's on a Residence Card through me, that she would lose once the divorce has been signed).

She doesn't work, doesn't contribute to household expenses and yet, as the primary carer, she's in a position of advantage. If I ask for divorce, just because my son is 23 months old, nothing guarantees a judge will rule in my favor should she get deported. I'm against the wall. Despite all the accusations, she continues to live under the roof of the house that I pay for.

As she's mentally unstable, it seems the tables are turning and she's now predicting child services (who opened a Child in Need case) are on my side. She claims that somehow she found a free family law solicitor and an immigration one, both working for free for her. Child services ordered us to move separately, and now she's saying her lawyers are giving me two choices:

1-Sign "a paper" - I presume a Child Arrangement Order allowing her to keep my son 5 days a week so she can get benefits, a bigger child maintenance check from me, and 20 hours free day care.
2-If option 1 doesn't work, she would go to a refuge with my son.

This won't be a Child Arrangements Order, it's probably an agreement drawn up by her solicitor and unless it is rubber stamped in court, sent a legally binding document.

The only reason that she would be placed in a refuge is if there has been a history of domestic violence. If she has made allegations to this effect she would be assisted to leave the home with the child for their protection. If she has made any such allegations she may be entitled to legal aid, this may be why she has free legal assistance.

My only option is whatever happens, to represent myself against her team of professional lawyers. I can't afford a solicitor because for the past years I've been paying for absolutely everything and I've got no substantial services. I feel my wife is mentally unstable, and even though I want my son to be close to both of us, I fear the two options above and don't know how to get through this. Would option 2 classify as child abduction?

Moving into a refuge doesn't constitute child abduction.

To this point, my wife hides everything from me, including where her new-found-job is and how much she will earn, I'm still waiting for child services to get back to me in terms of what's the reach of their decisions from a legal point of view and whether they can rule my son has to live with me. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

If Social Services deem that the child isn't safe with the mother they can seek an order from the court for the child to be removed and placed with the other parent, or into care if they felt this was better for the child. Generally they prefer not to move children unless there is a serious risk of harm.

Alex

We have many members that have represented themselves with much success, there's lots of info in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section that you may find useful and we will do what we can to advise you if you have any specific questions.

All the best

Thanks Mojo, appreciate your response. I'm back after a long silence of trying to sort things out. This morning I filed for divorce and I had started working with a solicitor for the child arrangement order. My wife must have smelled something because I got a call from Children Services when I'm about to get home telling me that my wife due to "escalating violence" (????) decided to go to a women's shelter with my son and I don't have the right to know where they are until they contact me.

I've of course spoken with lawyers and got a roadmap for the coming days. The only thing is that out of all her false accusations, she's holding from this alleged abuse. All NGOs, Social Services etc seem to be paying attention to this. I'm surprised at how someone can accuse somebody of something and for this to be taken for granted without running any further checks. I presented social services with letters from my GP, over 30 reference letters from ex-girlfriends, headmasters, bosses, etc and they don't care about anything.

Any ideas?

The problem is that they take time to run further checks, if they didn't do this, then if something went wrong, then they'd get blamed very quickly. Unfortunately, this means that women take advantage of this (and make it far more difficult for women in genuine danger to be believed).

All NGOs, Social Services etc seem to be paying attention to this. I'm surprised at how someone can accuse somebody of something and for this to be taken for granted without running any further checks. I presented social services with letters from my GP, over 30 reference letters from ex-girlfriends, headmasters, bosses, etc and they don't care about anything.

actd is right. Agencies like CAFCASS and social services are professionals doing a job, following a script. They do what they do not necessarily because they believe either party, but because that's what their script book tells them to do. Be nice to them, they can be your best friend.