[Solved] Ex wife wants to change sons surname

I would reconsider doing that. You can’t use it in court and it is more likely to be used against you.
If communication is that bad, have a third party there at handovers and keep as much as possible to email/letter.

what were you hoping to capture on the recording? The alternative is to openly record the meetings, so she is aware of it - that way you are covered for recording it, and the fact that you are recording means she is more likely to behave reasonably.

what were you hoping to capture on the recording? The alternative is to openly record the meetings, so she is aware of it - that way you are covered for recording it, and the fact that you are recording means she is more likely to behave reasonably.

I record so i have proof in case she lies.

In the past she has falsely accused me of being aggressive duribg handovers. These lies resulted in the child arrangement process being dragged out. It was her tactic.

I will only reveal the recordings to defend myself if she lies. Yes, the court may think bad of me but will pale in comparison to her lying in court.

Not happy about it. Wish i never had to record. But i feel i have no choice. With proof i at least nip her lies in the bud quickly.

I really, really wouldn’t reveal concealed recordings in court. They aren’t considered proof - they can be set up, they can be doctored. I’d only do it if you have proper legal advice and they feel it’s appropriate.

If you really cannot trust her to act reasonably then don’t be alone with her. Have a third party there. Do a handover where there is CCTV (but bear in mind some places only hold tapes for 30 days).

I really, really wouldn’t reveal concealed recordings in court. They aren’t considered proof - they can be set up, they can be doctored. I’d only do it if you have proper legal advice and they feel it’s appropriate.

If you really cannot trust her to act reasonably then don’t be alone with her. Have a third party there. Do a handover where there is CCTV (but bear in mind some places only hold tapes for 30 days).

In my experience the court does accept recordings. Prior to seperating my ex instigated an argument with me and, to my surprise, never shouted or screamed back. Little did i know she was recording.

She went to use that recording with great success at the child arrangement hearings.

So if they will accept for that, they should accept for me. Especially if it could prove my innocence and if finding me wrongly guilty means my son losing meaninful contact.

My ex will lie and create things like "during handover he grabbed me by the throat"

I wouldn’t trust that. Western Society in general is biased, and by extension, so are the courts.

Generally speaking, a court in the Western Hemisphere is more lenient with women than they are with men, there are multiple studies on this, ie,
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1348/135532504X15277

You need to know the rules of the game if you’re going to win.

My ex has been so bitter, irrational and damaging to me and ultimately the children, that I expect that a name change may come. I have thought about it and it does not alter that they are mine and that I have a good relationship with them - so I am relaxed about the situation. I know not everyone will think the same.

What puzzles me is that 2 1/2 years after divorce, with so much bile being thrown at me, that she continues to use my surname. I do not understand why she has not changed it - anyone with some insight?

I wouldn’t trust that. Western Society in general is biased, and by extension, so are the courts.

Generally speaking, a court in the Western Hemisphere is more lenient with women than they are with men, there are multiple studies on this, ie,
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1348/135532504X15277

You need to know the rules of the game if you’re going to win.

So if my ex makes a serious allegation that could affect my contact with son and i have evidence that would prove, beyond reasonable doubt, she lied, the court would ignore it and chastise me?

I will take the risk and keep recording.

My ex is too random and will do and say anything.

At the least the police will consider it.

Yes that has happened, which is why I’ve suggested not allowing yourself to be in such a position in the first place.

Not only do you have the problem of bias, you also already have history of DV so you need to be extra careful.