[Solved] Ex wife wants to change sons surname

Highly unlikely that the court would remove your name. I wouldn’t worry about that at all.

Your ex would need to prove that it’s in the child’s best interests to have her name added. I have only known it happening in 2 cases - in both cases child had mum’s name and was alienating child from dad.

In terms of order - there are no rules. Whatever sounds best really. You might find some people miss off the first name mistaking it for a middle name, you might find people only use the first half. I have a DB surname and both have happened to me.

Your ex would need to prove that it’s in the child’s best interests to have her name added. I have only known it happening in 2 cases - in both cases child had mum’s name and was alienating child from dad.

My ex is claiming our son will have an identity crisis unless her surname is included. She says he will wonder why her surname is different to his.

If she was the non-resisdent parent i would understand her concerns but i dont see her logic.

Also if it goes to court will CAFCAS be involved.

I know my ex partners tactic. She will use the DV against me. Although all of this were addressed in the child arrangement hearing, i attended all the courses they wanted me to and now I see my son regulary. Also it was 4 years ago. However, she said she will use the DV to justify not attending mediation. Which is odd since handovers occur between me and her, so she has no issue being in my presence.

My biggest fear is that she will apply for a surname change and use the opportunity to bring up the past again and try and restrict my contact. She was bitterly disappointed with the outcome of the final hearing.

It is extremely unlikely an application to change your son's name would be successful. The only time I have seen this happen is where the father had chosen not to be part of his child's life and gave full permission for the change.

In terms of double barrelling a name, that would be down to the judge to decide.

As stepmum says, often people will only use half of a DB name. I have a DB and until I was 16 when my NI card arrived, I only ever used the latter half.

The DV has already been dealt with satisfactorily according to the court. If the court are happy with direct unsupervised contact, they’re not going to take your name (actually your sons name) from him.

As for an identity crisis - he hasn’t had one so far. He’s presumably at school with children who have their dads names but live with their mum, with their mums name, with double barrelled names etc etc. He lives with his mum and therefore has a strong link to her already.

If you end up in court and get a forward thinking judge you may end up with it double barrelled but what she’s put forward doesn’t sound like a reasonable argument to me. You may decide to agree to the DB name in order to avoid court but you don’t have to.

I have children that have my ex husband’s name (their dads name). It does make me sad that they don’t also share my name but my feeling is that this is about them and if they want to include my name when they’re 16 they can do it themselves.

Do you know if Cafcass get involved in these type of disputes?

Not the one I mentioned other than the bog standard safeguarding checks at the start because it was an application for contact and specific issue.

Not the one I mentioned other than the bog standard safeguarding checks at the start because it was an application for contact and specific issue.

So they will do safe guarding checks for "name changing" issues?

Seems strange. I would understand if it was a contact issue but that has been resolved.

This is what im worried about. Cafcass getting involved and my ex bringing up the past causing them to turn this into something else not related to the name. You would hope they see the matter was resolved already in court and by cafcass but a different cafcass officer might make an issue.

I doubt it will have any bearing. You're having contact, the other stuff is historic and has no relation to what the mother will be asking the court to do.

As far as I know, CAFCASS do initial checks for every single application.

Presumably CAFCASS were involved last time and produced a report that included the historical DV. You’ve been to a perpetrators course, you’ve proven you’re safe around your child, you’ve been having direct contact for a while. In any case, that isn’t her argument. Adding her name to yours doesn’t protect the child from DV.

Worst case you’ll end up with it double barrelled. You can agree to that now or you can ask the court to decide. NRPs names are only removed in the most serious of cases - usually where there is zero contact and the child having any kind of link to you could be seen as detrimental (ie father is a murderer or rapist).

In view of the nature of her application, unless she tries to vary the order or pull another similar silly stunt, Cafcass are extremely likely to say that there is no role for them in a name change application.