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Hi , need some advice ! My ex wife and I have joint custody of my 13 yr old son. He lives with his mum in Devon and I live in Derbyshire .
She moved down there with her new partner last year and after a few minor incidents she suddenly yesterday decided she no longer wants my son and is dropping him off with me over the bank holiday weekend ! My wife and I are shocked at the sudden decision and her attitude and lack of caring towards my son .
My question to you is -
Can she just decide to change her mind and turf my son out ?
She says she will not send any of his clothes with him nor any of his personal belongings that teenagers have such as games consoles etc . My worry is that after I have got him into a school registered him with dental / doctors etc and got him into a loving caring stable home will she decide she wants him back ? Do I need anything in writing or should I seek legal advice to stop her taking him back again ?
Thanks
Phil
Hi and welcome.
This is tricky - if you ask for something in writing, she may have second thoughts and take him back again. However, keep all texts, emails, correspondence, and transcribe any conversations.
My personal view on this is that since you have joint custody, you take him in and let him settle, and do nothing more for a few month. If your ex then changes her mind, then you can refuse and go to court, quoting as much evidence as possible, plus you son (who presumably wants to live with you) will be at an age where his views will hold some weight with the court.
Hi Phil
How distressing for your son... As you have joint custody then you have shared responsibility, but major change like a change of residence shouldn't be done in anger as a knee [censored] reaction!
As for refusing to send him with any belongings, that is just heartless and cruel. Perhaps you could contact Social Services and tell them what has happened and ask them to liaise with her to return his belongings to him so that he can settle more comfortably in his new home.
At 13 your sons wishes will carry weight and if she did try and take him back in the future you are within your rights to refuse this. If you wanted to make it legal you would have to apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order that specifies he is resident solely with you.
Because of the way she has behaved you may not have to attend mediation before applying for an order, as mediation is now compulsory before applications to,court are accepted. If you wanted to take it further legally it might be worth having a word with a mediator to see where you stand.
Some solicitors give a free initial consultation, it might be a good idea to go along and get some advice, a simple solicitors letter might suffice and if you didn't want to involve social services as far as his belongings are concerned, this could form part of the letter....keeping things that belong to him is theft.
Good luck.
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