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Morning All.
I slowly introduced my son to my new partner. We've been together for about 15 months now. I've been separated from son's mother for 2.5 years. She left me whilst I was at work in the middle of an ocean.
I get home from work (been away for 3 months). I start seeing my son as per a mediation agreement, everything is going fine. Until I mention to his Mother that I'll be giving up my flat at the end of the tenancy and moving in with my partner. Less than 20 minutes later I get a text message saying that "actually son doesn't want to spend time with you". After which, when I went to pick him up he was now crying instead of running to me shouting "Daddy" like previously. She then reduces contact.
I filled in C100 forms as this isn't the first time she has reduced contact based on her hissy fits, and they are served. I am representing myself as I know if I don't she'd waste time and money etc. She's miraculously gotten money to get herself a solicitor who has sent me a letter saying that unless she knows my partners address she will not allow overnight contact to occur there. After she received the court papers I started getting 1 overnight per week again, although still less time overall in accordance with the mediation agreement.
My Partner isn't overly keen on her knowing the address, Ex-Wife has admitted previously driving past my home and seeing whose car was parked outside. Personally if that's all it is I'm not overly fussed.
I've spoken to CAFCASS and asked them to include my partner in their safeguarding checks for court, they've told me to wait for my interview next week / week after.
I guess now all I can do is email her solicitor and say:
I'm more than willing to provide partner's address, and will happily do it after the safeguarding checks have been completed (my partner is a midwife and has no criminal record at all!). I have parental responsibility and am therefore not required to consult with the other parent on the day to day care when I have my son. I actually get very little information from his Mother on this too, and unless it is to be a flow of information both ways, I'm not willing to engage in it. Therefore any drop in contact is another violation of the mediation agreement.
Any similar experiences? Any thoughts?
Many Thanks all
In respect of the address, if your son is staying with you there, then the court will deem you unreasonable for not providing the address to the mother. Imagine if you didn't know where your son lived with his mother? The court would deem that unreasonable also.
Unless the mother raises safeguarding issues against you or your partner, then there is no reason for your new partner to undergo checks whether she has volunteered to or not.
Personally, I would focus on the hearing and putting a Position Statement together with a bit of background, why the arrangements broke down and what you would like the court to do. Keep it brief, one to two pages of A4, size 12 font, 1.5 line spacing. You can submit any evidence you have when the court give you permission to do so.
Hello Yoda
Many Thanks for the reply. I agree there is no reason for not giving her the address. My partner is just uncomfortable with my ex-wife previously driving past my home to see who is there etc. She has also turned around in traffic to follow us too.
Ex wife has also previously taken son away for a weekend (and dropped my contact with him) and refused to say where she was going.
I have text messages and emails printed out ready for the hearing. All point to contact being dropped immediately after ex-wife was told that I would be moving in with my partner.
When I sent in the C100 form I typed up details of previous contact arrangements, why I believe they worked well and then what was eventually offered in Mediation after they were dropped.
Ex-wife as not raised any safeguarding issues as far as I am aware.
Thanks again
Your situation sounds horrible and I sympathise with you. I have a six year old and went through a similar experience myself. My ex-wife stopped me having contact with my daughter when she found out that I was getting married again and I haven't seen my little girl since last October. Even before this, contact was very hit and miss despite the fact I have had a contact order for the last two years. My ex makes the excuse that my daughter doesn't want to see me as she can't cope with me being in a new family and doesn't want to see my new wife. I have already spent a lot of money going through the family law court/ mediation, etc and can't afford to go through that again. I have been reduced to sending cards to my daughter and rarely receive any communication from my ex about how my daughter is doing. She even prevents my parents from seeing her even though they live in Devon and have to travel 250 miles to see her. I have never met a more heartless, spiteful, manipulative person in my whole life but evidently there are many more out there!
Seems to be the way it goes, spite and manipulation etc,
You can go through court for a lower cost than you think if you self-represent.
For me, the spite and manipulation is something that adds to the necessity of being in the lives of my children.
My thoughts are that they will turn out just like their mother if I am not there to instill values and morals into them as well as love them unconditionally,
With 18month old twins, I do of course realise I have the best part of fifteen years of grief on my hands dealing with the ex. The children are worth that pain and more.
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