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Looking for a bit of initial advice. My ex is German and has just told me that she wants to move from the UK back to her home town later this year where she has been offered a job and is purchasing a house. Our daughter is 15 and we currently share custody with her time split 50:50 between us. She has proposed two solutions – either she stay living here with me during school term time and she will pay for flights to visit her in Germany during school holidays, or she can move with her and we split the cost of a private British school where she can finish her GCSEs and do A Levels which will cost me about £4,500 per annum and she will pay for flights for my daughter to see me in the holidays.
I’m really unhappy about both proposed solutions as I think the separation time from both parents is too long, and I want the current arrangement in the UK to continue. I don’t want to pay private school fees either when she is attending a good state school here. Have I got any legal options to force the situation to stay as it currently is, or will I have to compromise to one or the other proposal? Also, I’m guessing that if she stays with me I can get maintenance as she’d spend c. two thirds of her time with me.
Thanks.
Hi there
Can I ask what your daughter wants to do? I think this is pivotal really, as at 15, if any kind of court action was taken her wishes would figure heavily.
If you took this to court you could only apply to stop your ex removing your child, you couldn't stop you're ex from leaving. To be honest, I think she is being fair and is covering all options with her proposals.
If your daughter remained here with you, youwould be entitled to claim child benefit, tax credits and child maintenance from the mother.
When I was a child my father worked abroad and we would go months with only letters, I missed him but it didn't effect the close bond we always had. These days there's Skype and FaceTime, emails etc so keeping in touch is much easier.
Thanks for the reply. My problem with my ex’s proposal is that it’s forcing me to accept a situation that I’m not happy with. I suspect that my daughter would be happy to move with my ex as she has a lot of family there, However, I am not happy about stumping up for school fees. Can my ex force my hand by saying she’s moving and make me accept one scenario or the other, i.e. if I refuse to pay school fees then I will have no choice but to accept that I will have to have my daughter in term times and not see her in the school holidays? I just can’t see that it’s fair that she is making a move that suits her and I’ve got to change existing arrangements that have worked for a number of years which were mutually agreed in the past.
difficult to put your feelings aside i know....but....what does your daughter want?
forget money and all the school stuff for now and ask yourself what your daughter wants....becuase as Mojo says she's old enough to be listened to by the courts if you go that route.
she may have lots of friends here and obviously her exams will be coming up over the year or two.....it may be too much change for her but surely at her age she has an opinion that should be considered too?
not trying to be argumentative just offering a different perspective.
I can't help thinking your ex-wife is being pretty reasonable Roy Tilly. If you refused I don't suppose you could be forced to pay for a private school in Germany, but I suspect the CM bill might come to more than £4500, so you would not gain much if that happened. If your daughter stayed with you then you could get CB and CM, so you would not be so badly off and would see her a lot.
Your daughter is almost an adult now and will understand the issues, her choice is probably the most important thing.
O
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