Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Last October I applied for me and my ex partner to attend Mediation which I had to pay for as I work full time, which she refused so it went straight to court and I got my kids every other weekend which we both agreed.
The reasons why its every other weekend is due to my partner has her child one weekend and then I have my children
Myself and partner both work
So my ex all the sudden wants to go back to Mediation as she wants me to have my kids for tea time a week and pick them up for 5.30 and drop them off again no later than 8pm, considering I don't finish work till 5pm and I don't drive they live 20 minutes away from me if my partner drives me there as I have to reply on my partner to collect them on the weekend that I have them and drop them off.
If I did get the bus to their house then I would not get there until at least 6.30 and then getting busses back to my place which we could get there about 8pm and I still not got them their tea ready and then I have to take them home which will be like 10pm which they will have school in the morning
But my partner is 6 months pregnant and is having trouble with this pregnancy so she said she not doing the pick up and drop off in the week as she finishes work at 5pm and also has to get her child from afternoon club which closes at 6pm. My ex partner does not work at all and I feel like she does not understand work life balance and home life balance.
I don't have the funds for taxi every week or to get a bus as it will be 3 busses to their house as I am finically struggling with bills to the point we haven't gotten a food shop in the last 2 months we just been living off what we got in or just grabbing bread.
I am going to explain to the Mediator I don't mind having them for tea but my ex will have to do the drop off and pick up but she also does not drive.
Also I don't get legal aid as I am full time but like I said I do not have any money to pay for Mediation and then it will go back to court and if the court approves of this arrangement then I am physically not able to oblige to the new ruling as its not possible to be able to get them without it crippling me finically
hi,
with your current order, you can agree additional time with ex, without going to court or using mediators.
the way the system works, your ex can't force you to have kids more, and courts can not make you, if your not available. you can inform your ex that you can not do more as your partner is pregnant. if she not happy, she can apply to mediation or court.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.