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Hi
I'm afraid I am not a dad, my boyfriend is however and isn't as tech savvy so I thought I'd come on here for some advice on our current situation.
He has 13 yr old twin daughters with his ex GF. They split when the kids were 6, this was as amicable as it will ever be, no affairs, no violence, no nasty, just wasn't working anymore so she ended the relationship and moved out. They lived locally for a while until she met someone new, then decided to move 1.5 hrs away. Before the move my BF saw the kids most weekends and during the week also. After the move this went to every other weekend on her terms, they meet half way to swap over.
However, everything has now (possibly) changed. His ex got married in August and went on honeymoon to an Outer Hebridian island called Tiree. On Monday, one of the daughters calls (with ex in the back ground prompting) to tell us that there's a possibility that they may move to this island after Christmas if her partner gets a job there. Job includes a house and all associated bills (partner currently works p/t, ex doesn't work at all, they also have a 2yr old son together). This is a 15 hour drive away from where we live on the south coast. The solution to seeing the kids is that they fly down once a month to see us for a weekend, we are welcome to go and stay there for a holiday if we wish. Daughter who calls is excited, she is also autistic and is struggling with this atm. She is about to start at a new school after not going to school for months and this new school is small and is for children who have problems so ideal for her. The other daughter, who has no issues at all, is very upset at leaving everyone. It will be confirmed if they are actually going at the end of this month if partner accepts the salary he is offered.
BF and all his family live locally. The ex's parents apparently are moving up with them.
Is there ANYTHING my BF can do? He's obviously very upset, suspects the monthly visits are unlikely to happen often due to the cost of transport. He loves his daughters very much and hates being so far away from them. It's going to be a very long month waiting to find out if we effectively lose them next year so I want to help him as much as I can.
TIA π
Hi,
Yes, there is. You can apply for a child arrangements order (CAO) to formalise the arrangements of how much you see the kids, and/or a prohibited steps order (PSO) to stop the ex-partner moving that distance away.
You'll need to have at least attempted mediation first (or attended a MIAM meeting where they assess you), so I recommend you get onto that ASAP.
Read this:
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/46418-c100-child-arrangement-order-guide
AND this:
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/flapp/internalrelocation.html
You can apply for the PSO and CAO on the same form. It's worth having a chat to a solicitor about it, many of them will give you 30 mins free initial advice.
In the event that you issue proceedings, it's likely CAFCASS will be involved, and they will ascertain the wishes and feelings of the children. At age 13, these will have a lot of weight (for the non-autistic child, anyway). The fact you are taking the kids away from their support network is a big deal as well.
There are people on here who have a lot of experience of both, so can advise you. I'd urge you to take action ASAP though, and don't let the ex- mess you about as a way of 'running the clock down'.
There's not a lot of time and I don't think mediation is appropriate because of that. I would suggest that you go ahead and apply for an urgent Prohibited Steps Order to try and prevent the relocation, at the very least it may delay it.
At 13 your children's wishes and feelings will be taken account of, and also the fact that one of the children has special needs and has a place at a very good school that will help her, should also hold weight... you would at the least want the court to explore whether she can expect the same level of support on a remote Hebridean island.... I doubt it.
As the above poster has urged, act quickly. There are no guarantees, it I believe your partner does have a case.
Best of luck
Thanks both of you, that's great. I will have a read of those links. It's just dawned on me, I have a friend who's a paralegal in family law specialising in dealing with children so I've just messaged her to see if we can book in for a free half hour with her. She dealt with my divorce so I know she's good.
The last thing I want to do is upset the kids but I can't have my BF feeling like this, he adores those girls and it would break him if she didn't do a month visit cos she can't afford the flight.
Thanks guys π
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