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Ex threstening to m...
 
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[Solved] Ex threstening to move away with son!

 
(@dadtojoe)
Trusted Member Registered

Hi,

After a long period of court hearings we have a contact order in place now. Recently though if there has been a slight disagreement between us my ex has threatened to move away with my son ( she has parents living in another part of the UK). Where do I stand regarding this matter as the distance involved would be in excess of 200 miles away and causing me great concern! Thanks, Paul.

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Topic starter Posted : 21/05/2014 4:08 pm
(@Danno)
Active Member Registered

Hi DadtoJo

I coincidently posted a topic with the same title a few hours ago. I can't comment on your circumstances really but you mind find some useful information that thread.

There's not much you can do to stop any move from the looks of it but she will still have to support appropriate access to your child.

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Posted : 21/05/2014 4:58 pm
 Dec
(@Dec)
Reputable Member Registered

Yes there is little you can do, all you can do is try and come to some sort of arrangement regarding contact. All I would say is if I had to travel 200 miles to see my child every weekend then I would, I would find a way, if possible I would also move there too. Maybe you could consider options like having him during school holidays etc?

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Posted : 21/05/2014 8:36 pm
(@Nannyjane)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi Paul

It's a tough one and although she uses the threat of moving in an effort to control the situation, the fact that she would move to be close to her parents would probably work in her favour.
You could do as Danno has done and apply for an urgent application called a Prohibited Steps Order but its no guarantee that it would stop her, it would delay the inevitable, unless you could prove she is moving to separate you from your son out of spite, then you may have a better chance....courts are loathe to interfere when the resident parent wants to move out of an area.

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Posted : 21/05/2014 9:38 pm
(@dadtojoe)
Trusted Member Registered

Hi DadtoJo

I coincidently posted a topic with the same title a few hours ago. I can't comment on your circumstances really but you mind find some useful information that thread.

There's not much you can do to stop any move from the looks of it but she will still have to support appropriate access to your child.

Hi mate,

Sorry I just put the post on without looking at yours beforehand. My son is only 4 so not sure whether he would have his views taken into account. My ex would only be moving to be closer to her own parents so I was wondering whether a court would perhaps question if it was in my sons best interests to have more contact with his maternal grandparents at the expense of time with his father? I also have a daughter from a previous marriage so he would be losing contact with his sister too.
I know you have had a couple of gently reassuring messages which are all in good faith, but if you feel the same as I do then the reality is that it is a very difficult situation to deal with.
If you have a contact order in place like me then it is my understanding that this cant be easily changed, so the regularity of contact remains the same. My court order has a stipulation regarding the equal sharing of transportation, so his mum will drop him to me, and then I drop him back,etc. My ex will need to factor in a very long (and unpleasant) journey every week to maintain my contact rights, is this the same situation with you?

Paul

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Topic starter Posted : 22/05/2014 3:19 am
(@Nannyjane)
Illustrious Member Registered

...I understand how you feel and you are right that as you have a contact order it's a legally binding document. I don't think Danno had a contact order in place, he applied for a PSO when his ex told him she was relocating.

Perhaps you should get a solicitor to write to your ex, or write yourself, to remind her that the contact order is legally binding and should she not adhere to the content of the order with regard to the times of contact and equal sharing of transportation, then she would be in breach of the order, which you would act on without hesitation by seeking enforcement through the courts. Reference her threats to move away and the impact all this travelling would have on your son if she did so.

It might just make her think about the consequences of her actions and indeed her threats.

Alternatively you could try a session or two of mediation to try and resolve this, it's her way of trying to control you, it's unacceptable and leaves you feeling unsettled at a time when you should be enjoying your time with your child.

Of course this might make her dig her heels in and she could take it back to court herself and ask for a variation of contact citing the need for her to be close to her family....so be careful.

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Posted : 22/05/2014 1:31 pm
(@Danno)
Active Member Registered

Hey Paul - apologies for slow response.

My situation is slightly different to yours at this stage in that I have never had a contact order in place.

We've managed the contact amicably for 9 years until now, but even this long length of stability does not seem to add any weight to my argument. So when i go to court it looks like I will have to negotiate a contact deal, and yes, this will involve some sharing of the travelling given the distance.
I have a 1yr old son with my wife so there'll be less contact for him and his brother (similar to your situation), but at this stage i've no idea how much weight this will carry.

It's hard to know what to say at this point Paul, feeling quite beaten about it all at the moment as it sounds like you are. And this is the reality of it, no matter what anyone says to it won't take this feeling away. You just have to keep going and at some point you'll come out the other side.

There is lots of very good information and support to be had on this site though, and Nannyjane has provided some solid info for you there. I guess no matter what your circumstance you don't have to go through it alone. You'll get there.

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Posted : 23/05/2014 3:53 pm
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