[Solved] Ex Threats

Also we believe my ex has mental health issues, she has admitted anxiety in court, anxiety to me personally. The school have spoken to me about her anxiety and she does actually show signs of bipolar, is there a way I can get this looked into?

Hi there

If you do nothing about her threat to move and she carries through with it, it will be difficult to get her returned to be honest. Even prior to a move, its quite difficult to get a court to stop it (even one that so far away) when it's within the jurisdiction. They can't be seen to control someone's free movement within the country, and the only reason that they would make an order stopping it, would be if it can be proved to be malicious, or the move hasn't been prepared for, with appropriate accommodation, school.

It's true she would be in breach of the existing order if she moved, but once the move has taken place, unless the child is at serious risk, the court would be reluctant to order a return and would be more likely to vary the existing order and make new contact arrangements to accommodate extra travelling time... usually meaning that it would happen less frequently, but possibly with more time awarded during school holdiays... just my opinion.

As far as the passport issue, once she doesn't hand it over at the ordered time, you can make an urgent application to court for an urgent Specific Issue Order to have it handed over, it it will cost the application fee of £215 plus any solicitors feees of you use one.

... as far as the anxiety issues, it would be difficult to get that looked at unless she puts the child seriously at risk.

Thanks for your advice, I think it was you who has helped me in the past. In your opinion would you focus your resources into prohibiting the move completely and make the first move or focus on getting the best possible deal out of the situation should it arrise? I feel like if that's what she wanted to do it would be inevitable. We don't have much funding our end for another extensive court battle.

In regards to the passport, when I do a specific issue order can I request compensation for the fee from the ex?

It's difficult for me to give explicit advice, as you know predicting outcomes is impossible, as there's very little consistency between different courts/judges.

If it were me and I felt the move was being done maliciously, I would try and prevent the move rather than leave it to chance. Once she moves she has the upper hand, if you wanted to return to court for enforcement of the order, or a variation, you would have to use the mediation services and court where she lives, hence the burden of travelling falls on you.

For instance, once she moved, if she refused to help with the travelling, such as meeting you half way on the journey for handover, or doing one leg each. As it hadn't been sorted out before the move, she would be able to dictate terms more easily.

If you took it to court now as a Prohibited Steps Order, you could do it in conjunction with the SIO for the passport, the fee would still only be £215 for both applications. As you are doing an urgent application for the SIO, mediation doesn't need to take place first. You could also argue that the PSO needs to be urgent as the threat to move has been made and as she hasn't given dates, this could happen at any time.

For the PSO you would want to know what accommodation has been arranged, what school she would be moved to and if she has a place sorted out. If she is moving away from wider family and support networks, you would make that point strongly, in connection with her anxiety issues and your concern that she would find it hard without any support back up. You would highlight the current contact schedule and how she intends to resolve that when she has moved. What arrangements she will put in place to facilitate contact, as far as assisting with travel for handovers etc and her opinion of how the distance may effect your child's relationship with you and the rest of her family. Also the fact that your child is receiving extra help from her school to help her cope with anxiety/mental health issues, the move wouldn't be in her best interests at this time. This is the case you would build.

As far as compensation for the fee, you can ask for it, if you can show that you've tried other ways to,get the passport from her, the court may well grant wasted costs, it's a bit of a grey area to be honest, but worth a try.

Thanks Mojo,

Your advice is priceless and makes perfect sense, I will keep this thread updated on how I get on with these issues.

You could try writing to her formally and making a request for the passport to be given on time, otherwise you have the forms ready to return to court as an urgent matter. If that happens you should also say that you would also be asking for a wasted costs order to cover your costs in this matter.

In the same letter you can also voice your concerns about the move and the fact that she will be in breach of the order. Ask for information about the date of the move and what arrangements she has made as far as the prospective accommodation and a school place is concerned, and what extra support is arranged for your child, due to her current anxiety issues.

Given your daughters vulnerability, state that you do not think the move would be in your child's best interests as moving is stressful and would only increase her anxiety. You also want to know what arrangements she intends to put in place that will facilitate continued contact and what proposals she is offering concerning how the travelling time might be shared between you both.

If she sees that you are ready to take action, and a return to court might cost her, she might decide to play ball.

Also you would have a copy of the letter, to show the court that you had tried to resolve the issues before making the application... court should always be a last resort.

All the best

Hi,

Thanks for further advice,

I will write the letter as you suggested but I think I would need to attach it to an email as I chose to make my address confidential the last time we went to court due to the horrific things my ex is capable of.

I do have another question though, the school told me she would need to request a school transfer and have promised to inform me once this is submitted. In your opinion do you think it would be best to wait until this is submitted or until our family holiday is a bit closer or do you think it would be best to nip it in the bud asap. Do you think the courts may be able to install arrangements in the event of a potential move or would they say to come back when it is actually happening? But like you said she has not put dates on anything and she is more than capable of irrational quick decisions.