[Solved] Ex Threating to restrict access

The problem you have is that whatever your rights, if you want to enforce them, then you you are going to have to go to court. To avoid this, then there needs to be agreement between yourselves - if you can't do this, then the next step would probably be mediation - I think this is where you should be looking.

You could 'retaliate' by reducing the maintenance payments to the CSA calculated value (which I reckon, on what you have said, is just over 15% of your income based on an average of 1.5 nights per week with you, not including any travel etc), but again, this is going to make the situation worse, sounds like her solicitor isn't helping the situation much.

Dear Bensdad,

Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.

Generally it is for the resident parent, in this case the mother, to control all contact that children have with others, including the other parent. No parent has any right to contact with their children, it is children that have a right to contact with their parents, and as your children are not able to make these decisions for themselves it falls to the resident parent to make these, until a court order is in place.

The first step is always to suggest mediation (it is advisable that you do this in writing), even if you do not believe it will work, as this shows a willingness to negotiate should the matter go to court. The contact number for National Family Mediation is 01392 271610.

If mediation is not successful or the mother refuses to attend, then you have the option of making an application to court for a contact order. This is a legally binding order that sates the days and times you are to see your children, and if the mother breaches this she may be penalised.

You are able to make applications yourself or with a solicitor, however you feel more comfortable.

From a legal point of view, contact and maintenance are completely unrelated and the court will not place a great deal of emphasis on maintenance as a non resident parent is liable to pay maintenance whether they see the children or not. However it may look negatively upon you if you stop paying as this is likely to have an impact on your children.

The court are very much in favour of granting contact when it is safe for the children to do so, and it is extremely rare that the court would not grant a parent contact if it is applied for, as it is thought to be best for children to have a relationship with both parents where possible.

When you have contact it is for you to decide who the children see and where they go, unless stated otherwise in a court order. At present when you have the children, you are able to take them where you wish (within the UK) and are able to allow them to see your new partner. If the mother is not happy with this then she does have the power to stop the contact that you are having or to restrict this.
Should a court order be granted, then the mother is able to raise her concerns to the court regarding your new partner, but as a general rule the court will not restrict your children from spending time with her if you feel it is appropriate when they are in your care unless the mother can show your new partner poses a risk to them. If the court does not place any restrictions within the order, then you will be able to decide if and when the children spend time with your partner and the mother will not be able to stop this.

We hope that this information is useful to you. Should you require any further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.

Kind Regards

Children’s Legal Centre