Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
I have a 5 year old daughter that I want to take on holiday in August, during the school summer holidays. I have a strained relationship with her mum, but we tend to settle our differences when it comes to arrangements about my daughter. We both have her best interests at heart.
I approached mum about taking my daughter away for 10 days in august, we had a civil email exchange about it and she agreed to the dates etc. All was going well until she asked where we were going. When I told her, she has decided it is to hot and she will not allow me to take her. We are hoping to go to Marrakech, and although it is warm, we have been before and know she will be fine.
We have no orders in place and have divorced and arranged the contact with my daughter through mediation.
So questions...
Can she do this?
Can she effectively decide where I can go on holiday by ruling out destinations for my daughter.
Can I ask her to take my daughter on holiday without telling her where we are going? I realise this is a bit sneeky, but if she is going to vet my holidays what else do I do?
Do I need her permission to go to a specific destination?
I would appreciate any advice about how to solve this.
I'm guessing that if she were going to take your daughter there on holiday and you said you didn't think it a suitable destination then you'd be told quickly that you had no right to tell her where she takes her on holidays!
having said that my guess is she'd just do it and you would have no say...that seems to be how things work for many fathers!
At the end of the day where you decide to go on holiday or days out etc... has nothing to do with your ex......and as long as you feel its a safe place or safe thing to be doing then thats what being a responsible parent is....meaning putting the childs safety first!
Don't they have swiming pools....shaded areas....Suncream.....Aircon.......doctors....hospitals.....things like that in holiday destinations these days??? i bet the do where your ex takes her!!!!
its one rule for one...one rule for her.....its called keping you under her control!
I would agree with dad-i-d. What a load of nonsense but….. the power rests with her. I think I am right in saying that both of you require written permission from each other to take your child abroad. There is a bit of quid pro quo here. If she wishes to take the child abroad she needs your permission. It may be worth pointing this out to her and ask her how she would feel if you tried to control where she took her on holiday. How about you ask her for a list of countries where it is appropriate to take her which you agree together!!!!!
Mind you Marrakech will be roasting; try Essaouira, a short ride away on the coast, it's a lot cooler and lovely.
Best of luck.
i'd ask further about the "needing each others permission" bit......my ex took my son without my knowledge with her new fella to disneyland paris....i wasn't told or even consulted......not that i would have denied my little one the chance of going somewhere so exciting for kids.....but the point i make here is that i brought that up in court and the judge said that unless i was fearfull that she would go abroad and not return then she or i for that matter could take him on holiday abroad whenever but for not more than 1 month...if it was to be for more than one month then she'd have to write to the courts for permission and i'd have to agree to that.
the most hurtfull part about it all is in the last 2yrs i know that she has taken my little one on numerous holidays and abroad....and all the time i'm not told about it.......and haven't been able to take him on holiday with me in this time.......having said that i've been shelling out thousands of £££'s trying to fight for more contact (legal bill) which has taken any spare money so not had a holiday in 3yrs now....and the way its looking it'll be another 5-7yrs by the time i pay off the legal bill :boohoo:
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.