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Good evening all,
First time here and, as many are, desperate for help.
My ex has decided to stop contact until I meet her demands for extra money etc. She has been mentally abusive to our daughter and has on at least one occasion slapped her across the face. I can prove the slapping incident via screen shots from her messages admiting it. I have not yet approached anyone about this as i have been desperately trying to get the situation under control for my daughters sake.
She feel totally left out of her mothers weekend life ( i have her every weekend and half of the school holidays) but her mother sees her boyfriend weekends and does not want our daughter around.
What can i do?
Thanks in advance
Hi there
Just to reassure you, contact and maintenance payments are two entirely separate issues and one isn't dependent on the other. She is wrong to stop contact.
The physical abuse of your child is upsetting, whilst smacking isn't illegal, a slap across the face is on a different level to a tap on the leg. You could give Children Services a call and talk to them about it, but be prepared for further fall out from the mother, for involving them.
You could also talk to your daughters school about your concerns, the abuse and the fact that your daughter has been prevented from seeing you recently, which will be distressing for her, they may be able to offer her some form of pastoral care; someone that she can talk to in confidence.
You could open a case with the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) yourself, they would calculate the amount that you should be paying. Here's a link to the CMS calculator, whichnwill give you a good idea of what you should be paying, it can work out that the amount is less than you pay currently, which would give you some leverage in negotiations.
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
As far as contact, your first step would be to attempt mediation to try and sort this out, if she refuses to attend, or mediation fails, the only other option would be to apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order, there's lots of useful information about the process in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, but if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
All the best
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