Ex partner with BPD refusing me access to see my son

I got my manager at work pregnant, it was unplanned and ever since I found out I always wanted to be involved in my sons life. I had broken things off with her after 6 weeks of relationship as I found her intolerable. Stupidly I decided to get back with her once she told me she was pregnant. I waited over her hand and foot , doing everything I possibly could to ensure she would let me be part of my sons life. She suffers with BPD which i did not fully understand the seriousness of at the time. She became so difficult to deal with accusing me of not caring, sleeping around constant irritability beyond any level of reasonable behaviour even for a pregnant woman. I felt as though i was on eggshells around her genuinely feeling completely emotionally exhasuted . Once again I broke things off with her as she became increasingly controlling and manipulative. I kept conversations with her to a minimum from when she was around 6-8 months pregnant. 

She let me go to the scans when we were together but said after i broke up with her that i did not deserve to go. I was very keen to go to the birth not even to be in the room but just to be there after he was born. when she was roughly 8 months pregnant I went to visit her and transferred her £1000 for baby stuff. She then told me I did not deserve to go to the birth, know where she lives or be involved in my sons life. After bottling up my emotions dealing with her for 8 months I snapped and from across the room with no threats of violence I told her what i really thought of her I will be the first to admit i said a lot of nasty things mostly calling her a nutter and saying she was toxic for emotionally blackmailing me using our son. I told her nothing she could do would ever stop me from being a good Dad. 

After this conversation she blocked me and it wasn't until after my sons birth in June that social services contacted me. They did an assessment on me because immediately after our argument to my shock she had called the police citing verbal abuse. In the report she made about my to social services she stated that I was verbally abusive, threatening to destroy her and use her mental health against her. She also stated that I was physically aggressive smashing up her house with a baseball bat. She also said I am erratic and up and down of drugs and that i threatened to kill her dog and run away with my son.

I am 23 years old she is 28 when I read these accusations for the first time i felt awful I believe that I did make mistakes in our relationship but that nothing to the extent that would warrant paragraph after paragraph of accusations trying to destroy my reputation and my character and paint me as some kind of evil woman beating junkie monster. Most of the allegations are he said she said type with no evidence to prove either way.  The verbal abuse I will admit to I did loose my patience with her on the occasion she decided to finally start her plan of blocking me out of my sons life. The aggressive behaviour is a complete lie as she had also accused her neighboor of the exact same thing smashing things up using a baseball bat which i have friends who witnessed as she lived in shared accommodation at the time proving that those allegations are totally untrue as police reports were made about that man doing those things so not me. I do infrequently smoke cannabis although it was never smoked around her and I was never under its influence around her but she knew occasionally I smoked so has decided to use it against me. I rarely drink and do not take any other drugs although when i was younger 18-20 I did party a lot and take drugs. I have completely turned my life around I go to church I am into my fitness and they way she describes in is completely untrue and perfectly constructed to make me appear as an evil man. She has been taking medication and been diagnosed with BPD for the last 10-15 years on record. I have or never had tried to threaten her or use her mental health against her its a complete paranoid delusion in which she is a victim and I am a monster.

This whole situation has left me feeling completely emotionally in agony, I slept with someone who upon being broken up with seems to be set on destroying me for the sole purpose of the fact that I didn't ever love her or want to be with her. I think it wound her up even more by the fact that I was so keen to become a father so excited to meet my son she knew it was the only thing she had that I wanted. Not being able to see my son has crushed me I have spent the last 5 months since he was born endlessly worrying about him not because she is a bad mother but just because i want to see him I've never even met him. 

I have no interest in this woman at all. The best way I can describe her at best is controlling with mental health issues and at worst a complete narcissist [censored] bend of emotionally abusing me for some perceived wrong I did to her by not wanting to get married and make a life with her.

Its been 5 months since my son was born I am terrified of this woman what she will try and do to me in court I live in constant stress and fear because I am a young man who has no idea about court I've never been in trouble the law im just not that type of person at all. I feel like my life is on  hold until I see my son. All I want is to see my son i have no interest in being in the same room as this woman for I fear the next accusation could be rape or something even worse because she has proved to me she will stop at no end to lie manipulate the truth to paint herself as a perpetual victim of everbody else around her. I take accountability and responsibility for the things I have done wrong and have every intention of doing so in court but I cannot and will not accept it for all of this stuff I havent even done!

I have waited 5 months from not to take action because I am scared and also because once I read the report i realised how mentally unstable she must have been I wanted my son to live his first months in peace and I have no interest in fighting I do not hate this woman she simply terrifies me. I am really hoping somebody could just breifly guide me through the kind of process I should expect when filing a C100 and going to court. I am not a rich man but I think I should seek legal advice and spend whatever I can on a solicitor. What kind of process happens once in court step by step ?Can somebody point me in the right direction? give me some hope that I will see my son and roughly how long I should expect reallistically to have to wait before I can see him? Will there be understanding to some extent in court that she suffers with this mental health problem that causes extreme spitefulness and altered perspectives on reality?I pay her maintenance every month even though ive never seen my son and I just want to be a father and to hold my son and to love him I have no interest in doing anything other than a great dad!

Thanks for any help