[Solved] Ex partner is moving 100s of miles with my daughter!

Hi Brendanth

Welcome to the forum.

I can sympathise with what you are going through - my ex moved from Bedford to Manchester a few years ago, taking my children with her at the time. Unfortunately, as you have already read, there is pretty much nothing you can do stop her unless you believe that the motives of her move are to interfere with contact - moving to be nearer to her family, IMO, would be classed as a legitimate reason for moving, so a court isn't going to prevent her from moving. Similarly, a court is very unlikely to award you residence if you tried, as there is no indication from your post that she is anything other than a good mother.

As you are speaking to her reasonably amicably, your best solution is to work out an arrangement with her regarding contact, possibly with both of you doing some of the travelling, and to arrange longer stays, such as having her for a week a couple of times a year. There is no perfect solution, so it's a matter of making the best of a bad job, but keeping communication open is very important as, hopefully, it will save going to court which should only be a last resort.

Sorry, I can't give any better news than this.

Hi Brendanth,

I will ask our legal partners from the Childrens Legal Centre to pop by and give you some advice.

Gooner :ugeek:

Similarly, a court is very unlikely to award you residence if you tried, as there is no indication from your post that she is anything other than a good mother.

Hi actd and thanks for the reply.

Just one question.

How does a resident parent moving a child a substantial distance away making access extremely limited for the other parent which in turn could have a damaging effect on said child, and all for their own selfish needs make her a good mother? While she may be a good mother in all other aspects I fail to see how taking away her babies daddy can in any be seen as in the childs "best interest" and far from it!

To be fair your answer is pretty much as I imagined. It absolutely horrifies me that this is deemed legal and even reasonable.

It is my understanding that the court in all cases will have the childs welfare as their priority. It doesn't take a genius to work out that removing a loving caring parent from a childs life even at such a young age could have massive psychologically damaging effects.

When will will this country review it's archaic laws and introduce a modern structure for a modern society instead of giving mothers a free pass to do whatever the [censored] they like all in the name of "A child BELONGS with it's mother!"? We live in a world where gay men are able to have babies, and I am certainly not saying they shouldn't -but where is the mother in that kind family? 😡

Thankyou for your advice and I look forward to having my life shattered once more with the advice from the Childrens Legal Centre. 😥

Hi Brendanth

I can understand how you feel ( as I said, my ex did the same with my children - I drove a 400 mile round journey every alternate Sunday for around 2 years) and I don't think it's necessarily reasonable, but the courts wouldn't consider it unreasonable that she wants to be near her family. The attitude of the law is changing, and the attitude that a child stays with his or her mother isn't a give, as much as it used to be. This is obviously still very raw with you, but while your ex is still nearby, you need to try to work towards the best solution you can reach to have as much contact as possible.

Morning - The Childrens Legal Centre have had some issues logging on this morning to reply to your question so I am posting on their behalf.

Dear Brendanth,

There are a few options available to you.

Before applying for a court order, it would be advisable that you and your former partner attempt to reach an agreement through mediation. The National Family Medication can provide help for you and your former partner to achieve this; their telephone number is: 01392 271610. If you do apply to court for an order the judge will look to whether you have attempted to reach an agreement outside of the court and he/she may not look favourable upon your application if he/she does not feel you have adequately attempted to reach an agreement before applying to the court.

If you cannot reach an agreement informally then it may be necessary to apply to court for an order. You could apply to the courts for a prohibited steps order; if issued the order could stop your former partner from relocating. However, as you are aware the courts are reluctant to issue an order to stop a parent from relocating within the UK, especially if she is planning on joining other family members.

Alternatively you can apply to court for a residence order which, if issued in your favour, would state where your daughter should live and could require that she remain with your in Manchester. Your former partner will be able to contest your application.

If your former partner is intent on moving and you do not wish to apply for a residence order you can apply to court for a contact order which would define what contact you should have with your daughter. The order could include provision regarding transportation and the onus could be placed upon your former partner to transport the child from Northampton to Manchester for your contact.
If you wish to apply for any of the orders you can instruct a solicitor or you can represent yourself.

If you decide to represent yourself; to make an application for any of the orders you need to complete a form called C100 which you can download from http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk . There are two other forms, CB1 and CB3, which you can also download from the above web site which are guidance notes for completing the C100 and the process that that entails.

The application will cost £200. It may be worth completing an EX160 if you feel you are exempt from this fee. The guidance notes for this form are called an EX160A. You should then submit this form with your application.

Your ex partner will be able to contest your application for an order but a Judge will decide whether to issue the order on the basis of what he/she considers to be in the best interests of your daughter.

If you have any further questions please do contact us on 0808 8020 008 or you can consult our website: http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/ .

Yours sincerely,

The Children’s Legal Centre

Thanks actd and Gooner!

And my thanks to the Childrens Legal Centre. Just knowing I have a few options to explore has helped to relieve a little of the stress and frustration this situation is causing. Fingers crossed the ex and myself can come to an agreement without the need for courts.

Fingers crossed the ex and myself can come to an agreement without the need for courts.

Hope so mate - Glad we were able to help.

Brendanth, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I've experienced my ex moving 200 miles away to Grimsby from Manchester in Jan 2010, I didn't get a warning or a say in that, she just did it.
I have yet to find anything I can legally do about it.

I don't agree with Mothers moving so far away. I mean, her Family are all here, my daughter's family are all here. It was purely to cut me out of the equation.

In hindsight, I should have done the court thing when we initially split so my advice would literally be to play it by the book, legally if need be but to do everything you can to keep your daughter as close as possible. I can appreciate it's a tough time and everything can seem a little hazy and harsh but keep at it and you'll hopefully get a good result.

I really hope it works out for you dude! Keep at it.