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Hi all,
I'll try to keep the into brief.
Me and my ex broke up when she was 6 months pregnant. we were moving into a house on the Monday and she pulled out on the Friday.
She blocked me so we couldn't talk until our son arrived. I was speaking to her mum to keep updated.
When our son arrived I was going around to her flat to see him everyday and we were getting on. Then after about 5 days she changed for the worse. She said she was struggling to spend time with me because her day is then about seeing me, even though I was there for our son.
She started cancelling my days and even tried to stop me being there when my family met him.
She started to make allegations against me (me being controlling), so she then said she didn't want to see me - which I was fine with as I am there to see our son.
Then she registered our son without me so I have no parental rights and gave him her surname alone when we agreed it'll be double barrel.
I then got a solicitor involved and since then her allegations have got worse, a lot worse. All her allegations are far from the truth and she has twisted a lot.
I was going round to her flat and she would be in the other room and her mum would be there to help me (as this is my first child I am happy for the help). this happened for a few weeks. She emailed me on the Monday asking for my availability which I replied to. I revolve everything around her so she has less to moan about.
She then got a letter from mediation on the Thursday and now she has cancelled all visits to her flat. She is now saying I have to go to a visitation centre and be supervised (she's trying to say I may be harmful), with a written report after every session, which is £120 per session.
She has also made up lies about my mother so she can't supervise.
She is clearly making it difficult as I was allowed in her flat at the start but now for no reason I am not. I messaged her mum asking for some photos as I wasn't allowed to see my son on the Saturday and she used that message against me in the letter from her solicitor. Saying I am putting her mum in a 'difficult position'.
Throughout our relationship there was no mention from her to me about any of these accusations. I have all the messages from 2020 which I have sent to my solicitor in case we need to go though them. She was the controlling and the toxic one. I have messages where she is arguing with me about a photo I put up on my social media, messages where she has said if I see my friends this weekend she wont see me and a lot more.
My ex suffers with anxiety and was on anti depressants before she fell pregnant. She has also had suicidal thoughts before and her mum tried to commit suicide which planted the seed in her mind.
I'd like to know if the court will see what she is like and look past her allegations because these only started since our son arrived. Also with no evidence other than her mum once witnessing me get annoyed because my ex moved a card I had left out and I was rushing out.
She comes from a wealthy family so money isn't an issue for her so I think she will be trying to make this as expensive for me as possible. She also has no friends other than her mum who agrees with everything she says so she constantly thinks she's right.
Our son will be 11 weeks this weekend, so very young so I know I won't get to see him on my own for long periods of time but I'd like to know what the court will decide if they see her as just an evil woman deliberately trying to stop contact.
Or will I have to have a trial to prove I am not this bad guy she is making me out to be.
Thanks for reading.
I'm sorry to hear this and understand how difficult it must be for you. There are two issues here and I'm not sure whats going to be heard at court. Has she applied for a non molestation order against you? Have you applied to the court to see your son? If she applied for a non mol then you can contest that and there will be a trial although the non mol may be made in the meantime. Alternatively you can accept undertakings but that means the same, just without the right of arrest if she says you are breaching them.
If you have applied to see your son, which seems likely given that you mention mediation, and if she refuses and it goes to court, the Judge will decide how contact takes place. If the court says your mother can supervise then she will have to comply. However, the court will likely order reports from Cafcass and these will give recommendations which the court usually goes by. Its much better to come to an agreement without going to court as there will be a long delay before its sorted, possibly several months. Even longer if she doesn't comply.
You don't mention maintenance payments for your son. There is a guide on the CMS website which works out what you should pay based on your income. If you cant afford the solicitor there are guides on the advicenow.org.uk website which may help
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