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I'm writing this for a friend:
Basically.
His son is about a year old and she refuses to let him take his son away for a few hours once a week. She says she must know who he's going to(he wanted to take him home, to see his aunt & grandparents on his fathers side), she must have met the said family of his before hand or its not allowed she has to see said houses to ensure they are baby proofed etc.
She says she does not trust him (but her main reasoning is she has to have complete control) he pays money each week for upkeep and has been visiting his child in her home for the full year. It was a messy break up, and even after the year she still hasn't gotten over it.
Her trust means "you need to get back with me" And he has been harassed with demands of how he should behave and she has often personally put her feelings up on social network sites detailing her side of the story humiliating him and general slander to anyone around him who she deems as being "too close to him"
Shes refusing to let him take his kid anywhere unless she has pre approved it!
I think he should be allowed to take his own child away once a week at an allotted time to whomever in his family/back to his house if he likes. But am i right in thinking shes being unreasonable based on her personal past feelings and grudges?
Hes named as the father on the birth certificate.
All maintenance payments are made through the bank for proof.
-Her other child from another man is taken away weekly with no problems!
-She is refusing to have any reason on this. But if it ended going to court, would he have a proper case and theoretically win it?
-this is happening in scotland
Hi There,
Welcome along,
My knowledge of scottish law is slim but I would say that if you went to court you would have a very strong case.
I would see if he can arrange mediation to try and resolve the issues first though rather than trying court as a first approach.
It does sound to me that she is trying to control rather than protect and most legal proffesionals would see that too.
Darren
Its been a long running problem, but she says he can only visit the grandparents (because shes been to that house before) and no more because there's no trust! From a psychological point of view she's went manic. i made up a little agreement of contact since though, any thoughts on whether it seems fair etc would be really appreciated!
That I as father of the child and with parental responsibility, can take the named child away once a week at an agreed time from his mothers home to spend quality time bonding with family and so forth at my own place of residence etc.
That under no circumstances can it be dictated who i take my son to see, or that the places must be pre-approved by herself personally.
I will have a point of contact with me at all times (phone etc)
In the hours that James is in my care, he will be fully supervised by myself at all times.
He will not be put into a dangerous environment.
Picture contact through media sites etc will be provided for the first month and thereafter privacy will be contained to a reasonable level.
To ensure quality of care i ask that there is not constant or demanding contact from the mother after the first month of taking my son away for visits.
That he will stay in xxxxxxx and within a 10 mile radius of his mothers home
In case of emergency the mother will of course be contacted immediatley
If necessary a diary will be kept of his activities while in my care, written on an hour-to-hour basis.
When in my care and in my own home the house will be adequately proofed according to his age.
He will be returned to his mothers home on each occassion or at an agreed meeting point.
If the visit is going to go outwith the time or ten mile radius the mother will be informed and in case of travel - permission asked to go further afield prior to collecting for visits.
Hi uriel and welcome 🙂
Like Darren I dont know too much about Scottish Law either. I have given you a link to the Scottish Mediation Service which I thought might be helpful. Mediation can have a good outcome, and sessions are guided by a trained mediator.
The contact agreement that you have put together for your friend seems reasonable to me and covers all the issues that may arise.
Good luck and let us knw how you get on 🙂
www.scottishmediation.org.uk
Might be worth contacting the Scottish Child Law Centre also, the link is http://www.sclc.org.uk/
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