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Hi guys.
First post on here so please take it easy with me!
Im looking for some advice regarding my ex breaching a residence order thats in my favour. Essentially, to cut to the chase, my ex refused to return my daughter to me as per the residence order over ten weeks ago which is in my favour.
She hasnt given any real reason at all other than to state that as Im now working full time I cannot care for my daughters needs and that my contact should drop from four nights a week to not having any staying contact. My solicitor was banging on at me to collect my daughter from school as per the court order but I was resistant to the idea as it would give my ex ammunition to use against me. She tried to accuse me of domestic violence during the court case (for which the Judge criticised her as there was no evidence) and my daughter has never been in danger in my care.
Once the residence order was in place she ran to social services at every opportunity for varying reasons including my favourite (giving her water to drink) and other than their "duty of care" stuff they never took any action. In truth whilst I love my daughter to bits shes very good at playing my ex and I against each other (even at the age of six) and whilst I call her out on what shes doing, her mother hangs off her every word and questions her extensively about what had been going on whilst she was in my care. Theres obviously a big back story to this that I dont have the time to go into but essentially I'm sure you can see the pattern.
My personal belief is that shes only interested in the money associated with having a child (as was CAFCASS's during the original court case) and in truth I couldnt care less about the money, only my access to my daughter. Her personal situation has changed because shes been forced to move back in with her mother (in company with my daughter) and they all share a two bedroom flat. I was also forced to chase her up with a solictors letter as she had moved without telling me, a scenario that is damning from a SS/ CAFCASS point of view but also rather suspicious based on her "reduced circumstances" (sorry for the paraphrasing) and her refusal to return my daughter.
Anyway, any help would be much appreciated and apologies for the rambling. Many thanks.
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Can I just check, when you say the residence order is in your favour, do you mean that the court has ordered that your daughter should reside with you? I think it would be best to clarify this before giving further advice.
Hi there and welcome 🙂
You say you have a Residence Order, your ex having been awarded contact 3 nights a week, is that right?
If you have a Residence Order and she is refusing to return her then it should be a police matter. They have a duty to return her to you. If I were you I would give them a call and explain what has happened and ask them to implement the Order and return her.
Hi. Yes the residence order is in my favour. Initially it was going to be 12 out of 14 nights with me (as proposed by CAFCASS). When SS got involved Megan stated that she was spending 4 nights with me and 3 with her mother whilst this was going through the courts and inexplicably Social Services suggested that. The CAFCASS officer revised her earlier report and that was what was finalised.
Hi and thanks for your reply. Unfortunately the Police's stance is that its a civil matter; Megs is not at risk so they wont get involved. My ex was expecting to get legal aid and having found out that she wasnt entitled, refused to attend mediation as she would have to pay for it.
I would go to the school with the Order and take her back! I dont see how the court would take a dim view, they granted the Residence Order for good reasons (I know they dont award Residence to one parent over another lightly). I cant see how they can take action against an Order that they put in place!
I'm shocked at the police's stance....my son has a Residence Order! I remember when the police came to my house, when my son had PR and had kept hold of his son because of sageguarding issues, the police stated that as the mother didnt have a Residence Order they would not intervene...they gave the impression that had there been one they would have to act on it.
It is a presumption that if a Residence Order is in place and the NRP doesnt return the child after contact, the police will intervene and return the child.
Most definitely the Police get involved when there is a Residence Order! I would even press them again! If there is no Order, no they wont get involved.
Yes go into the school with the Residence Order - to and see the Head, deal with it quietly before the end of the school day.
Social Services could very well have made a mistake as to what your daughter told them (and what does a 6 year know about spending 12 out of 14 days with you - 14 days is an enormous amount of time to 6 year olds! LOL!) She could have said 14 but the Social Worker only heard "4", . Did they speak to you as well? I am surprised that they did not raise this with you, before finalising their report.
...I have taken some advice on this, its very pertinent to my sons situation, he has a Residence Order and the mother does threaten to keep him.
As my son doesnt have a solicitor I was able to speak to the CCLC for clarification.
It appears that its a grey area! 😡 Some Police forces do act and some dont!!! The police do often involve themselves, and will act to return the child if there is a Residence Order, BUT they dont have to because as you say its a civil matter. If thats the case then you would apply for Enforcement but with the C100 form, not the C79. This can be done as an Emergency application.
The other thing you could do is to ask the police to accompany you to the house and attend whilst you retrieve your child.
I'm shocked and it has been a learning curve for me I must say, I always took it as read that a Residence Order was enforcable by the police. Family Law is ineffectual, has no teeth and protects no one, especially the children. In my opinion the Residence Order isnt worth the paper its written on....I'm so angry about this! 😡 😡 😡
NJ, I'm as shocked as you are by this - I too thought that the police were bound to enforce the Residence Order, it is, after all, an order by the court. I don't think I can add too much to the advice given at the moment - get your daughter back by any means without breaking the law and then stop contact on the basis that you believe she will be abducted until proper contact arrangements are put in place, which I would suggest should be supervised contact only at a contact centre, with firm instructions that Megs is not to be take out of the building under any circumstances.
It might be worth ringing the court to see what can be done quickly about enforcement - they may have some suggestions and may have a number for someone in the police service you can contact directly.
Heavens above! I am so shocked by that too...I thought that was the whole point of the RO. Obviously Stoke Police are very good in this connection...but I am very shocked that not all police forces think alike! Basically then it seems that the RO is a waste of space on that ground!
...Its such a pity you didnt find us when it first happened...as its been 10weeks since the mother took her, I dont think applying for an Emergency Enforcement is applicable now. 🙁
It might be worth asking the police to attend with you and armed with your order, go and try and get her back. The school would be an option too...or you wait and go through the court process....gutted for you :boohoo:
Thats great and thank you all very much for your suggestions.
My feeling is that my ex is now regretting her actions as I wonder if she thought that I would simply walk away; that being said this isn't a situation about me abusing Megan, her being neglected whilst in my care or any scenario that would require the involvement of Social Services as to be frank, they havent followed up on any of the accusations levelled against me other than their duty of care stuff. Sadly it is simply reflective of the greed of an individual who wants the monies associated with having a child.
Anyway, the solicitor has the form FM1 issued by the mediators so at least it gives me the opportunity to take this too court. As an aside, presumably my ex will be penalised for preventing my contact without good cause; I know from a case involving a friend that CAFCASS particularly took a dim view of the mother stopping contact.
Again thank you all, sincerely.
she's not just preventing contact, she is in blatant breach of the residence order which states that Megan resides with you. That is what is so shocking IMO.
Hello i have a residence order son kept from coming homeor but police wont do anything unless they believe the children are in danger,its not classed as criminal i looked at getting a emergency enforcement order but cant because its not a emergency. all kicked of last night where my ex wont return son after night with her.So enforcement order to be sent tomorrow but do worry how long these things take but talking to the police if i got one of they would collect him if required.
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