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Hello Dad forums, I am new and not sure if this is open to mums or just dads. If not for mums, then please delete as appropriate.
2 years a go I had an arranged marriage in Pakistan. Guy seemed decent, family knew him etc etc.
Did 3 jobs to sponsor him over and paid all his fees, expenses as well as his families. I was naive.
Long story short, I sponsored him over and he came and started pressuring me to get pregnant. Wasn't ready but fell pregnant straight away. He started messing me around pretty since then. I was very ill during my pregnancy and in hospital lots of times and out of.
He hit me , pushed me, emotionally abused me, tried to get me to move in with his immigrant sexual offender brother. Both of them took my money and pretty much ruined me. I was too out of it to go police or anything. Eventually I got the gist that this was a marriage set up for immigration reasons. I have screenshots of ex talking to his sister in Pakistan about 'the plan' and how he can't leave me until the baby is born and the sister saying, no just leave..our work is done etc etc.
I kept those. During my diabetes test, he was verbally and physically abusive to me in the waiting room and on the way home. Somehow I have a recording in which he and I could be heard arguing on the way home and him trying to stop me driving and being aggressive towards me. I have kept that for evidence. When there was 2 months left of my pregnancy, I became suspicious about some lies he was telling and put an old mp3 player in my car whilst he took the car to work. I wasn't expecting anything however had recordings of him talking to his brother about how he was blackmailing me, how there was only 2 months left, how he insults me, how he is interested in underage girls, relaying to his brother how I don't want a Muslim surname and he thinks its matter or hounor and he will get his way etc, how he will abuse me and baby when it is born, how he will force me to move out of town away from my support system, how he is capable of calling other people over from Pakistan.
I have transcript ed the recordings, if anyone wants - i can upload them. Straight after that I went to the police but did not press charges. Soon after he became worse and forced me to hand in the notice to our flat. His english wasn't good enough so I had to do all the 'talking.' Then my Dad was in hospital and I went home one day and the flat had been stripped leaving me a single mattress and my car keys and in arrears for rent.
Prior to that he had refused to come to the birth registration and spent his paternity leave with his brother. Once he left me homeless in that situation , I moved back in with my mother who lived around the corner. Upon his arrival in the country, that was where we lived for some time. Once he left I went to the police and filed charges. After that I spoke to Home Office and managed (this doesn't happen often) to get his visa to finish early as he was no longer living with me. Then I knew he would come back with contact order when his time in UK came to a stop. 6 months with no contact except him stalking me on my whatsapp etc. It was a fresh start for me and my child after he went.
Now his visa finished on the 12th September - on the 13th I receive a contact order court date for initial resolution despute hearing. C100 says he has no idea where I am and contact details therefore no mediation attempted. I have been to a lot of solicitors, I don't qualify for legal aid but most of the solicitors said - you do not need a solicitor, you are well spoken and could represent yourself. One solicitor has out of the good will of his heart decided to help me out with all my paperwork but he can't represent me because they are not insured to do family law. I am going for no contact at all and if worst comes to worst indirect contact.
I have written my position statement and am feeling ok for the first hearing. Probably the judge will order a fact finding hearing. I am scared that the other solicitor is going to rip my good evidence to pieces.
Do you think I have a chance? Shall I just avoid the hassell of court if I'm not even gonna be successful? Is someone able to check my position statement?
Hi There,
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This is a bit out of my depth but one of the other members will be ab;e to comment for you.
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Don't up load anything here as it is an open forum and anything you do write/up load can be seen by anyone and this could harm your case.
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Keep checking back and I'm sure we will be able to help.
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GTTS
Hi
if you have had police involvement and given the issues you have told us about, there should be a way to claim Legal Aid. You must attend court. Not to, would not reflect well upon you.
Cafcass will contact you before the hearing and you will have an opportunity to relay all of this information to them. They will make a recommendation to the court of what reports need to be undertaken and any way forward.
I would suggest contacting your local CAB for details of support groups or agencies in your area who might be able to help. You could also try contacting Families Need Fathers. Despite the name, they are a shared parenting charity who support parents of either [censored].
Best of luck
l would go back to the police and see if they can put you in touch with people or agencies who can help - they are getting better at this sort of case.
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