Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi all, appreciate this might already have been covered in other threads but I'm interested in hearing from others who might have been in the same boat in similar circumstances.
CONTEXT:
My ex-wife and I divorced when our boy almost a decade ago, and we never went to court over custody. I wanted to keep things civil and not impact him so largely agreed to all of her wishes and her rules on when i could see him/have him stay with me. Over the years that has roughly translated to 2 nights at the weekend and when she hasn't been difficult about it a portion of school holidays too. i was paying her 200 a month on her request for him, and any costs that arose outside of that she requested, including 11+ tuition in the end. i didn't want him to go to a private as i don't like them and couldn't afford it and made that clear early on, but agreed to it to avoid her preventing me from seeing him. before she resigned she told me i could stop paying her this money so i did. none of this was ever done through the CSA or any legal rulings. i make a decent wage, but work self employed, but have never had any trouble paying for his needs.
In the early days, I would travel 30 mins to her in the mornings so she could leave for work early and return early to pick him up from school, this went on for about a year. Over the years she has needed to travel abroad for work and i have always looked after him during these trips. In the past couple years it transpired that a lot of these trips were to maintain a relationship with her boss who is now in hers and my kid's life. The relationship led to the pair of them leaving their roles ahead of likley being fired for said relationship. That has put her out of work for a long period of time and she is now suggesting that in order to find work she may have to leave the country, and suggesting that because he 'lives with her' it's her decision and i need to work with her to resolve this as she is the one 'providing for our kids future'. i have a good relationship with my son and he has a good relationship with my family and has been in a new school for a year where he is settled and since leaving his last school has made freinds (he struggled with this at his last school).
My question is, what steps do i need to take now? i am terrified that triggering legal action will result in her stopping him from seeing me or making it much harder.
hi,
yes the risk of her stopping you seeing child is there. most dads experience it while going through court proceedings. if you want to prevent child moving abroad, would have to file a c100 form, in that there is prohibited steps order, where you would ask courts to stop her moving child abroad. if you need further support you can contact me. sending you private message.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.