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Hi i live in Scotland (if that changes the response)
I separated from my girlfriend about 1 year after my daughter was born, i am on the birth certificate. I pay child maintenance, and i see my daughter regularly (her mum says im a terrible father and dont see her enough blah blah, there is alot of issues that i wont burden you with at the minute)
Ive just been hit with the bomb shell that she wants to change her surname, its currently the same as mine, and she wants to change it to hers. I know i dont have to give her permission, and i dont intend to, and will fight it.
But she has been changing her name in nursery, do i stand anywhere with respect to that? Can i stop her changing her name in nursery etc?
Such a selfish thing to do in my opinion, she is three years old and will be confused as to whats going on with her name. My arguement was that when she is older she can make her own decision.
This is all just to spite me, she doesnt want me involved in her life anymore.
Not sure if Scotland is different.....do you have a residency/contact order?
In my residency/contact order it states....Where a residence Order is in force no person may cause the children to be known by a new surname or remove the children from the United Kingdom without the written consent of every person with parental responsibility for the children or the leave of the court.
Regards,
Dave
Again I’m not sure in Scotland………….but I’ve had this same issue with my ex.
My ex did ask me….but I refused….and she just changed it anyway!
I only found out when my son started at school and I found out and went along to introduce myself to the school and find out how he was doing and that’s when I found out she’d registered him at school under her name.
I had to prove who I was and provide my son’s birth certificate to get them to change their official records to his correct legal surname but they wouldn’t stop from calling him the name she had told them to call him…..what she was making him “known by” without something from the courts!
Same went for the Doctors….she’d fraudulently filled in paperwork at the doctors to register him under her name….the doctors never asked for his birth certificate (as she was friends with one of the office staff there!) that took me 18mths going through NHS complaints and eventually to the head of the NHS authority complaints dept. for the county/area (N*****shire & D*shire)
What I have learnt is that she can ask school or nursery or other places to make the child “known by” whatever name she wants, she can’t legally register the child in any other name than that on the birth certificate and she can’t change that without your agreement.
The making him “known by” another name can only really be stopped by her or by a court order preventing her!
That took me 2yrs in our contact battle and get the courts to tell her she shouldn’t have done it and order her to make him “known by” his real surname again.
This is always going to be a battle as she has constantly told him he is as her surname and when she married the other year told him to start using that surname too…..all very confusing for a primary school child the courts agreed with me!
All this was settled in court last feb 2013…..but in Jan this year she took me to court over his surname and lost again….the judge ruled that the previous judges had told her she was wrong in doing that to her child…denying him of his heritage and told her if she took it to a contested hearing (as I was refusing to accept it) then that judge would also read it the same as he had and she’d waste her money with another barrister!
Recently (in the last couple of months) me and my son were writing cards out and as I was helping him spell his surname he dropped it out that his mummy says he has two surnames….“one for when he is with her…and one for when he is with me”! So she clearly isn’t sticking to the court order but I only have a 6yr old child telling me that and I don’t have anything in writing.
I checked with school and he’s still called and “known by” his real name there and same with Doctors etc… so its her just trying to keep her control.
Hi there
Scottish law is different, here's a link to the Scottish legal centre where you will get legal advice about where you stand.
www.sclc.org.uk
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