[Solved] Ex breaking Prohibited steps order- Help ?

Have you got the Guardians contact number? Give them a call and tell them what your little one told you, the fact that you were so concerned you called the police for some advice because of the court order and tell her what they said. Tell them your motivation is solely to protect the children and as there is alcohol involved you are worried what may happen if they are drinking. Be careful not to give the impression you are questioning the children and ask what you should do about informing the court of the serious breach of the interim order.

Thank you for your fast response ... have spoken with cafcass this week been given a name but the person said they are appointing a solicitor not sure what they are doing with the case and will be in touch ...so I don't feel I can contact them as it might look like I am trying to persuade them to favour myself but honestly I am not,

the children innocent said while having dinner I think they seemed more upset that their mother was having a 2nd dinner , the problem as you so rightly said is my concern of the drinking as that's when it leads to them fighting , with supermarkets offering beer at silly prices they have cases of it in the basement as my daughter said she hurt herself on all the bottles (stump toe) :unsure:

I don't want to look like a tell tale .... I am cross that my ex is putting me in this position,

I want to ask the children if they have seen him any other days but again as you said I wouldn't ask the children direct questions so this I have to wait and see if they say anything ,

I don't wish to annoy the judge but if I don't report it I am not being fair to the children and if something were to happen ..... 🙁

I think you have to weigh up what's more important here....not wanting to appear a tell tale or annoying the judge, or putting your childrens safety first.

If you are careful not to go in all guns blazing about the ex, just tell them what has happened and say that you were in turmoil about how to proceed but decided the children's well being comes first. Tell them you are worried that your motives would be misinterpreted, as they have been in the past and just be open about it.

You could say you were shocked when your children spoke about it but didn't want to push them on it as that wouldn't be right. Perhaps you could request that they speak to the children, as they are trained to explore what is happening in a child friendly way through play.

Of course it's your call Eric and I'm sure you'll do what is best. Good luck with it.

Thank you some great advise I will be calling them first thing Monday,

Not sure what will come of it but the police did contact me back this morning and would like to come and met with me ,

They are coming this evening as I asked for it to be when the children are in bed I really don't want to worry them with seeing the police I did ask if I could go their but they said they wanted to come and see me so let's see what happens

now I am little nervous as last night they couldn't do anything now they seem to have had a little more in depth look and want to come and talk about it I guess it can only be positive

Jane you were right I was completely shocked did not expect it as I really felt she wouldn't be so stupid but sadly she never seems to surprise me now and not in a good way,

I will update later if any further information as it might help others if PSO are breached let's see,

i think the saddest thing for me is the realisation that sadly i am right she is not concerned what so ever about the children i had always held onto the fact that maybe i got it wrong maybe she showed love and affection in a different way but no they are purely her meal ticket and that's painful for me i dread to think how the children feel as they know they don't have a loving bond with their mum it's so sad

Having the police take an interest in this way, I hope is a good sign.... put it this way, I don't think it can harm your case!

As there is a criminal case against him at the moment, this could be a reason for the police input/interest.

I understand completely the sadness you feel...my sons ex is the same and is incapable of putting her children's needs first, also involved is a dangerous boyfriend... They seem to lack any insight into the impact of their actions on their children. It's such a travesty that bad mothers are enabled so much by our family law system.

If the police take it seriously then I should think the courts will too. It might be worth asking for a written report of their interview with you this evening to file with the court....it would be helpful. Depending on what they say, it might be just as well to contact the court as well as CAFCASS on Monday...again a letter/report from the police would assist you.

Fingers crossed this will be the turning point for you, but more importantly for the children.

Your words always have a calming affect for me NJ - Thank you ,

and some brilliant advise about asking for a report , - Let's see how it goes, however being Saturday night I won't hold my breath if they don't turn up,

I am glad to hear in the news they are pushing this Cinderella law and seeing emotional cruelty as abuse I feel this is what my ex and sounds like your son's ex does they do not know the emotional cruelty their behaviour affects the children and to be honest I know my ex couldn't care less but if her car got a scratch she has a melt down and cry's our children fall over hurt themselves she ignores them and never asks if they are ok, - they walked out the house yesterday when I picked them up didn't look back of say goodbye -

they are currently at a birthday party with my wife and her sister I should be preparing for BBQ and shampooing carpets lol , took me nearly 10 minutes to get them to go and say bye love' you hugs tons of times (not complaining ) but it's so obvious the difference just hope that Cafcass see it for the children as I have no concern when they are older i.e. over 11 they will just not return I am sure but I am trying to save their very special and limited childhood now it goes so fast I don't want them to wait couple more years they can never get that time back ...,

thanks again - will update later

after waiting up till 1am sadly the police were too busy dealing with 'Saturday night drunks/fights etc' the control centre kept calling they were on their way a few times but had to get called to deal with something happening right then and their which I do understand, the have booked to come after 6pm tonight as I wanted to have full day with children and we have lots planned - sadly my youngest daughter nearly two has been up with me and my wife since 4am so we are extremely tired but won't complain as I know how fortunate I am to have my family around me

so not much of an update ..... I really am interested to see what the police think of a PSO and if they have any powers or who can enforce it or act on the order once breached , - dreading the children going back to her today I see them again Thursday but doesn't stop the worrying worked out a pattern of when he is their from before the pso hoping this will assist ?

...you might be in a position not to return the children, wait to see what the police say.....you could keep hold of them this evening and keep them off school and when you speak to the Guardian explain your reasons for doing this and suggest that because of the risk to the children and the fact that it was the weekend, you thought it best to do this. Tell them you would be happy to keep the children but if they felt the children should be returned to the mother then you will obviously comply, you acted out of concern and were aware you needed to put the children's safety above everything else, although you were aware that you were also breaching the contact order.

If you do this then you must inform the mother of your intentions and why, perhaps telling her that if the Guardian was happy for the children to be returned you would do so. Do this in writing, by email if possible, or text, so that you have proof of it.

Just another thought...SS have an out of hours contact number for emergency situations, you could give them a call and explain the situation and ask them to advise you about the best way to deal with the situation, again let them know you would be happy to keep the children.

It's so hard not knowing what to do for the best...I understand you have to be careful not to prejudice your case.

Wish I had read your post earlier Jane 🙁 .... I have been debating with myself all day to let them return or not, sadly the police have still not visited ,

I have returned the children as it will play into her hands she will says I am making it up to keep the children etc and I don't want to play games,

I have drafted a letter to the judge it is very brief as I didn't know what to put I just wanted to mention that the breach had happened put in it that the police have not be able to do anything and wanting to know how to move forward in keeping the children safe,

obviously I am hoping the police are able to do something but not holding my breath as phoned them Friday around 5:30-6pm,

today was one of the hardest returns the children have really enjoyed the weekend it's been non stop and when pulling up to the house they both started crying which made their little sister cry :boohoo:
trying as best i can to protect them from everything feel like im spinning plates .... ,

do hope the police or court can help - 8 weeks till next hearing if cafcass has managed to do what they need to in that time,

Aw sorry Eric...I replied as soon as I saw it, but I did wonder if you would see it in time as I saw you were offline and guessed you would be enjoying your time with the kids.

Hope the police can do something to help the situation.

Aw sorry Eric...I replied as soon as I saw it, but I did wonder if you would see it in time as I saw you were offline and guessed you would be enjoying your time with the kids.

Hope the police can do something to help the situation.

Hey no need to be Sorry - all I was so torn I think had I seen it I would have felt strong enough to have kept them - but it's so difficult to know if your doing the right thing or not as I don't want to be accused of emotionally harming children by not returning I know this wouldn't be the case but she is trying so so hard to get something on me , I brought my daughter new shoes the other week she worn them and like many new shoes sadly she got a blister .. her mother has taken a photo wrote to me about the "massive sore " (tiny blister) on her foot and telling me how I should not allow her to ever use the shoes again it's damaging for her etc - honestly she really is desperate as so far she hasn't got anything to say and had never complained in anyway about my care for the children,

sadly I have given up on the police attending - I will give them another call just after 11pm and ask if I can attend the station after work tomorrow,