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apologies if this is in the wrong section, mods feel free to move
just after some advice
i have a 22 month boy from a previous relationship, things with the mother are frosty.
we arranged a while ago that i have him on alternate weekends.
a couple on months ago she asked if there was anything i needed to tell her because his nursery had reported his behavior was off ever other monday and that she had noticed it too whenever he had been round to mine, i said no and she told me that her and the nursery would monitor it.
i dropped him back this weekend and within an hour she was texting me saying that his behavior was terrible and that it was all my doing. i was polite and asked what he was doing and she said that his attitude stank and couldnt be told no, if he was he would have a massive tantrum. i told her that he was tired when i dropped him off and that i have had this with him when he is over tired. we then discussed routines and everything was quite civil for once.
the following day i got a text from her saying "this [censored] stops now, you are ruining my son" to which i asked how i was supposedly ruining him, then she started throwing loads of vile insults at me and basically saying that he wasnt coping with coming to me at the weekends, and living his life with her during the week.
she told me that " if he wasnt coping that he wouldnt go" to which i replied that i had seen no signs of him not coping and that he was well behaved with me unless he was tired. cue further insults and nasty comments from her, reading between the lines saying that she was behaving like this because of the way i left her.
she claims that she only has his best interests at heart, yet palms him off on anyone so she can have a night out.
my question is this, where do i stand?? she is claiming that i am ruining him but i dont understand how?? she is saying that she wont let me see him if he isnt coping??
sorry if none of that makes sense, bit of a brain fart/ rant
Hi
at the moment, it may be an opportunity to see if you can work together, plus she needs to understand that it will ease off once it becomes a routine - at the moment, it's all new so your son doesn't understand what is happening, plus he's at the "terrible two" stage, so there does need to be an element of cooperation. If you ex is adamant to the extent that you think she may cut contact, then it's worth looking at mediation to try to find a way through.
I should have been clearer, he has been coming to me for over a year now so it is pretty much routine now. Maybe it could be the start of the terrible twos, but I find it strange that apparently her and her side of family are the only ones who is seeing it. Maybe I will suggest mediation but it has been suggested before and she declined
Ah, that is pretty settled. Don't forget, time with you is still the 'treat' in your son's week, so any acting up is more likely to be when the routine is more humdrum - ie with his mother.
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