Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello all
What a brilliant site / forum this is.
I'm seeking a variation of the current "lives with, lives with" CAO in the form of a small extension to a completely equal shared of my daughter's care.
The existing CAO is only 6 months old but essentially made the pre-existing arrangements we've had for 6 years "official".
My daughter is about to turn 11 and is very vocal that she wants to live with both parents for equal time.
Mum is not open to this and had declined mediation, even though she has attended on two occasions in the past without issue.
I will self represent in Court.
I am looking for the following if you guys can help please....
1. Success stories in relation to equal shared care applications.
2. Any case law in relation to this.
3. Information about what the Court would "look for" in deciding whether to grant such an application.
4. Good arguments that can be put forward for and against such an arrangement.
Thanks
Hi,
What is the arrangement at the moment, and what is the reason you want to change it if it's been working for 6 years. Also, why did you go to court to get the CAO?
@actd
I currently have her 6 days/nights in every 14. We had had this arrangement for 6 years under a private agreement.
Last year, I applied for 7 in 14 but some personal issues (not related to child / family in any way) cropped up and I didnt have the emotional resilience to deal with the proceedings. Given this, I "folded" and just accepted a firming up of the existing arrangement.
I now want to go back for the 7 in 14 as I'm in a much better place. Hence my queries.
I'm not expert on this, so this is my own opinion only. I would expect normally that a court would see that the existing arrangement is pretty good, and has been working for the last 6 years, so might be reluctant to make an order, and possibly tell you both to go away and work it out by yourselves (which is a ridiculous thing for courts to do as, if you could do this, you wouldn't be there in the first place). The one positive I can see is that your daughter is vocal about this, and at age 11, the court are going to start to take her wishes into account, and what she is asking for is perfectly reasonable (and quite mature). In my opinion, that is your best argument in this.
50/50 shared care is becoming more common particularly in the London courts but spreading out from there as well. It's usually a 5,2,2,5 kind of arrangement so that weekends/weekdays are shared. There needs to be flexibly for longer holidays but this can be built in to the agreement. At 11, children will start to vote with their feet so hopefully you will be able to work together on this as she approaches her teens. The court will need to know that your work commitments give you enough time to care for your daughter.
Thanks for your replies so far.
To add a bit more information we always keep the exact same pattern in school holidays as we do in term time.
This effectively means that of the 65 holiday days per year my daughter is with Mum for 47 and me for only 18. This is very one-sided in my opinion and doesn't enable a reasonable sharing of her "free time" away from school routines.
In terms of my availability I am self-employed and can take time off whenever I need to. This means my availability is not an issue.
I live within 2 minutes of her school and her mum's.
Could you help me with some pointers to case law, success stories, what the Court "looks for" in equal arrangements etc?
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.