[Solved] Equal shared care

Hi

How long has this been the status quo? What have Cafcass recommended?

sorry, I know am a little vague on details but this is to to avoid being recognized.

We still live in the family house, nearly 14 months since separation, splitting time with child equally

There is an interim order which has formalized our existing arrangement, Until the court decides long term living arrangements in this next hearing. The judge did not see the need to get Cafcass involved, other than the basic safeguarding checks.

Do you know where you will be living and will you have adequate room in your new place to support a 50/50 arrangement? Do your working hours support that arrangement? Will you be able to get them to and from school easily for example? Those are the things a court will need to consider. If you can't agree you will end up with a fully contested final hearing.

It is always difficult to predict what a court will decide and even trickier not knowing more detail on the situation.

Thanks, I know it is hard to predict.

We both work full time but fairly flexible with some childcare around school.
My proposal is to sell up and buy two smaller places with at least 2 bedrooms around her current school.

I can't see why it shouldn't work logistically really.

Does your ex agree with your proposal to sell up? If not this could be a sticking point, as I don't think it's practical to live under the same roof indefinitely, she may be holding out to secure occupation of the family home. Is the home jointly owned and are you married or were you living together?

As Yoda has said, it's difficult to give advice with such limited knowledge of your particular case, but at the same time, I understand your need for anonymity.

It's seems favourable that the interim order acknowledged shared care and it's hoped that the court will want to maintain the same level of continuity going forward.

Shared care isn't unheard of, and I'm pretty sure you can find case law/research that will back you up, a simple search will turn up plenty of info.

This is essential reading and well worth referring to in statements.

https://sharedparenting.wordpress.com/2014/11/04/51/

I have twins, not yet three. I ended up with 3 nights a week despite the mother initially offering only five hours every two weeks.

Be very careful, what may appear to be a clean cut case to you now could turn nasty very quickly if she makes allegations - that's all she needs to do - just make the allegations regardless of there being any truth behind them.

Keep calm and focused on your goal, give the court a path to the destination you wish to reach and you can get there.

I think she is keen to sell and move on too, but with me only having alternate weekend contact. But them again I never know what she wants, she keeps changing her mind. Family house is jointly mortgages and none of us can buy each other out, so we will have to sell.

We were planning to agree a consent order between us when we got our decree nisi, but that hasn't arrived yet, and child care arrangement disagreements have overshadowed that issue. So we have parked the financial discussions for the time being.

Yes I am mindful of the danger of false allegations. For as long as we are living in the same house that remains a danger.

Thanks for the link Justdad. A Very comprehensive review of the research. It would be a good read for UK judges too.Sounds like you have done pretty good but not quite 50/50. I wonder if the judges deliberately don't order equal to avoid the CMS 50:50 dilemma.

I don't really mind paying CMS although I'd rather I saved that money for my daughter's future education. What I am most concerned about is to avoid her getting the impression she can call all the shots with regards to our child.