[Solved] Drug mother and court

Hey pal it's not a very good situation for your son to be in, personally I would go for a full residency order. Mum could still see your son.

Right first thing to do is apply to Liverpool family courts ASAP for a c69 form, this is for declaration of parentage.

Once granted you then gain parental responsibility. Then you can make a application for child arrangement order (C100 forms)

I've just been through the first stages of this process and it's taken me five months for declaration of parentage, it's a slow process,

I've got a solicitor and it seems to slow things down, so you can always represent your self or give a mckenzeys friend or solicitor,

Not sure how much the c63 forms are to submit but I know the C100 are £215

don't know how I would go about that
I have no idea what time nursery's open and I start work at 8am with a 45 minute ride on a motorbike so would have to drop him off at 7am then walk home to get on the bike
they don't open that early do they ?
I wouldn't want him to be missing out on sleep as a child I know what that's like after living rough when I was younger
I could probably represent myself as I have all the screenshots of her smoking weed and her being a "cam girl" (online solo porn)
also photos of the condition he comes to me in (filthy and bruised)
she keeps threatening to move to Liverpool, that miles away from me as I'm in Blackpool
she keeps dumping my son with whoever and going on holidays to Amsterdam and such
guess who pays for that, me with the CMS I pay that doesn't get spent on him
just looked at the c69 form, not got a clue what I'm filling out

Hi pal,you will need to apply to the closest family court to where your son lives.

If you did get residency for your lad you could get a nursery closer to your home.

Document everything I can't stress this enough!!!

And if you Google c63 examples dads, or fathers I'm sure a example would pop up,

To me and the info you have shared about your son he's at risk being around the mother and I would apply to court immediately.

Also maybe let the children services know but this would be very risky, your son might be put into care, and you have no parental responsibility so you wouldn't have a say,

Get the c63 sorted out ASAP and get it into the courts

If you already have DNA evidence that the child is yours and given the seriousness of the allegations and the risk to the child, perhaps you could request for permission to apply for a child arrangements order explaining that the reason you can’t wait for a parental responsibility order is because of the risk to your child.

I think the circumstances also justify an emergency application, which should put you in front of a judge a lot quicker.

One thing you need to decide though is how much do you want to care for this child. If what you describe is true, and you go to court saying you only want contact, it wouldn’t surprise me that at the end of the process your child ends up in care.

From your description, the mother is not fit to care for the child. It won’t look good on you to say you are happy for the child to live with an unfit mother.

just looked up costs and things and holy [censored] its not cheap
gonna take me months to save up for the fees
looked at child minder as well to see how much they are roughly on average its 213 a week
I CANT SPARE THAT A MONTH !
how the [censored] do people afford this ?
looked up tax credit apparently I don't get any
my work doesn't do child care vouchers
I'm stumped

I can imagine how it all feels overwhelming right now, but if there is one thing I am sure about, is that you have got to take it one step at a time.

If you go ahead to court, you face an uphill task, and in the best case scenario you are months away from achieving your goal, so I'd say that right now, it's not worth worrying about how much childminder's cost. If you ever get to the point where you need to consider that, you may be eligible for benefits, you're a young guy and your earnings will go up in the future, and by all means get help from your family and work on building a social support network which can make a massive difference. Let me give you an example.

When I separated, my expenses went through the roof. I started thinking that maybe I wouldn't be able to afford to live near my son because I was spending so much on transport. My family told me to stick to it. A few weeks later I started joining a social group once a week, and before you know it, I accidentally met a guy who lives near me and drives to near my work, and voila, instead of taking expensive trains, I share the car ride with him and spend 1/3 of what I used to spend before. It takes a village to raise a child. These people who go around hailing the virtues of single parenting are just nuts. You need a support network.

Focus on one step at a time. If your next step is the court application but you can't afford it, apply for help with the fees and you may not have to pay them ( https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/apply-for-help-with-court-and-tribunal-fees ).

You can apply for parental responsability and a child arrangements order at the same time. Normally you'd need to go to mediation before applying, however, given your allegations, you may be able to go direct to court because of the risk to the child ? Perhaps someone else with more experience can comment on that.

Also consider attending a Family Needs Fathers meeting, I haven't used them but I heard they can help you with the legal side of things. See http://www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings .

Slowly but surely, things will work themselves out. You need to persevere. Raise your son into the man he can be, don't let him grow up into a mess, you are his father and you have a duty to protect him.

Superb advice yet again from super proud dad,
Strangewood I was just like you in the sense that I did not have a clue what I was facing or what to do.

Keep reading up on this site the advice from everyone is just amazing and it will put your mind at ease,

I will add that you can get free half hour solicitors advice and try going to the cab also.

Plus start thinking about a position statement, a couple of pages long with exactly what you want from the courts.

Keep focusing on your son and what's the best interests for him.

Keep strong brother

Thank you lads I really appreciate the advice
gets me choked up to see how helpful people in the world can be and people are going through the same thing

looks like ill have to wait till after Christmas though
all the solicitors are booked .......
tried ringing CAB who just refer me to the website

also seems I earn too much to get any government help with fees
getting 1420 a month before tax and deductions its too much