[Solved] Dropping off and collecting

There's no guarantee what court will decide, but my personal opinion is that they may be inclined to agree with your ex in that you had an arrangement that worked before, and she hasn't done anything to disrupt that. You would be much better off trying to come to a compromise solution, otherwise you may find your ex becomes more difficult about the contact arrangements, which will make matters much worse for you.

Great thanks. She can't stop me seeing my son though can she so should I just push for what I want? I don't think there is a compromise to be reached?

She can't stop me seeing my son though can she so should I just push for what I want?

Oh boy, you're in for a surprise. You're being naive, your ex has a lot more power than either you or her realise. The law is biased in her favour, and while it's true that in theory "she can't keep you from seeing your kids", that will change quickly if she starts getting legal advise and you'll be in for a ride.

Be grateful that she is willing to work with you. Don't destroy that, you'll regret it big time.

Thanks for the advice. I'm still really unhappy to do all the driving - would it be fair to ask her to do half? If she won't what can I do?

Shall I just refuse to take him back and then she will have to come and get him that way?

In my opinion, you just have to suck it up for the time being. It was your decision to move, you can't really hold that against her.

Over time, would be natural that you'd share the travel, but if you try to impose it against her will you risk it backfiring, spending months seeing your child in a contact centre and spending a fortune in legal fees sorting the whole thing out. I'm not saying this is right, I'm saying this is the reality.

Pick your battles, give it some time and if possible keep the goodwill.

In my experience, something like this can spiral out of control and you could well find yourself with contact suspended. If you've made the decision to move knowing you would be further away, then in reality, IMO, you should be willing to undertake the travel and perhaps ask your ex to assist on occasion. Something you might find she will be willing to do if you try and keep some good will there.

Travel is a grey area in court, but I think you would find it very likely that a court would say, you've chosen the move, therefore you do the travel.

Also, if you are pushing for a share of travel and your ex is willing to discuss, it's usually better for the child to be returned by the non-resident parent so that the resident parent can have dinner and bedtime routine ready to go.

Definitely pick your battles.

Thanks everyone, I'm a bit confused though. Why would I have to go to a contact centre? She can't stop me seeing him can she?

In this country, yes, she can. She can say you have been aggressive to her and she doesn't feel safe and if you go to her house to pick up the child she can call the police and apply for a non molestation order. She can then drag this on for months during which time you'll hardly see your child.

What's even scarier, there are government funded organisations that will advise her to do just that.

Make no mistake, you are vulnerable and she is in a position of strength.

If there is no court order in place detailing when your child spends time with you, then yes, the mother can suspend contact as she wishes. You currently have regular time with your child. Why rock the boat over the travel issue when it could so easily snowball? Personally, I would do the travel for now and ask the mother if she would be willing to assist on occasion. You might find once it has settled down a bit, that she might. It is so easy to find yourselves in a situation where the small things become huge things and communication breaks down. Ultimately, your child's time with you is what is paramount here, and what is best for him, not what suits you and the mother best in terms of car journeys.

travel is the one thing that courts are a nightmare with.
My son has full custody and he is still expected to be the one to make sure his daughter gets to mums and back(100 mile round trip every other week) This is because the mother is poorly(NOT) BUT MILKS IT FOR THAT REASON AND CANNOT DO THE JOURNEY! ALTHOUGH WE ARE GOING FOR A VARIATION ON THE COURT ORDER

As per the others have said, rock the boat and she can and will stop contact….is that a risk you’re really willing to take
I replied to similar post earlier and have the same message for you…

How bad do you want to spend time with the kids?

Make the journey fun for them,

35mins is nothing in the grand scheme of things……try not seeing your kids for 2,1/2yrs because of the organisations previously mentioned helping and advising your ex on how to “protect” the child/children if she really thinks you are a “risk” to her!
However much proof and evidence you provide to prove you’re not or never were or aren’t or never will be….it takes only one person / caseworker or judge to rip your child from your life! And then you are fighting an uphill battle until you get a Judge or whoever to see the truth from the lies and deceptions….

I would give anything and have done to spend time with my (child)….and my ex knows it!