[Solved] Dramatic turn of events

Life,

I won't be able to progress things with the police until tomorrow. But I'm almost certainly going to complain about how they have treated me - as like Boycie and a few others have said, they have not investigated things, and have basically "convicted" me of harassment without considering any evidence.

My ex apparently has already been on to cafcass and has told the officer in our case that "I have made attempts to try and get back with her"

I find that laughable, and so do my colleagues at work who have read the text communications between me and her in their entirety. They are all reasonable people, and see no form of harrassment at all in the communications, let alone any attempts to get back with her.

My ex is severely deluded if she thinks I want any form of romantic relationship with her. I'd go as far as to say she is flattering herself if she thinks I want anything to do with her other than working together and cooperating as parents to our son.

I'm off work next week, so have 100% of my time and attention to devote to tackling the police ineptitude. I have a call booked in with cafcass to discuss things. Will be conversing with my barrister and informing the court of the developments. Plus will also be writing to the ex's solicitor listing the breaches of the court order and advising that they speak to their client and tell her to stick to the court order.

Going to be a busy week indeed!

Simon.

With regards to the possibility of making a complaint....get in touch with the IPCC in your area too....they have quite some power behind them.

As I said before....I am too suspicious to just take the ex at face value.
Like your ex, "Life"'s ex is at times extremely irrational but at the same time very calculating,manipulative and narcissistic.
She does not adhere to the court order, nor has she adhered to the interim order...and we are all too aware that this will carry on for the foreseeable future.
As far as I am concerned....yes I think she is one [censored] of a disturbed human being and only a medical professional can find out if she, as I think, lacks capacity.
Until then, like you..."Live" is the scapegoat for all the ills in her life, whilst she believes, she can walk on water and do no wrong.
The day will come, even if it takes a long time to achieve, when we can expose her for what she really is....one revenge driven and controlling bully with no sense of right and wrong, let alone any moral compass.
In the meantime we gather more evidence of her behaviour and the day will come when "Life" is going to use it.
Like your ex....the behaviour is tantamount to (emotional) abuse and totally unacceptable.
I don't particularly care if the ex has "issues" or not...what matters is the well being of the child,who is entitled to
love his/her dad just as much as his/her mum....

Take care
Kirsten

If you need anything you know my email 🙂 will keep a watch out on this thread too.

JT

With regards to what used to be called CRB checks, I think they called DBS or something like that, it depends on
2 things....
Firstly...it depends on whether the police officer has logged it as a warning.
The other one is the nature of the job for which a check is used....I had to have a very detailed check, as did
"Life" and it would show up then.
Hopefully the officer I. Question hasn't logged it....

Take care
Kirsten

Thanks guys, I will be calling the investigating officer tomorrow to enquire as to the specific details of the complaint against me, and the result it has had in a legal sense. I will certainly be making it clear to the officer that I feel I have been treated unfairly, and the investigation has been conducted with a severe lack of impartiality. I hope that the officer listens to my points.

I will be asking him to take my evidence, which comprises a court order, text messages and phone call logs, and look it over in detail so that he can make an informed decision over whether any of it can be deemed harassing in nature.

I will even go so far as to say that he has victimised me in order to get a quick conclusion to the matter.

Like boycie says, I feel it's right to point out to the officer that the allegations are being made to harass me and cause me stress and worry.

If he is not willing to listen to me or act upon my requests, then I will be writing a complaint letter to the chief constable of the cleveland constabulary, Jacqui Cheer. Also I will be submitting a formal complaint through the IPCC website. Possibly I will copy in my MP too.

I really feel passionate about not letting this matter drop. As really, I'm 250 miles away from the crazy ex, minding my own business, and find the police knocking on my door trying to slap a warning on me, when they have not even investigated properly.....it's just not right I should be on some computer somewhere, logged as an abuser. I'm not having it.

I'm on fire so far.....court letter is done. Letter to ex's solicitor is done. Police complaint will be made tomorrow. During the week I will tackle cafcass!!

It never stops lol.

Simon 🙂

Good for you Simon.
Not only has the police treated you appallingly but by taking this further you are one step
closer to exposing the ex for what she is.

Take care
Kirsten

...a man on a mission! I like it!

Hi Guys,

Anyone fancy taking a gander at my complaint letter to the police? Would be good to get any tips or suggestions for changes or inclusions before I fire it off.

Thanks!

Simon.

I wonder whether it's worth contacting the Police and Crime Commissioner - I'm not exactly sure what their role is, but could be another avenue to explore.

Simon sorry to hear of your woes, been there and def got the shirt and believe she is a [censored] cat to what that thing i was once married to lol but your doing the right thing by following the court order, making direct personnal phone calls turns out to be your word against hers, and they can def paint a picture when they want something, Do the right thing for yourself and your family stick to the emails letters, if you ever have to talk on the phone, take it from me recording ur conversation with out her knowledge wiil go in your favour in the long run if she is being vindictive as you say .Good Luck

Afternoon guys,

Thanks to all that have helped me this week sort out how to try and resolved the latest problem my ex has thrown at me.

Complaint letter has been finalised (Thanks Life and Kirsten) and emailed to the relevant people. Hopefully I have made enough noise for my complaint to be heard and dealt with, rather than swept under the carpet.

I will let you all know what is said in response and what the outcome is!

Simon.

Morning all,

Well I have good news to report!

Yesterday I fired off an email to the police profession standards department, which contained my complaint and evidence. I also sent this to the IPCC.

Well this morning I get replies by email from both of these departments, and also a follow up phone call from a detective sargeant in the cleveland constabulary - which I missed, but he emailed me a formal response to the complaint.

Now here is the good bit, I have not been issued a warning. This is official now, despite being told by the met police that I had been. Not sure what happened there or why, but there is NO warning issued against me.

The detective sargeant also specifically said that there had been "no abuse, threats or harassment on my part."

Which is fantastic, because I have totally disarmed the ex now. She has complained about me to the police, there has been no warning issues, and they have confirmed with the evidence available, no harassment abuse or threats. I will be using this in court to show she makes vexatious complaints against me. She is going to look like a total troublemaker.

Also the sargeant, because I sent him the court order, said that he noticed we had barristers in the same chambers, and that for issues like this, we should talk to them. Which in other words suggests he feels my ex has been wasting police time.

Very happy with the prompt resolution because I have snagged another victory against the evil ex!

Dad info wins again 🙂 🙂 🙂

Simon.