[Solved] Dramatic turn of events

Holy sh*t I wouldn't of seen that one coming I thought something fishy was going off when you mentioned something in a previous post, have the Police charged you with anything how did they leave it?

Surely that have to have proof of something?

She has phone the police in stockton, who have contact the met police here in london. They have come out to give me a verbal warning.

Now I stressed twice that I would not be accepting the verbal warning. I showed the officer the contact order which says contact every 2 weeks, location and times for dropoffs to be agreed between the parties.....therefore me and the ex have to discuss things out of necessity.

I wasn't charged with anything, just warned, which I refused to accept. The police I guess will arrest me the next time my ex rings them up with lies. I suppose it boils down to this....I challenged her about sticking to the court order, and she now is trying to show me who really is in control....

Obviously I need to handle this in the right way going forward, starting now.

I've had this, minus the court order. I showed the police the texts I'd sent an his replies. Mine were just about the kids, his were aggressive. I was issued with a Police Information Notice (PIN) which is a written warning! The police said "don't worry, it's nothing to worry about, he will be signing the same" at first I refused as it said I'd caused alarm and distress to him. Once she said he would be signing too and it was just to say she had been I signed! More fool me!

Mate that is exactly what happened to me my ex was looking for any excuse to have me done for harassment the only way I could stop her was to completely sever contact I changed my number and had no contact what so ever that was 6 months ago, you're going to have to do the same else you will be charged next time for sure.

She will be trying to pin anything on you as you're coming up to the next court date and contact has been going well so she will feel like she is losing control again this seems to be the case with your recent posts where she's been trying to chop and change things, I can see her being a nightmare no matter what you do and it's a [censored] that she is the one doing handovers I'm sure someone else can give you advice on how to deal with that one.

What a ball ache man I don't think this will have any bearing on your case as the Judge will have seen this a million times before and I'm sure if you just explain what has happened they will see it for what it is, I think she is doing what she can to upset the applecart by the sounds of it and I think I've got all this to come :/

Wow. I would, as you say, restrict communications to written (ie text or email) - something where you have proof of the conversation. I think you were correct not to accept the warning from the police. While it is still fresh in your mind, write down all of the conversations you have had with your ex, and what was said by the police etc - this will give you something to present in court if she raises the matter. I would restrict the number of times you contact your ex to the bare minimum and if she doesn't reply when necessary to comply with the contact order, then I would consider going back to court for clarification of how communication is to take place. I think the courts normally aren't too happy when parents can't communicate over arrangements for children, so it's possible that this could even come back to bite her if it goes back to court.

Oh Simon... What a shock for you.

I think you should do both of the things you suggested, write to the court and also contact Cafcass.

I would also write to her and state that as she has put you in such a position you are now unable to agree to any further flexibility and you expect the interim order to be adhered to to the letter and remind her she agreed the conditions of the order in court and will be in breach if the order is not stuck to. I would also either have someone with you or make it clear in the letter to her that handovers will now have to take place either i public place or have one of her family members take over the handover. I would have as little contact with her as necessary....she can't be trusted and was just lulling you into a false sense of security.

When you write to the court make them aware that she would not allow the contact to progress to unsupervised and when you tentatively broached this with her and suggest that the order was adhered to for the sake of your child, she then reported you to the police and you feel it was purely to try and stop the contact from progressing.

Let me get this right, she called the police because she felt you were harassing her because you want to arrange
the next contact session with her?
This is nuts....completely nuts.
You must have a reference number from the police....and like actd wrote, make sure you document everything.
Yes, restricting communication is a good idea, email and text will give you the evidence you need if it in court.

Another trail of thought...perhaps you can go the the police station from where the officers came to speak to
you and sit down with them explaining the whole situation. This will then get back up to the station in Stockton
and they can make a note on the case.
Because "Life's " ex lives in a different county we know how that side of the system works.
Cafcass might not be a bad idea but you could also write a letter to the court and ask if they could bring the case
forward under the circumstances.

Chin up and well done for not accepting the caution.
Good for you!
Kirsten

Hey Simon,

Bad times buddy, we are here for you just as you were for us.!
So. Defo get ion touch with cafcass and the court.

Just from recent experience of mine, at handover set your mobile to record the handover. That way if she claims anything you have the verbal evidence. Your mobile WILL date stamp it and time stamp it too.

The stunt she pulled was nothing more than from what I can tell a power trip on her part. I was saying to mum today, I'm expecting something like this soon myself. I just have that feeling. My handovers are less than frosty to say the least.

As everyone says though. Make sure everyone who needs to know, knows. Keep everything.

I know I've not been able to offer anything new to the table on this one, but nevertheless just making sure you know I'm also here incase needed.

Life

Thanks for the responses guys....feel like I have been bitten by a snake.....but I had a feeling something was coming - thus I'm prepared to spring into action. First port of call will be to speak with the cafcass officer by phone tomorrow, and then get a letter off to the court too (will probably draft that now and print it at work tomorrow ready to send by post and email.

NJ you are spot on really, this is retaliation because I had the "audacity" to ask my ex to comply with the court order. But I guess this is to be expected when dealing with these individuals with undiagnosed mental disorders.

I never fully trusted her - but was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt until I had a reason not to. Now I have my reason.

The next hearing is 2 months away, and like I say, 4 contact sessions take place in that time - I expect some sort of issue to arise from her side relating to the september 6th contact which I kindly re-arranged. But I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Luckily I have a week off work next week, so can devote my time to getting my case back on track and preparing evidence.

It's ludicrous really - I have pulled all the phone calls to and from me to her, and there are 8 phone calls between june 26th and august 27th. Half of them are from her to me.....and all are pretty much dated around contact dates, there have been 4 contact sessions so far.

I have backed up my text messages from my phone so they are ready to print for court. And again, all mainly relate to me asking how my son is, arranging contact. And there are the odd one or two of friendly chit chat. So I have no idea where she thinks I'm harassing her. I offered to let the police officer inspect my phone and read the messages - but he didn't really seem interested in doing so.

Nevertheless, I have proof of my communication with the ex - so I'm not worried about it. It's annoying that she yet again slings mud because contact is progressing well, and she can't bear to have me out in the big wide world alone with my son.

Simon.

where is the justice for people in this place? A dad trying to do his best for his child, travelling the length and breadth of the country to do so, showing his desire to play a fulfilling role in his childs life, by the sound of things, the only parent likely to in this situation and a maniac is allowed to make an allegation with no foundation for which someone receives a verbal warning.

makes me sick to the back teeth. If there was any justice in the land, you would get residency and this maniac would be begging for contact, which I'm sure you would give her simon, as I would. I simply couldn't inflict this level of pain and hurt on another human being or put my child through further trauma.